If you’re an American service member who gets killed in a retaliatory strike, your family can take comfort in the fact that it was done in service of making the host of Celebrity Apprentice feel like a big man for a minute, before he moved on to something else and forgets about this forever

Hold on guys I think I found the new moderate position

The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

you guys ever see Looper

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier

it’s all i’ve got

Did tirico just say kicking a field goal was Woke?

Maybe pundits should spend more time in densely packed, left leaning urban areas where the "real Americans" live

WORLD SERIES WEDGIE!!!

lmao david byrne showed the video of the ice agents tripping over themselves while trying to run after a biker on wacker drive during the “life during wartime” segment of his chicago show tonight

I don't even like baseball why am I subjecting myself to this torture lol

Everyone’s soooo mad at Trump for doing a simple remodel of the White House yet no one cared when Bush did the same to the Pentagon and also some skyscrapers smdh

1/3 of the way to Joe Buck sunrise...

history teacher in 50 years: So in September, that’s when the president signed an executive order criminalizing anti-fascism and saying all resistance would be crushed student: oh so that’s when the whole country realized they were living under fascism teacher: haha what? oh no lol not at all. no.

“Terrible things are happening outside. Poor helpless people are being dragged out of their homes. Families are torn apart. Men, women, and children are separated. Children come home from school to find that their parents have disappeared.” Diary of Anne Frank January 13, 1943

HARDEST PHOTO OF 2025 JUST DROPPED

weird al has been executed by firing squad for recording a parody of the fountains of wayne song "stacys mom" titled "charlies gone"

if you must be online may i point out that project gutenberg is still around and still has basically every book written before 1910 for free

The free speech activist who built a list of professors he worked to get fired for their speech must be celebrated for his support of free speech, and anyone who quotes his speech accurately in context will be fired and/or face state punishment by the champions of free speech, do I have that right?

Army needs to bring back woke and LGBTQ+ Lotsa Good Blocking, Tackling and Quarterbacking + not losing to an FCS team

You have more money than God. But you want incentives to do good, moral things?

Needed this reminder today.

If I have to hear a pro war song written and performed by Jellyroll that may be the end for me

at least toby keith is dead this time

Everyone, even the folks with the nuclear codes, is entertaining themselves online as the world burns. Posting through it and monitoring the situation until it finally reaches their doorstep and forces them to look up from their phone and log off. www.garbageday.email/p/all-we-hav...

the marines finally read my tweet

The Rehearsal might be the most insane show I've ever seen lmao

Ain't no show like gangs of London, never before an action set piece has a chick strangled someone to death with her own umbilical cord w/ placenta still attached lmao

The Rehearsal begs the question, what it Synecdoche NY was awkward instead of depressing

Tatum with some strong words tonight

The Jared fogle bus ad was so unnecessary for The Rehearsal lmao

Russ calling that Tech on himself was iconic lmao

I'm going to have the image of goose stepping Paramount+ suits in a tiny courtyard for the rest of my life lmao

there has never been a better time to join the "Hit the Guardrail at 80 mph and flip your Tesla on Purpose" movement

Even though Russ is only going to have a handful of shots it might need enough to shoot Denver out of the game lol

Keef Girbo is such an elite fake name

Bulls running a lineup with 4 white guys plus Coby White, rarely seen NBA White Wash

#CurbYourEnthusiasm 🤝 #karma

it was the worst of times, its was the wow somehow it keeps getting worse of times

1923 consistently is the worst edited show I've ever seen

This is really unfair to everyone who just voted for him for the racism.

Revealed preferences theory suggests that Wall Street executives value their ability to call their subordinates gay at approximately 8 trillion dollars

Mark Cuban: with my first 1,000? I buy soap. I don’t sell it. I don’t use it. I store it. The next 1000 immediately goes to toothpaste. Again I just let it grow. I don’t use it. The next 1000? Back to soap. Then toothpaste. Then soap. And then toothpaste. Now you’re thinking I’m set. Wrong. More too

Instantly had to look up if this is real and lmao