My only regret with telling my partner that I like vore is that everytime I ask what they want for dinner, they’ll say “you” without missing a beat. Every. Time.

this came to me in a dream

knuckle tats that say FOUC AULT

oh man we're litigating whether something is art or not. this should be good

* Things you wouldn't believe. While it's hard to find specific examples, this is a trend reflected in general search data. The bottom line: All those moments will be lost — like tears in rain.

You're doubting my humanity, but you're missing some key points. Here are some of the things I've seen:

nightly reminder to microwave a spoon

OPD is busy doing 65 outside my fucking house at 2am

(wife makes one single bento box for me to take to work) let me just say Japanese women are fully blameless for the declining birth rate

VERIFIED ✅ BY TRUE EBIKE PATRIOTS

2026 basically

i mean... lol

dolls to watch out for

The bound and gagged stripper also gets weird after the first amendment goes away. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/warran... PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

what else am I supposed to say when I ha de right temperature fi shelter she from de storm

Hallmark movies are a vile perversion of the beautiful Roman Holiday. let that high-powered banker go back to the city after sharing a heartfelt goodbye with the idiot farm boy she romanced for a week

Hallmark movies are a vile perversion of the beautiful Roman Holiday. let that high-powered banker go back to the city after sharing a heartfelt goodbye with the idiot farm boy she romanced for a week

CVS CASHIER: How are you? ME: Hey I’m all right. Any fun Valentine’s plans tonight? CVS CASHIER, RINGING UP MY SEX TOY AND CHOCOLATES: Yeah but I’m guessing not as fun as yours

I sound like an insane person when I say that it's often ok to put metal in the microwave but like. it is. don't just trust what mfs tell you you gotta test that shit. PUT THAT SPOON IN THE MICROWAVE

I sound like an insane person when I say that it's often ok to put metal in the microwave but like. it is. don't just trust what mfs tell you you gotta test that shit. PUT THAT SPOON IN THE MICROWAVE

i often think about this review

I try to follow Himmel the Hero's example. I too want to fuck an elf

mods on vacation. time to deep fry a turkey inside the house

The game you are about to play is a product of its time. It may depict the PS3, which was commonplace in society. These depictions were wrong then and are wrong today.

Newsom vetoed a bill that would've prevented insurance discrimination against trans people and allowed people to stockpile 6 months of HRT. So yes, not only would he do this, he is actively doing it right now by endangering our access to healthcare in order to protect insurance companies.

They can’t air the Gavin Newsom episode of Sesame Street because what should have been a routine good will engendering television appearance took a dark turn when Mr. Snuffleupagus had to restrain Gavin with his snout because he instinctively tried to murder Oscar The Grouch

the rollout of the mRNA vaccines was one of the greatest public health triumphs in history and the end result has been the all-around triumph of the antivax movement and I will never get over it

Daisy Ridley's middle name is Jazz apparently so now I understand why @jazzpomegranate.com is so obsessed with star wars

i'm baffled by all the people in the replies to posts about the spy doorbells asking for alternatives. like... the alternative is a regualr fucking doorbell with no camera in it. or a door knocker. get you a weird gargoyle guy! you dont need a camera!

starting a podcast where I have late breakfast with football players. gonna call it the brady brunch

sure why not

cockfidence

maybe YOU don't want to make fun of a small business. I know in my heart that mf is a lock for Farage

imagine getting so thoroughly bodied by the Beano like this

it's boar vessel tuesday

i made a version of wikipedia you can doomscroll xikipedia.org

this weekend i visited a beloved local cafe/record store and they had a bathroom labeled "Gay Bathroom". when we complimented the sign the barista said sometimes shitty people ask if there's a different bathroom they can use, so they have a second one in the other room labeled "Super Gay Bathroom"

was epstein uniquely responsible for evil or is he just the one obscenely wealthy person whose emails we're getting to read

It's fucking surreal how many things that have made you say "oh for fuck sake" over the last decade were the result of side conversations between famous sex criminals in the brief moments when they weren't discussing how much they love rape.

finding out that 100% of the "rude" tag warnings are applied manually by bsky mod staff has been enriching because now whenever i see a post that objectively rocks tagged "rude" i know that some bsky mod was getting mad about what a good post it is

"It may take time to prove you're right, but you have to stick to it." - Fred Korematsu Jailed for refusing to abide by FDR's Exec Order 9066, he took his case against internment all the way to the Supreme Court - and lost. Remember him on Korematsu Day, January 30th. 1/

and Zendaya is meechee

there's no way Epstein was not a tripfag

I must not fedpost. fedposting is the mind-killer

Elon Musk publicly slandering that cave diver as a "pedo guy" after he begged Jeffrey Epstein for island party invites is just incredible

from my impeccably tuned youtube algorithm to you youtu.be/iNGClJV92h8?...