Listen up SNOWFLAKE! WMATA scares me :(

It Only Tuesday https://theonion.com/it-only-tuesday-1819569397/

Illinois Gov. J.B. Pritzker (D) on the shooting of Charlie Kirk: "Political violence, unfortunately, has ramped up in this country ... I think there are people who are fomenting it in this country. I think the president's rhetoric often foments it."

oh so now it’s a crime to publicly fund the media??

(explaining purchasing power to an American) imagine a hamburger

CDC leadership also hasn’t been very communicative. To be fair to them, their staff who would would have dealt with this situation were mostly fired by DOGE. So my fellow civil servants at the CDC feel abandoned. They are hated with a murderous rage and no one cares.

I learned beginner Basque at UChicago, an experience that i still cherish. This is fucking appalling to hear

we need to just say it— president trump and rfk jr. are not going to protect federal public health workers from domestic terrorism. they will continue to encourage it. i do not know where we go from here. but we need to recognize that disturbing fact head-on instead of dancing around it

I brought my family to DC for the Cherry Blossom festival. The first thing I saw when I exited the L'Enfant Plaza Metro was a bus screech up, stop next to us, & a bunch of people with "Down with Cis" shirts climbed out and started beating my family up. So forgive me if I doubt that crime is down.

really need folks to understand how close CDC came to a mass casualty event. i saw all the news photos and was still shocked when i saw the dozens of bullet holes across the windows of HQ offices—including some of senior agency leadership. it is truly a miracle more people weren’t hurt

If you can’t name the three pillars of the female athlete triad you should be banned from talking about Saving Women’s Sports imo

Channeling Raw Dog by @jamieloftus.bsky.social today (veggie dog w sauerkraut)

I got a hotel style luggage rack and it’s crazy how useful this thing is

seven years on the dot.

Ohhh my little bugs

me: in cheers frasier said his dad was dead but then when sam visited him in seattle he had to explain that he was lying because their relationship was strained but to me the weirder thing is he never mentioned niles to anyone at cheers the federal soldier being unlawfully quartered in my home: ok

12 foot Home Depot skeleton says HAPPY PRIDE

a good thing to ask yourself when pursuing a broad political strategy is “would this have prevented the civil rights movement?”

No one needs to Maybe He Has A Point RFK. Plenty of fucking idiots already think He Has A Point it's one of the biggest problems we are facing

Working at HHS in 2025 makes me wish I could fucking scream at journalists like this. Can you please just talk to one person on the ground at these agencies!

My 10 year old just asked if Smash Mouth was the only good band in the 80s

Every episode of Andor should have had a little tag at the end where Luthen warns kids not to climb into refrigerators, or Cassian teaches you how to dial poison control.

watching baseball @jonbois.bsky.social

i hate these dumb motherfuckers so much, man. they don't get taxpayer funded water because you guys call it frivolous waste when you don't want it for yourself!

harrow the ninth (2020)

Sinners (Coogler, 2025):

take the ping challenge! ping @moderator 100 times in a row

I heard there was a secret ooze It turned four turtles into dudes But you don't really care for pizza, do ya? They fought like this, Two swords, a stick A couple sai Some nunchuck tricks Those Ninja boys-a callin Cowabunga

Give him BACK

Honestly shocked to see so many people excited for Monster Hunter Wilds when as far as I know they still have Lydia Tar acting as composer for their concert tours but that's just me I guess

Someone already mentioned it would be good to respond with enumeration of the Weingarten Rights (no investigatory interviews without a Union Rep present), in addition to asking them to confirm the intent to terminate those who don't reply, to be used in the paper trail for follow up litigation

A friend who went to university of Chicago has told me I need to make fun of the economics department there more

Conclave (2024)

need him

let's go Commanders 😀

RIP Bob Uecker. Never forget the time he and Bob Gibson got in trouble for holding hands during the team photo.

FanGraphs is a pro-CONCLAVE publication

LAC 12 - 32 HOU Final That's Scorigami!! It's the 1091st unique final score in NFL history.

A suspiciously large number of beautiful women following me today

I wrote about how being able to play sports has saved my life and how Republicans trying to ban trans kids from playing on teams that match their identity is about something much larger than sports: www.sydney-bauer.com/every-mornin...

HALLELUJAH HE IS RISEN

I have gone through all 4838 Illinois Flag Commission design submissions that were released to @milesmacclure.bsky.social via FOIA so that you don't have to wade through countless Abe Lincoln silhouettes, bald eagles, and "LAND OF TAXES" grievance flags to find the funny ones. Thread starts here.

me to robert "bobby" "the eggman" eggers on another successful release

I made a gingerbread panopticon

Never underestimate the healing power of taking a nap on the couch