Old people be bad as hell… Be kind towards them

i actually believe him on this one (not because the words are true, but) b/c this specifically has 🇮🇱 written all over it.

Shits going to get shaky.

After the USA toppled and we are colonized by China and the aliens, I want a biophilic design house. Like I want a waterslide made from a natural river that runs through my house into the bathtub and a peach tree in my living room.

Because these morons listen to YouTube and not doctors, I just got this email... Dear Parents and Guardians, We are writing to inform you that your child’s classroom was recently identified as having a possible exposure to pertussis (whooping cough).

Tag me in when we can address the men who are “experienced” and the experience is horrible 😭 No repeat customers. Just a string of women he disappointed once or twice at best.

Domani sounds like J.Cole if he ever read a whole entire book.

My mama thinks that Coco Jones is one of the most beautiful women ever. If she is performing or seen on TV, my mama is watching it.

Niggas with Virginia tags are never beating the allegations that they can’t fucking drive

Valid reasons to crashout

Trying to make a miracle happen. But honestly? I may have to leave Philly for a little bit. Not sure what’s next, besides storage units and moving vans and shit.

Warner Brothers is not gonna let two money makers like Michael B Jordan, or Ryan Coogler get insulted. Because they are definitely a package deal. And that’s the last time the UK is going to see Delroy in person 😭

And now it comes out he was 40 rows back and they put him next to a live mic. The BAFTA's are going to know hell intimately by the time the lawyers are done

Buddy never getting that back

Repost if you didn't know windshield wipers were expensive cause you ain't replaced them since you got the car.

I’ve been 6ft since the 10th grade, and the amount of manly or “strong” just just existing.

I always find it funny when people act shocked when Tall Black Women are called men. Seems like all Tall Black Women have experienced it… But no one else has ever heard of it happening or been the one to call us that. Righhhttt

Probably it’s slowly dawning on the public that there aren’t nearly enough undocumented immigrants in the USA to fill the number & size of concentration camps they’re planning to build. So, exactly who are they planning to round up???? 🤔🤔🤔

I’m watching a documentary and the old man archaeologist went to a cave, looked around and said “honestly I’m not impressed”

At least one Crumbl location will have good cookies

He will crash out if Hershey's doesn't get some chocolate in that peanut butter and some peanut butter in the mf chocolate.

Me to my nephew yesterday:

Any movie you watch with a tough no nonsense old white man it was probably Robert Duvall lol

I desire a fun ass summer. Weekend trips. Rooftop bars at dusk. Late night dancing. Sunroof open and music blaring type deal

Me doing a Prix fix because I had a rough week.

All three and I born on my grandparents wedding anniversary!! Baby I’m teflon in the streets.

Never let a mfer have too much power over you

I had a dream that I was dating Jason Stratham 😭😭 he was beating ass and taking names.

Everything was perfect. The setup before they saw that fog. The unison oof. Him about to do the black folks keeing arm jostle then remembering where they were 😂😂😂😂

That's my senator, y'all. She got her pumps on the back of his neck. Stay on him, Auntie @alsobrooks.senate.gov .

Every time I think about becoming a mother, I look at my younger brother with his age gap kids (10 years apart) and reconsider 😭 one is going to 6th grade and the other is teething 😭

I called a friend in New Orleans just now and they said over the phone "Nigga it's Mardi Gras"! and presumably threw the phone in the air and danced away. Didn't even hang up.

I am screaming!!

I can't be the only one who thought of sinestro as soon as I seen him

When I say I stand on business this what I mean.

… do we know a martial arts school near there . That’s a warrior and I need the baby trained up in the way they have valiantly chosen to go .

🌟 Sex workers at Sheri’s Ranch, a legal brothel in Pahrump, Nevada, are unionizing with the Communications Workers of America @cwaunion.bsky.social Last week, management fired several pro-union workers—including the union’s primary organizer, Jupiter Jetson thenevadaindependent.com/article/sex-...

And it’s fuck ya ghost too!!!

February 1st is Sunday. I have to put something down on an apartment ASAP. I'm looking at a place tomorrow. I have to move out on the 28th. Please.

ICE is upset that ICE isn't welcome in restaurants after ICE ordered food at a restaurant, ate it, then arrested restaurant employees, and ICE believes this is someone else's fault, do I have that right?

Don't forget Troop 6000 when ordering your Girl Scout cookies this year. They are a troop specifically for girls in the shelter system in NYC. The troop also helps families link up with new troops once they are able to find housing. www.girlscoutsnyc.org/en/discover/...

I saw the work I had to do today and just closed the laptop.

it's the equivalent of Jacquees singing a musical note.

If you insist

She wanted to be mean to those ladies and now 3 apps are saying her husband built like a deep freezer and she needs to drink more water. 10 days until Christmas!

i need a massage, a drink, and $10 million cash. nothing too dramatic.

Life is prepping all day for Thanksgiving on Wednesday and then your client goes into labor at 3:30am Thursday morning. And you get home at 8am Friday.