I dreamt last night I was interviewing a music expert. She told me it was a great shame that Bowie “never got to use bagpipes”, perhaps to represent “a raging, stormy sea”

Oh dear. My friend @martiell wanted a picture of an angry porg, so he typed "cross porg" into ChatGPT ... https://chaos.social/@judy2k/115258137221499155

-cease and desist -null and void -aid and abet -free and clear -ways and means Why is law stuff like this always two words? These are called ‘legal doublets’ and we can once again blame the Normans. 🧵⬇️

This is funniest possible headline for a song literally called "Song for Bob Dylan"

I love this so much I FEEL IT IN MY BONES 😆

This looks like a still from one of The Conjuring movies

BBC news showing the Trump protest in London, Sylvester McCoy has just appeared on a vox pop.

No politics involved, thatʼs how a non-European country ended up in a competition for European countries

There was a skeet recently about how Coldplay donʼt deserve the hate they get. The music is dull but theyʼre nice people, they care about the climate, they donʼt use their platform for the rancid hatred some celebrities do… I was persuaded! Anyway, back to normal now.

oh my god someone slashed our tire

Lowering the flags on 9/11 at the Guantanamo Bay McDonald's for Charlie Kirk is the most dril tweet thing that's ever happened

oh

Never became as popular as "ET Phone Home" did it

This frontispiece in my book just made me laugh a lot. Is this Buddhist reincarnation, or some other form of afterlife?

Customer feedback this week; ‘Please can you get some more diversity at the National Trust by encouraging more hot men to visit.’ Ideas for how we do this v welcome. Nothing too racy please - we are the National Trust not the National Tryst.

Season 8 of Desperate Housewives has introduced Scott Bakula as a character called Trip and itʼs messing with my Star Trek-addled brain. Trip was the engineer, not the captain!

The “problem” with vaccines? They so effective at preventing deaths that they create generations of people that question whether disease was a problem in the first place because they have never experienced the horrors of a world without vaccines.

The news doesnʼt seem so grim first thing in the morning when youʼve had a dream about a zombie apocalypse

“I don’t want asylum seekers to live on my street” is genuinely a wild thing to say as a notionally progressive politician

Still not as bad as Cee Lo Green changing the line in Imagine to “…and all religionʼs true”

Well there was an England flag here yesterday but I guess the students had a busy night!

What gets me about this one in particular is that you couldn't make Life of Brian *then*. It resulted in widespread protests and only got funded because a rock star wanted a tax write-off!

People saying Trump is dying or possibly dead, but I for one would urge caution, because it is quite possible a second healtbar will appear as he enters his second phase and a gargantuan centipede will burst forth from his torso, so be careful of his new sweep attacks and toxic buildup from bites.

What a heartbreaking thread. What an absolute shower of bastards.

I'm ded 💀 😂 😂 😂

From this week’s Beano.

ZONE OF INTEREST (2024, dir. Jonathan Glazer):

This is so depressing. Paid opportunities to write film reviews are very rare. The fact that somebody would take one of those opportunities and then not watch the film and/or just get AI to spit out a review is beyond hideous.

Snoop Dogg says he’s “scared to go to the movies” after seeing the 1896 French film 'L'arrivée d'un train en gare de La Ciotat' about a train pulling into a station.

You should have seen the looks I got in Starbucks when I pulled out Paul Cornellʼs Doctor Who: Love & War, making me a forever type of man only in the sense that I should be in the 90s

It was a bit rough at first but I got into the drama of King & Conqueror by the end of the first episode. But I was also looking forward to reading the historiansʼ meltdowns this morning

1* did not wank the elephants. Good Morning.

RoboCop: *about to arrest me* Me: before you arrest me, which of these 9 pictures have cars in them RoboCop: i’m going to let you off with a warning

HARROW THE NINTH — a mad and confusing book, which appears to have two or three other whole books' worth of plot happening off-page. Glad to have read it on holiday. I understood more of what was going on than I initially thought and regardless itʼs a fun read scene by scene.

fundamentally the problem is that if you think "hotels are where I stay on holiday and I like being on holiday so living in a hotel must be fun and it's not fair others get to do it and not me" then you have the intellectual reasoning of a little child and it's going to be hard to engage with you

Barter Books remains unparalleled at bafflingly not having what you have in mind in its huge stocks, but having plenty of interesting things instead

If you went back to the 2000s and told someone the future has a website called "x dot com" that has heaps of pornography they probably wouldn't be surprised until you said the UK Prime Minister and Elmo from Sesame Street post on there.

Mission: Impossible has a higher movie hit rate than Bond, and the TV series has a good chance of at least letting you enjoy Leonard Nimoy to boot

The decision to frame the bad guys as cosplaying fans of the Empire (Kylo Ren adores his Vader helmet like itʼs an SS medal) means that building a new Death Star is not boring or repetitive or unimaginative, itʼs exactly what neo-nazis would do in space!

Perhaps, one day, schoolkids will study this squalid little chapter in British terror-panic history. When they do, I hope these two headlines from today are printed side by side, with clear annotation of which individual faced more outrage and condemnation.

You can keep your Iron Man and chums. I prefer the originals.

You can't just cross off the scheduled times, write new ones and then say the bus is on time!?! Starmer's Britain.

Can't wait for the wall-to-wall media coverage of What This Means, the endless thinkpieces about Green Party dominance in a working class community meaning Labour has to take their concerns seriously and pivot towards them, you know like we'd get if Reform had won.

repost to instantly kill an astronomer

@gralefrit.bsky.social You have to see these! A friend of mine has been collating a series of images entitled "Things my students have written turned into Philomena Cunk quotes" and they're just glorious.

Today is the 47th anniversary of this clearly unimprovable photo, from a story so absurd that it shouldn’t be true, but is: the day a team of workers from British Waterways pulled the plug out of the Chesterfield Canal, and all the water emptied out

Obviously I will not watch this. Unless itʼs done in the style of Skinamarink

“Meesa got a slug in me!” — my partnerʼs impression of how Jar Jar Binks would be if he received the Dax symbiont from Deep Space 9

Alright real talk no one on that show votes besides Keiko. Dax is like 20 people so she’d get clapped for voting fraud even if it’s bullshit, everyone else is a felon, Odo lives in a bucket, Worf joined space Taliban because he saw people in swimsuits, no one believes in democracy

www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdvic... the outcome of a decade of scaremongering about trans people is a man being forced to use the ladies toilets, great work everyone 🫠