Saw a guy walking a wyvern on a leash

Sure everyone wants to welcome the huddled masses yearning to breathe free, but what of the outstretched isolates yearning to suffocate in captivity

House Republicans joined by 4 Democrats vote to literally take food away from pregnant women and children

we desperately need Supreme Court reform (including revealing the truth that all of them are sitting on toilets during oral arguments)

You can't make him drop out five days before a primary in which he's running unopposed. Not in 2026. Too fucking late

All emails from me require a follow up before you respond to clarify what I meant in the first one, a Memoir

Rest In Power

This Omni ICE flight is now making its first removal stop, to Cambodia. Migrants passengers onboard have been shackled at the wrists and ankles attached to a waist chain for at least 26 hours.

I may not be the prettiest or smartest girl in the room but I definitely have the most chimichangas in my purse

"Human resources" is where they steal your organs, and grown plants in your skin, right?

primer for non-nba fans tuning into the finals: the knicks and spurs will have to find the letters N, B, and A that are located somewhere on the court. they'll be given clues by helping various people – chasing down a little kid's lost balloon, helping a farmer return his chickens to the coop, etc

SCOTUS telling us that black representation violates equal protection

First opinion about the precedential value of a hallucinated case in a published opinion comes out when?

they also killed her brother. An entire family wiped off the face of this earth by a genocidal rogue state

I don't know what everyone's complaining about. Just go to settings > features > worms, then change the "worms pouring out of my phone" toggle from "yes" to "maybe later"

You ever think about stuff sometimes

Nothing good has ever come from a Stancil thread

Reporter: Mr. President, do you know the difference between a cognitive test and an IQ test, and can you explain that to the American people right now?

Antonio McDowell spent 23 years in prison for murder before being exonerated. He said a certificate of innocence “signifies freedom,” but Cook County prosecutors are fighting to block the court order he badly wants.

Okay, but which night?

I’m hearing rumors that he ate the stethoscope

Guys, the next day's luncheon is going to be a high class luncheon; food will be served, I think, maybe, I'll be stone cold munchin?

Make up your mind, Europa www.sciencenews.org/article/euro...

Funkytown: Origins

Ok I get that it's technically not a word but just imagine a prohibition-era bar full of mice in fedoras

for those keeping track the score is now the universe: 13 billion me: 35

trying to hide my disappointment when the waiter brings the salad which is not, in fact, the size of a house

No one is going to top Trump in our lifetime but Paxton is still an outlier as pieces of shit go

Like most vegans, he ordered eggs

Joc Pederson is fucking cool as hell

Thank you for terrifying my dog

Rise of The Machines

"I don't even know what you're mentioning about, thus explaining my disregarding of you."

Honestly, one of the funniest tweets I've ever seen.

WWJD for a Klondike bar?

History is so interesting.

If the bibby babka is not made in the traditional meposian way, the bibby in the babka goes boom

introduce yourself with five business establishments in radford, virginia that you have not yet the opportunity to visit 1. nobby's kitchen 2. la quinta inn by wyndham radford 3. sharkey's wing & rib joint 4. radford orthopedic center 5. elliott's military surplus and fishing tackle

Whooh! Yeah! Whooh! Yeah! #rip

PSA: this is your brain on drugs Me: wow how did he know I take drugs?

Wow this green card shit is evil

"‪It would emit more CO2 than the entire nation of Jamaica."

But is there room in the #elephant

Good news, I found an article about how to lie on the floor www.businessinsider.com/floor-time-w...

Cult

Weaponization and Lawfare were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me!

looking back, I should’ve asked for help from one of the store employees and asked “is this the cereal aisle?”

What a vile piece of shit this publication is.