My mother was appalled at the thought of me going to urgent care by myself last night, so I had made a joke about turning off the security cameras so she didn't see me leave. Somehow, this was translated to my sis that I was teaching Niblet how to sneak out of the house. 🤣

Still haven't seen the doc, but xrays are fine so I really could've just stayed home. Sigh.

Finally waiting for xrays on the foot. My bet is a minor fracture. My mother, bless her, is acting like I all but severed my toes off - even after looking at it. A bit bruised, a little achy, a little swollen. I wouldn't even be here except to keep everyone from fussing at me all weekend. 🙃

I miss the running of the interns

Remember when good things used to happen? Remember that?!?!

Grimly amusing Dem machines think they deserve some sort of entitlement hierarchy. My entire life, everything has been moving backwards, politically, democratically, bureaucratically, judicially. You are all failures. You are presumptively part of the rot that must be removed down to the root.

The last overwhelmingly popular democratic president ran on the words “hope” and “change“ and the main thrust of the party since then has been “actually things are good now, stop saying things need to be changed eww get away from me shut up shut up shut up”

Very annoying that no one has an appointment open today, so now I have to shell out $75 and deal with urgent care just to get a damned xray of my foot. 😒

want to see a magic trick

We all have that one follower whose Like feels like this:

Guess who is a dumbass and just dropped a 50lb deck umbrella stand on their foot. 🫠😭

Can I just say how fucking wild it is that a man travelled to Montreal, booked a hotel room across from the Pornhub offices, fired BULLETS INTO THE WINDOWS OF PORNHUB, killed two bystanders and the Guardian does not mention Pornhub or WHY HE WAS THERE. Even as they warn against "copycat attacks."

“Google is clear that it's starting to store much more than just what you type into Search. ‘Your saved media includes your images, files, and audio and video recordings from your interactions with Search services,’ reads the page’s description.”

The first bears are trickling in as Brooks Falls heats up. A little salad to hold us over until the salmon rush. Which bear did you guess would be the first sighted?

What is it about me that makes everyone think they can just interrupt my day by doing stuff in my office willy-nilly? I work from home. My office is my living room. Could you please, for the love of god, move shit down here OUTSIDE of my work hours?? They'd never do this to my sister. Never.

39 years ago... SPACEBALLS

There is ONE thing I am looking forward to this heatwave: Pictures of paschal candles that have melted in churches. Here's an example from a few years ago. It's my favourite phenomenon. Because, well... Look at it.

Neil, an elephant seal well known to Tasmanians, has returned to land, with a new video showing him being coerced off a road for his own safety.

The wait is over! 🐻 Today at 11 AM PT / 2 PM ET, join us live for a Welcome to Bear Cam event and kick off another unforgettable season of bear watching: www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lQR...

Anti-Prime Day starts…NOW! 🥳 Today through 6/26, enjoy free standard shipping site-wide, all while supporting local, independent bookstores.

Your kids & elderly will die in heat waves before summer even starts, but in exchange you get a plagiarism machine that nobody asked for and that doesn't work

Also, it is humid as fuck out here, and I resent the house cleaners being here because I have to be outside until they're done in my area (because dog & space). (...it is entirely possible I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning)

Having one of those days where I'm actively resentful that I have to go to work and actually DO things. 😒

Retail emails are so funny. “Here are all your possible looks for the 4th.” Girl, I’m wearing a t-shirt stained with barbecue sauce.

Finally. I miss the days when we had budgets in April/May. Getting this close to the start of the fiscal year without having a budget is a bit nerve-wracking for state employees. Just saying. 😅

My neighbor told me a cat keeps eating his british prime minister so I asked how many PMs he has and he said he just goes to the commons and gets a new PM afterwards so I said it sounds like he's just feeding PMs to a cat and then his daughter started crying.

Christ on a cracker (the last supper, oil on saltine)

“You there, boy! What British Prime Minister is it?”

If rumours are to be believed I'll be living with a seventh different Prime Minister shortly. If it carries on like this I'm going to stop making the effort to learn their names.

Over 2 weekends, the church my folks go to raised almost $1000 from a pie sale done in dad's honor. He'd be thrilled - that's two months of providing food to hungry kids for weekends, which was a project he loved to work on. Bless. ❤️

If your dad is still alive & you get on, give him a hug. You don't know when it will be your last. I can't remember the last hug I gave dad, and it haunts me. If you're also in the dead dad club, take care of yourself today. ❤️

Quit lying to me, Bsky. Or show me the messages. One or the other, because this little blue dot is driving me nuts.

This whole thing is making me miss my dad AND my grandma tonight. NE Ohio born & bred, and I am all alone with just my pocket friends to cackle with about this. 🤣

I didn't think twice about killing that damned lanternfly with the fly swatter, but I really would have. Turns out tennis elbow and killing invasive pests don't actually go together, because jfc that fucking hurt.

eating paint chips from the bottom of the reflecting pool and getting arrested for fighting an imaginary undead strom thurmond who emerges from the inky depths

I just think if you have chronic pain you should be allowed to do one stabbing a day.

Teacher with school tour group outside the Supreme Court: ok everybody! Who can tell me what the Supreme Court does? 16yo, under his breath: fuck things up

Leave her a box of bullets too, if you real 🙂‍↕️

My notifications say I have unread messages, but nothing unread is showing up when I click on the link. It is slowly driving me mad, because the visual is throwing me off. Get it together, Bsky.

Since I did do my PhD in cyanobacteria growth and treatment optimization modeling AND work in the water treatment industry, I’m gonna share my theory as to what’s happening here and how to fix it. People are focusing on the painted bottom of the pool increasing residual heat, and while that 1/19

Work chat has made me realize (again) the weirdness of my family. You mean your grandma didn't keep entire photo albums of your grandpa's various injuries and surgeries? That's a totally normal thing, right? 🙃💀🤣

OMG 🤣🤣🤣🤣

It’s a passion of mine. I’m not doing it for the money

Everyone shut up I finally got a video of Jyn doing her cartoon snoring thing

Can somebody explain to me why the rule is "if you can't make rent, cut out the streaming apps, lattes, and avocado toasts" but it's never "if you can't afford your workers a living wage, cut out the mega-yachts, rockets, and spaceships."

Are you a queer author? Could you use $100 to help you with your writing journey? Apply for our LGBT+ Writer's Grant today! Or, y'know, anytime this month. 🏳️‍🌈 Full details here: sliceduppress.com/lgbtwritingg...

Today is the last day to comment on the National Park Service website about what you think of Donald Trump's proposed Arch. Please take the time to share your opinion with them, and maybe repost so other people will comment too. The more the better. parkplanning.nps.gov/document.cfm...

"Ah, I see you've met Mr. Whiskers. Mr. Whiskers was a bad cat, a very bad cat. YOU'RE not a bad cat, are you Mittens?"