House hunting in the city and am now cursed with the knowledge of "co-living"

Imagining another timeline where my folks check in on me on days like this

thinking it's a fine day to go and do bodily harm with alcohol

I’m tired I’m thirsty I’m wild-eyed In my misery, yeah

knowledge of v-coding as a matter of explicit policy is a psychological nuke, and how someone reacts to learning about it tells you a hell of a lot about them. i don't recommend any trans people look it up, if they don't already know, but cis people should.

This ham gum is all bones!

I had the thought "maybe I should post to insta sometimes" and then I was like, well I don't know how to do that, maybe I should look it up. But then the thought of googling "how to do an instagram post" made my bones turn to ancient mummy dust and I'm now dictating this post from The Beyond

A cool feature of depression is getting around to a months-overdue tunnel toll and paying about 4x what it would’ve been in the first place, which ofc is on me, but also I kinda feel the great state of Virginia could use some walking around money

just say faggot, this is taking forever

the wikipedia image for sexual roleplay is making my lose my mind

The only one to (correctly!) acknowledge that high school sports is about kids having fun and learning things, and not a sacred competition to see who gets to avoid student loan debt

that's just how it is on this bitch of an earth

Michael: Oh hey, you're back early God: made them horny Michael: What? God: (grabbing a serpent and heading back to his workshop) made them horny

lmao

the type of shit they're posting at them magazine

the best thing i can say about Trump Term One is that at least Neil Cicierega released a new album. Mister Cicierega my people are suffering, my people cry out for Mouth Wounds

The music of Seinfeld, divorced from the show itself, is nothing short of disgusting. Imagine if the show didn’t exist but the music somehow did. Hearing it, your face would twist in angry revulsion

hey john. its your cousin marvin. marvin cage! you know that new sound youve been looking for? well listen to this *hangs up phone*

Wonder how many anti trans NYT articles this fucker gifted in order to receive the coveted Jamelle follow

tomb

Wondering what it would take to make me act this annoying about something online. Like say, suppose I didn’t have any other real problems and decided to spend my morning caping for streaming companies.

i simply don't understand why this is being treated as some sort of accomplishment in the queer press. this is quite grim!!!!!!!!!

You are a skilful and trusted vizier. You will advise me wisely on how best to rule the kingdom. You will not scheme or plot. You will not inveigle my other courtiers into turning against me. You will not lie to me about scheming or plotting. If you scheme or plot against me, you have to tell me,

People like to talk about how easy it would be to blow a pilgrim’s mind by giving them a sour patch kid or whatever, but honestly candy would be way easier for them to understand than the song Hey Ya because then you’d have to explain how a polaroid works and I don’t think lots of folks can do that

War were declared

Shout out to the little boy at food lion staring a hole through me who finally just told me to my face that I look weird lmao

wbk

meeting a gay couple for the first time and getting so nervous and confused that i ask which of them is the jay and which is the silent bob

Just gonna sit here and center divs until the world ends later on I guess. Not like I wanted to eat some pussy or take a nap with a big, stinky dog or anything.

get me a fuckin breakfast sandwich you crazy bastards or you'll be living in hell

DAVID BYRNE: Water dissolving! Water removing! ME: Oh yeah? DAVID BYRNE: There is water at the bottom of the ocean 🙂 ME: That’s so cool buddy. Did you learn that at school today? DAVID BYRNE: Remove the water 😡 carry the water 😡 ME: Hm how about we carry some juice in your sippy cup bud?

Not to be This Way about it, but if you didn’t see Pink News for what it was, a cynical slop aggregator for cis and straight people, then you have serious media literacy skill issues to address

Daydreaming about doing The Voidz Human Sadness at karaoke and everyone is absolutely groaning at my shit

taking my Work Brain out my skull and swapping it with my (much smaller) Night Brain from the fridge

New painting! This one is called "Political Cartoon" 36" x 24" acrylic on canvas

Don't like your faggot kid? Ah well, since they are your property and it is Speech, you can force them into a room with a strange adult who will try and turn them into the kid you wanted all along. And hey, if all else fails, they'll kill themselves!

Happy TDOV to you and yours. Here’s to hoping we can all claw out of hell before too long. Take your meds, babies

Economists are the chiropractors of the social sciences.

NYT name searching themselves on bluesky dot com so they can dig in harder on their position that trans people are silly and expendable.

sitting in traffic when a smart beautiful woman, w/an amazing personality, walks close by—about 5ft away. i lock my car doors out of respect

Honkter Honkenstein’s Honker

This'll have virtually no effect on trans women, who already weren't competing in the Olympics (in the more than 20 years in which trans women could participate in the Olympics, a grand total of... 1 actually made a team. She came in dead last in her event). However.... apnews.com/article/ioc-...

Weird dickheads like this will obsess over preserving kids' childhoods in amber while out of the other side of their mouths advocate for replacing humanities with, like, Intro To Heteronormatively Caring About Money and AP Navigating A Civil Lawsuit

Listen here lady, only freaks like me are allowed to call Lindsey Graham a sad old closeted queen. Please for the love of god join us in the current year. Signed, a registered faggot in the upstate