I CHECK CHEDDAR LIKE A FOOD INSPECTOR

Putting new batteries into my wireless mouse with the practised ease of a PI loading shells into a snub-nosed '38

Roses are red Vice is inherent

Liz Truss has feet like fucking Pingu.

Had the leftovers of my magisterial lamb curry from last night with chips and a roti

I had just read through someone’s workflow when coding with agentic ai and dear god it reminds me of Olivier saying to Dustin Hoffman in full Method mode ‘dear boy why don’t you try acting?’

Ditch all your plans Get a big bag of cans

You can't even call people 'comely' now because of woke

Display an albumen that was important to you at nineteen

Difficult to make an argument for doing anything going forward

An Open Letter to Sir Kier Starmer Asking For An End to Narrow Factional Agenda And Instead Try This Other Narrow Factional Agenda I Have Written In Crayon Like A Big Boy

I hope this Navalny thing doesn't lead to some sort of moral panic over frog toxins

Flawless. No notes

emerald fennell’s the ragged-trousered philanthropists

I will now make the murghlai kahari gosht of ULTRAROMANCE

Stoya come to BrewDog the revolution is happening

Suckle Me Elmo

My sole concession to valentines was perfectly poaching an egg for my wife and insisting she refer to it as a love egg

using the word app to refer to a website is an ageist microagression

Where is my sausage bouquet

Weak end / freak end

The war on the high street continues

I sit crouched in the engine room of the economy waiting for my boss to call me up and corpmog me off for another year

Babe come over, we’re melancholiamaxxxing, we’re sadgooning our crypipes

At the risk of cratering my social credit score I am finding Small Prophets rather mid

Some days my toaster just wants the world to burn

Friday

PLEASE NO KINKAJOU SHAMING

I have laid waste to Yeo Valley

Good news: the Chris Wormald I went to school with is not the senior civil servant who just got sacked and has instead had an essentially identical career to me

Can someone else push the economy for a bit?

Joe Wilkinson I suppose

All the AI guys are wetting themselves about being on the verge of the singularity again. I wish them well and also hope in my heart for no Q2

out of Sesame Snaps again, homies

This is every article about ai being sentient

Spelling Bee was too easy today

I just identified an ethical phishing email. Never stop believing in yourselves, people

April 1805. Napoleon has looksmaxxed Europe. Only the British Fleet mogs before him

Sorry I didn't do any work this afternoon I put on some early Ali Farka Touré and immediately fell into a dissociative trance

Gone off Mars have you aye

what b2b rapport-building taught me about running guns into burkina faso

Starmer should offer to rule in a triumvirate with Prue Leith and Amol Rajan

anyone in boston want to host a Veiled Prophet reading

Today is the day he finally became PM

what the fuck

Good morning and welcome to the working week. I have hit the ground crawling

my conspiracy theorist mate was telling me that we had thousands of years of global zeppelin travel that THEY have erased from history adding "why do you think train stations are so big"