BAGGER: (spilling my groceries on the floor) Oh God. I'm so sorry. This isn't what I'm supposed to do. ME: How are you supposed to do it? MANAGER: She means she was gonna be a fox. In the woods and shit. But something happened and she got stuck. BAGGER: (crying) Got so stuck.

Crop. Top. Hoodies. brembuilt.com/collections/...

hey train perverts wanna see the shinkansen cloaca

If I ever get killed by the government, please don't let the media call me a liberal. How offensive.

It must feel so good for a company to be embezzled.

Don’t breathe the Joker gas

Shipped discreetly to your residence in a non-descript brown cardboard box and will show up on your billing statement as ‘Amalgamated Tech Services’ so no one will be the wiser.

Zuckerberg could have bought our new ep on Bandcamp 15.4 billion times but instead he decided to lose a fight with Second Life

Find something you like. Steal it. Move along.

Everyone knows babies heads are too big but nobody does anything about it

Tonight thinking about this all-time @ndrew.bsky.social banger

Okay kids. This is what we've trained for. The Biggest wave of news users yet. Small side effect of World War but hey remember, WE CALL THEM SKEETS.

Leftists are right… WaPo: wow all that stuff they said came true it has nothing to do with them though and is a total coincidence… weird right?

Cops are cops

Sometimes I remember how much I love this band

Finally, fuckable pong

European leaders in response to Venezuela invasion: we welcome the restoration of tutelary democracy to the lesser races European leaders in response to Greenland invasion: wait you’re not allowed to do that to white people

Computer, zoom and enhance

You've heard of exsanguination but have you ever tried extrasanguination? The hot new thing is becoming incredibly engorged with blood like a tick, becoming a slow moving balloon of blood for clout

I was standing in line to meet Elvira at a horror convention at 9 am when an elevator door next to me opened, and out stepped Tom Savini. I exclaimed ‘I exclaimed ‘holy shit, it’s you!’ He glanced at me through very dark sunglasses and quickly walked away.

Forensic science is basically pseudoscience

The biggest tragedy about Heated Rivalry is that Dean and Castiel never got to kiss.

Merry Folgers Coffee ‘Brother and Sister Home For Christmas’ day to all those who celebrate

Kip is short for WHAT????

Just thinking about God putting all his cummies into Santa Clause tonight so tomorrow he can give birth to baby Jesus

The sound of a million adult former indie kids getting bodied all at once

We have passed way too many “if ever there was a time to do something it’s now” moments recently to believe that anyone in power is ever going to do anything to stop the worst things happening. If even now, at the end of all endurance, you still have any faith in these politicians, you’re an idiot

🔥this is fine🔥

Feelin’ pretty at the grindcore show

just got a job as a disgruntled employee

I’m finally at an age where weather is bad for my joints

some of y’all have internalized biphobia against hypernormalized cis people who look like they were raised in coal mines and it shows 🌚

Go tell them to play this song so we can make other people listen to this song

Log on to the website Facebook dot com and vote for Riot Orgy to be your new benevolent radio dictators. We promise to not go mad with power. www.facebook.com/share/p/14PU...

@iwriteok.bsky.social do you want to go see this when it comes out?

writing a new christmas carol called god dammit fucking fuck shit ass fuck fucking fuckers it's christmas time

🎵 woke up this mornin shit myself my pants 🎵

Every new word in this sentence is worse than the last

It’s Bandcamp Friday, so get yourself an early Chrimbus gift!

If you listen to the whole thing a thousand times we can earn fifteen bucks!

So many people who imagine themselves to be Marxists have a deeply liberal and idealist understanding of transphobia. It's not a debate, it's a power struggle and if you aren't willing to clearly take trans people's side, you are a scab.

Our new EP ‘Squelch’ has been out all month on Bandcamp, but now it’s gonna drop on 11/30 for all the other streaming services! We re-did the songs from our first demo, added a couple new ones, and they hit fucking hard. So yeah, click the link, do the thing.

It’s not a Jo Stafford cover, but it would still be pretty cool if it was

Anytime an NPC in Oblivion says “I wish I could say that” during persuasion challenges, I’m just assuming their talking about whatever the Tamriel version the n-word is

Happy Death Blart day to all who celebrate. The Shadow Man is real.