All Leonardo DiCaprio movies would have been better if he hadn’t been in them. There’s a better acting performance ready to go by many many people who would have done better with every role he played.

captcha that asks you to identify which posts are jokes before replying

@jonbois.bsky.social Watchin baseball

someone tell congress spring break has to be cancelled so they can come home and do a real fast impeachment, and then they can go back to their fundraising dinners by friday at the latest

Susan Collins grimly standing up, walking across her office, and with a heavy weight bearing down on her weary shoulders, moving her doomsday clock from "concerned" to "worried."

days like today i get incandescent with rage all over again that he wasn't in cuffs and an orange jumpsuit and perp walked on jan 21st, 2021

netflix lighting must be stopped

Left: a show whose writers constantly introduced major plot turns without any idea how to deal with them later. Right: a show whose creators came up with their ending early on and stuck to it, no matter the mounting evidence that it was no longer viable. Planning in TV is wildly overrated.

OK for fun: top funniest tweet ever? I am torn between "moon's haunted" and "Denise I was at your wedding."

maybe baseball will fix my mental health!!

As the father of an 8 year old maybe PUT HUNTRIX ON before 9:30 pm you morons

I’ve never seen a more concerted media push that made me want to see the movie less than this Devil Wears Prada 2/Oscars collab

when you’re arguing about politics here on bluesky just remember there’s a young sheldon spinoff called george and mandy’s first marriage that’s watched by millions of people

umm actually, neutrality means you're choosing the side of the milk hotel

Mmmm, yes, very deep, much philosophical wow, let me counter with: The people building concentration camps will always be my enemy

Ruin a dad’s week by saying the TV display looks weird and refusing to elaborate

joker: well well well, if it isn't the BAT man! my perfidious foe, that perpetual pest! his perfectly putrid presence here to pour water on my pleasant parade! batman (hungover): yeah- well- pf- ptt- FUCK you

Santa was WHITE Football is OURS Skittles are CURRENCY Nermal was CUTER than GARFIELD Plants are NOT ALIVE Vests should be worn BACKWARDS Lakes are IMAGINARY Jumping is BAD Shoes are for HANDS

I mean, someone in a position of real power needs to do something. The people of Minnesota are out in the streets doing amazing things at great personal risk. And people with actual power are doing fuck all for fear of getting yelled at by assholes in airports.

I don’t want to be political… #iceout

Safe to say, we are all tired of ice

i know we're all busy but i just overheard a plumber say "parlez-vous français ? non ? you motherfuckers don't even speak french, do you" to a pair of french bulldogs

Let’s make 2026 the year we erase the song Imagine from the collective consciousness

as is tradition, I post a countdown of my top 100 posts from the year, starting today with No. 100-81. hit the link! www.artbutmakeitsports.com/p/the-best-o...

They say imitation crab is the sincerest form of crab

Kirsten Dunst and Gabrielle Union could do HEAT, but Pacino and De Niro couldn't do BRING IT ON.

Shout out to Seth Rogen’s funniest performance which is in “The Night Before”

For anyone worried AI will replace all of us. Courtesy of Gemini for the prompt “create an infographic of all the World Series winners since 1986” I dare you to find 10 things that are right.

I hate that every week there's something stupid like an Everyone Has To Drink Pee Now Bill and the alert sounds to CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES THIS IS NOT A DRILL and you really wish you could just trust them to not go for the pee drinking bill

Re the iPhone Update: Thank you Apple. My favorite thing about looking for things is seeing everything I'm not looking for all at the same time

Yall can never convince me of intelligent design when we need floss

Movie you’ve watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel, Disney Animated or Pixar.

Jeffrey Kent? The reality show contestant?

Anyone who says “be normal” betrays that they have an implicit value system of who is considered normal and who is not, and when you have that, you will always value some people and traits over another. They will always replicate hierarchies of power in the long run.

Every new word in this sentence is worse than the last

bugs bunny was literally the first guy in drag i ever saw but ok

if you can name 3 of these dipshits I will pay u $1 million

my Oscar speech would just be the first and last names of everyone who was mean to me in middle school

No one at the rap battle will wait for me to type my prompts

One of the biggest flexes I ever had was asking some junior financial analysts watching their phones on a bus if they needed $20. They said for what and I said headphones. They got so mad.

Absolutely baffled that streaming services haven’t realized that when I want to rewatch an episode I’ve already seen I don’t want to start in the middle of the end credits Maybe quit pitching artificial intelligence and use some actual intelligence

I don’t like those who say “both sides are the same,” because it’s not true. One of the parties fights tooth and nail for what they want and the other party is the Democrats

Ah, bedtime. The one time of day I’m not tired

Abduction of Proserpina, by Giambologna, 1579 (from the @NortonSimon Museum in Pasadena), 📸 by @nturchiarophoto

Has there ever been two separate outs at the plate in a World Series game ever? Let alone in the final innings??

I’m mostly mad about the fact that it was supposed to be my last time watching the horrid commercial breaks

How nice that the first time my kids saw footage of the Twin Towers on fire was thanks to a Cuomo ad during the World Series.

John Smoltz is as if ChatGPT was a baseball commentator

Roberts had a position player pitch most of the game for some reason, so I think this is on him.