welcome to windows 11. sleep means nothing. hibernate means sleep. update and shutdown means restart then update then restart. hey, please use co-pilot, we put it in the calculator now. everyone hates us.

I would do anything to have Beans here. I ran two Boston Marathons, and I would run one every day if it could bring us closer to a cure. Now I ride the PMC each year because ending this disease has become the cause of my life. For Francesca. For every baby still fighting. profile.pmc.org/AK0302

Preorder THERE IS NO ANTIMEMETICS DIVISION in paperback from Waterstones and you can get 25% off with code "SUMMER26"! This code is good until the end of Friday!

that bubble pop gonna hit like crack

This video of a woman telling an anti-abortion asshole to, "Shut the fuck up" is exactly what I needed to see on a Monday morning

please stop showing me jimothy he gives me the willies

📷🌿🪻🐝

domo arigato

Sick of my turtles kicking the shit out of me and eating all of my pizza

I'm not posting a thirst trap, my body looks like a wet paper bag of mayonnaise.

bear finale monologue got my wife going

RIP to a great one: a collection of rare(ish) Sam Neills: open.substack.com/pub/vinceman...

"how dare you make fun of taco bell for the diarrhea crisis when it is actually the fault of" ok calm down mr taco

lmao, no absolutely not. ain’t nobody got time for that.

I took these between noon and 1pm

Coastal bound. Have a time, people. 📸: Lincoln City, Oregon

the incredible hulk, print ad, excerpt, snes (1994) retrocdn.net/images/b/b5/...

living in the country means i had to call my wife while i was pooping and say “grab a box, there’s a frog in here with me”

more like “ah’d a see” this one on streaming

Art collectors: Jam Jam Bonnets and other new signed prints are in the shop now theartofpants.com

to quote @hellocullen.bsky.social, me and my rural ass dirtbag friends would have killed the robot teachers with hammers, i can tell you that much

whichever empty suit decided streaming services should still show ads after accepting subscription fees should have been made an example of

bad time for the 20 year old hvac to die tbh

*with my wife, watching Shawshank Redemption on cable* *someone swears, but it's censored* Me (whispering): ᵃ ˢʰᵃʷˢʰᵃⁿᵏ ʳᵉᵈᵃᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ

hate having to do this: this is an impersonation account, clearly attemping to mislead by putting "my second Bluesky" in the bio. it's not me and seems up to nefarious business, so please block and report. by way of thanks my next post will be a fairly obscure niche joke

This morning in Biddeford, Maine, a 26-year-old man said goodbye to his wife and daughter and left for work. Moments later he was dead, shot in the head by ICE agents, the second man ICE has killed in six days. ICE is killing our neighbors. ICE cannot be reformed. Abolish ICE.

Witness says he heard driver say “I tried to stop.” ICE shot and killed a motorist in Maine. Advocates say he's a 26-year-old from Colombia apnews.com/article/ice-...

gonna sit my 4 year old down this evening for a screening of event horizon, miss you sam

going on american gladiators against my 78 year old mother-in-law to settle things once and for all

feels like carrie's had more reboots than batman

accidentally mk ultra-ing myself: oh fuck not again

(man spouted so much hateful bigotry and warmongering and misogyny that his heart exploded) democrats: i will miss my friend

get a real job

live to see more of them die

the great thing about the gerontocracy is that good things are liable to happen in bunches

good morning for no particular reason, friends

share one of your all-time favorite actors

that was my bad, and I own that, your honor

in college i delivered pizza. we had a huge map on the wall in the back of the store. i would find the streets manually and write the turn directions on the back of the delivery receipt: L Oak, R Maple, L Main, L Elm 2786 Elm

here he really looks like the guy with the half-eaten face in the silence of the lambs sequel even more so than he usually does

I truly don’t see how this country can go on if we don’t ban online sports betting. This story is stomach-turning.

I just started Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze and it’s asking me if I want “original mode” or Funky Mode” like I can possibly understand the full ramifications of that choice

genie: and for your last wish? me: I wish I could talk to animals [later at the zoo] elephant: get me the fuck out of here gorilla: get me the fuck out of here giraffe: get me the fuck out of here

towels should dry faster

You should find some more things to bitch about. I don't think you've covered them all yet