Me watching Bad Bunny after taking a week and half of DuoLingo: “this app doesn’t work for shit”

Santa was WHITE Football is OURS Skittles are CURRENCY Nermal was CUTER than GARFIELD Plants are NOT ALIVE Vests should be worn BACKWARDS Lakes are IMAGINARY Jumping is BAD Shoes are for HANDS

I mean, someone in a position of real power needs to do something. The people of Minnesota are out in the streets doing amazing things at great personal risk. And people with actual power are doing fuck all for fear of getting yelled at by assholes in airports.

I don’t want to be political… #iceout

Safe to say, we are all tired of ice

i know we're all busy but i just overheard a plumber say "parlez-vous français ? non ? you motherfuckers don't even speak french, do you" to a pair of french bulldogs

Let’s make 2026 the year we erase the song Imagine from the collective consciousness

as is tradition, I post a countdown of my top 100 posts from the year, starting today with No. 100-81. hit the link! www.artbutmakeitsports.com/p/the-best-o...

They say imitation crab is the sincerest form of crab

Kirsten Dunst and Gabrielle Union could do HEAT, but Pacino and De Niro couldn't do BRING IT ON.

Shout out to Seth Rogen’s funniest performance which is in “The Night Before”

For anyone worried AI will replace all of us. Courtesy of Gemini for the prompt “create an infographic of all the World Series winners since 1986” I dare you to find 10 things that are right.

I hate that every week there's something stupid like an Everyone Has To Drink Pee Now Bill and the alert sounds to CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES THIS IS NOT A DRILL and you really wish you could just trust them to not go for the pee drinking bill

Re the iPhone Update: Thank you Apple. My favorite thing about looking for things is seeing everything I'm not looking for all at the same time

Yall can never convince me of intelligent design when we need floss

Movie you’ve watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel, Disney Animated or Pixar.

Jeffrey Kent? The reality show contestant?

Anyone who says “be normal” betrays that they have an implicit value system of who is considered normal and who is not, and when you have that, you will always value some people and traits over another. They will always replicate hierarchies of power in the long run.

Every new word in this sentence is worse than the last

bugs bunny was literally the first guy in drag i ever saw but ok

if you can name 3 of these dipshits I will pay u $1 million

my Oscar speech would just be the first and last names of everyone who was mean to me in middle school

No one at the rap battle will wait for me to type my prompts

One of the biggest flexes I ever had was asking some junior financial analysts watching their phones on a bus if they needed $20. They said for what and I said headphones. They got so mad.

Absolutely baffled that streaming services haven’t realized that when I want to rewatch an episode I’ve already seen I don’t want to start in the middle of the end credits Maybe quit pitching artificial intelligence and use some actual intelligence

I don’t like those who say “both sides are the same,” because it’s not true. One of the parties fights tooth and nail for what they want and the other party is the Democrats

Ah, bedtime. The one time of day I’m not tired

Abduction of Proserpina, by Giambologna, 1579 (from the @NortonSimon Museum in Pasadena), 📸 by @nturchiarophoto

Has there ever been two separate outs at the plate in a World Series game ever? Let alone in the final innings??

I’m mostly mad about the fact that it was supposed to be my last time watching the horrid commercial breaks

How nice that the first time my kids saw footage of the Twin Towers on fire was thanks to a Cuomo ad during the World Series.

John Smoltz is as if ChatGPT was a baseball commentator

Roberts had a position player pitch most of the game for some reason, so I think this is on him.

so this month i’m supposed to buy a pumpkin, then next month a turkey, and december a tree? can anyone explain what the fuck is going on?

If you’re still watching the World Series after the Mariners were eliminated just know I’m quietly judging you

I’m sorry but if you give a shit about the White House I’d like to come to your house and give you a wedgie

Dan Wilson would not have been in this position of needing to go to Munoz in the seventh had he used his eyeballs to override the groupthink pre-game plan from hell to let only George Kirby face the lineup twice when he was fucking rolling.

God I hate George Springer

Louis Varland

I’d like every streaming service to know that I’ve NEVER, not once in my life wanted you to auto play your recommendation. Not once. Nor once in my entire god forsaken life have I ever wanted you to play something before I hit play. Never has that happened.

If I send you this, know I’ve lost my shit

MLB's final four has been set, aka the Henry Blanco gauntlet, named for the only player to play for the Dodgers, Brewers, Blue Jays, and Mariners

Mission accomplished!

Do you not understand that Joe and I have a job to do? We have to deliberately disrespect all Yankee opponents and hype up the Yankees' chances so the Baseball Gods take it upon themselves to balance the scales. This is important work and we do it every year.

Was completely on purpose

This seems perfectly fair and balanced

I know antifa isn't a real organization because I don't get 40 texts a week from them asking for donations.

That unnerving sensation of suddenly having your muscle memory make you tap or click in the wrong spot on a piece of software you use daily and realizing They Have Changed Something

I have never once heard a car alarm and thought, oh no, someone is breaking into a car