HELEN OF TROY MUST BE PLAYED BY THE SEXY GREEN M & M

We are the daughters of the witches you were able to burn, so we were raised by our grandmothers and all the other girls make fun of us for liking old music

Every single time President Connolly says something completely reasonable and in line with the Irish public like "war crimes are Very Bad, actually, and nobody should do them" the FFG government instantly leaps into action to shout "who the FUCK do you think you are"

Never have I felt the loss of twitter more keenly than when Iran has a new supreme leader and there’s no @phlaimeaux.bsky.social tweet saying “I won’t lie this was a blow but fair play to the lad and on we go”

Watching We Need to Talk About Kevib and got to say, that kid has bad vibes. Wouldn't rush to talk about him.

Sick of being called a luddite just because I said repeatedly that the wheel is an impingement on God's design!

Doing a hunger games rewatch and still not over the greatest line in the history of cinema, “…if it weren’t for the baby.”

The best time to get the US Military out of Shannon Airport was 20 fucking years ago. The next best time is now.

I’ve lost my thesaurus. I've lost it. It's lost.

Why can’t Siri pronounce emoji

Finally watched ABOSAS and I am not the better for it

“In fairness, we also seem to believe that over one-in-three Irish people are accessing social housing compared to the real figure of 9.2%, which begs the question: how much social housing do these people think that Ireland has?” Here is this week’s column.

hades is a bit behind the times, ferryman is a gender neutral title

Something so charmingly quaint about testing for the novel coronavirus in 2026

Venus and Serena should collectively be known as the Tennis-y Williams

Me @ dormer bungalows

Dude named his awesome security company after a guy who got beaten by two little dudes with hairy feet

"And Tiny Tim, who did not get a job", - Leo Varadkar

Me tweeting on Christmas morning in 1843: "*sigh*, they made Mr Scrooge woke"

Christmas hasn't been the same since i noticed Santa has the same handwriting as my wife

And Tiny Sim, who DID die

We all, quite rightly, talk about how great Emma Thompson's acting in this scene is but I can never get past how tiny her and Alan Rickman's bed is.

predictions for youth culture in 2026: - grabbing nettles with bare hands - saying "who loves ya, baby" like telly savalas - sudden interest in "the supercosmos," the universe that surrounds our own - chainmail vs platemail subcultures clash

Going on one of my son's school trips reminded me that my dad never, ever did the same. So I called him up to ask why and don't know what else I expected.

my favorite thing about the benoit blanc movies is that they aren't really about benoit blanc. he is not grappling with demons from his past. we are not getting flashbacks to the husband whose murder he never solved. he just shows up and does his job like mary poppins for homicides

"You will be haunted," resumed the Ghost, "by Three Spirits." Scrooge's countenance fell almost as low as the Ghost's had done. "So you and two others, Jacob?" he demanded, in a faltering voice. "No. Three more." "So four spirits" said Scrooge. The ghost’s head dropped as it sighed. “Fuck’s sa

feel like we all read some version of this story every single day and still nothing ever gets done about it

Got my gorgeous pack of Christmas cards from @ciaraioch.bsky.social along with some beautiful packaging and freebies, it’s truly giving spiorad na Nollaig 🎄🤶✨✨

—I’ve been asked to baptise the King of Spain’s daughter —Infanta? —No, holy water as usual. Weird thing to ask honestly

No, that wasn’t AutoCorrect. I am challenging you to a duck off. Here is my prize winning Mallard. Let’s see you beat that, chump.

When English people seem nice and normal and then casually mention that they were/are in the army

It has taken Patrick's ma nearly 6 decades to get an apology from the State for the murder of her child. They don't class it as murder and no one who ordered this or took part in it has, or will be prosecuted. Patrick's mother is 88 and was too ill to hear the apology thejournal.ie/psni-issue-apolo…

Yes I know them, we went to Twitter together.

Look guys, if the gays can boycott the Eurovision, the very very very least you can do is boycott FIFA

Her Listening Age was 16 you sick fuck

This took me a second or two

Was feeling extremely gaslit by this until I remembered the vikings aka Scandinavians stopped by these parts a time or two! Separate etymology my ass.

It's that time of year again

PLEASE REFUSE THE INITIAL CALL IN ORDER TO ADVANCE THE PLOT

Excellent piece by my colleague, Professor Ciara Smyth: The real migration crisis is not the one you’ve been hearing about – The Irish Times www.irishtimes.com/opinion/2025...

Look, I am very small potatoes as an author. I make too little in royalties to live off them. But I can tell you the reason I got to write my 2nd book was bc the sales of the 1st were very good. That's what else you're eating into by pirating, our ability to keep writing what you claim to love.

very little brings me as much joy as explaining the plots of romance novels to my husband. no one is more earnestly appalled. "he made a BET to marry her? but that will hurt her feelings when she finds out!" yes beloved

Troy Parrott, what a talent! Scoring that goal AND creating Discworld.

about.rte.ie/working-with... Story room assistant job here is, it must be confessed, in an exciting and fast-paced work environment, but at least it involves working with some very sound people, and hey, soaps are fun!

This only happens when a couple from different counties make love on/in a fairy fort. An ill omen.

Housing Plan (final)(last one)(forrealthistime).doc

Just had a lovely woman in our shop in Donegal, searching for her lost twin sister. Appreciate it if my Irish followers would retweet this. Thank you.

i’d love to know if anyone ever misread the vibe and showed up to jury duty in a halloween costume