they're friends 💜

Tomodachi Life me got my wife's mii to agree to move in because he told her about all the weed we would smoke. This game is absurd lmao.

you simply cannot imagine how much 20 equivalent trees will cost

Everything is bad now because kids get their taste in music from algorithms instead of from trying to impress the older girl you know who looks like the Bombchu Bowling Alley Operator

(Don't) try the grey stuff, it's (not) delicious

Exactly one year ago today:

Honey are you okay You’ve barely touched your carrots, extra large mystery flavor airhead, and fake vomit prop from the 1992 Robin Williams comedy Toys

Mamdani: If the NYC apartment you keep solely for bi-yearly affairs with your mistress costs over 5 million dollars, you gotta pay more tax NYPD officer who’s been on disability since 2006 because he stomped too hard on a lady during an arrest and fucked up his ankle: This is a travesty

bluesky is down and it's going to stay down. bluesky is gone forever. it's gone forever and you're high. you're high and everyone knows it and you're going to be high forever too

The prophecy cannot be stopped

I learned about the northernlion cruise by hearing it was canceled so I am sorry but I cannot be convinced it is not a bit

I always forget about "bonkus of the konkus" so every time someone posts it it's like I am seeing it for the first time. Truly a magical phrase.

Zohran Mamdani said he's going to start taxing rich people who buy luxury housing in NYC but don't actually live in there, and the former CEO of Twitter/X called it "actually one of the scariest things I have ever seen."

People over on Facebook/YouTube/elsewhere on bluesky/reality have been mocking this, but these are all totally genuine and highly advanced GMing techniques pioneered in obscure corners of indie rpg design in the early 2000s. Let's go through them one by one and learn together.

Last night I was in bed watching TV and my wife was sleeping next to me. She suddenly sat up and said "car door hook hand" and then fell back to sleep.

20 year old dipshits preparing to talk in front of a camera for 6 hours a day

nuremberg 2.0 needs to end with the assets of all those guards seized and handed over to their victims

Poor Sleep Linked To Gong https://theonion.com/poor-sleep-linked-to-gong/

ChatGPT: you’re right you’re so much smarter than him. He’s so schlubby and you’re so suave. Columbo will never catch you.

I hope this works because it'll be really funny @realfollowers.bsky.social

Congratulations to photographer Andrew Harnik who has won the White House Correspondents’ Association award for presidential news coverage with one of the greatest Oval Office photos ever captured.

Nothing devastates an egomaniac more than a polite chuckle.

Remember on Twitter when people used to pay money to promote their tweets and it was always something like, "I had a sandwich today"?

this is what teenagers in movies looked like during the iraq war

This woman is a handpicked Trump supporter from Arkansas and she is less anti-trans than the median Atlantic columnist

evangelicals eagerly, gleefully pretended not to see the myriad ways trump is the most heretical politician to hold american higher office in modern history so i don't think we should take their outrage as sincere now that they need a way out of his sinking coalition

future generations will need to study like the atomic bomb was studied how a guy so generationally bad at lying found so many people who didn't care because they liked him lying to them

Happy 20 years of Neil banging out the tunes 🐀🎶🎉

Politically homeless? Hope you're sitting down,

Never Trump Republican? That’s a Republican. Liberal who is former Republican? Republican. Moderate? You guessed it buddy. Lifelong liberal who hates the left? You know what it is.

Hit cozy game PowerWash Simulator has just revealed its latest expansion, set in the festering domain of one of gaming’s more controversial personalities. paletteswap.site/dif...

one day of this and i’d start talking like barrett in ff7

Reading the AI descriptions of menu items on Doordash is like reading a slacker kid's school essay, full of useless words meant to pad out the word count. "Rich apple juice drink made from ripe apples, providing a refreshing a fruity taste" it's fucking apple juice you jackass.

the incongruity of having jim trinca talk about the features of late capital within the framing of, specifically, an IGN video is one of the best things about my life. i hope you all enjoy it as much as i do.

Filling out security questions on a form and I am so thrown off by the suggestions. What are the last 4 digits of your favorite rewards card? Who is your favorite boss? Who is your least favorite teacher? I can't help but read commentary on the state of the world in the most minute things lmao.

Schumer and Jeffries need to be removed from office so that we can finally remove Trump from office.

Kind of a major problem that the leaders of the opposition party are basically in favor of the war with Iran and find it very convenient that they don't have to do any of the bag holding

Amazon will be offering refunds via arbitration, unfortunately the judge is uhhhh

This is why the democrats are almost as unpopular as Trump

"Project Liberal" is run by Jason Pye, whose CV includes 7 years at Freedomworks, and Tyler Harris, who worked for the Libertarian National Committee for a half-decade. if you fall for this shit you're the biggest sucker ever born

This is driven by a huge drop in 13-17 year olds getting knocked up with no recourse so just take that into consideration

Age verification bills are bad, actually. The government shouldn't be doing this. Parents should, you know, parent.

This was me I blocked this person

The fuck is this shit? What is she getting out ahead of?