while you were studying the blade, i went to the store

Every Super Bowl ad is for the door in the forest. It’s annoying. “You must walk through the door.” Yeah thanks, I know that already. I dream of the door every night

why does this cardinal look like i caught him cheating on his wife

The wealthy have class solidarity and we'll only beat them when we have it too

do you guys hear that bell tolling? wonder who it’s for. it’s so loud lmao

oh apple can fuck right off with this, the year is literally 1hr 40 minutes old

I'm so sorry i'm late, the majesty of nature darted in front of my car. It'll never happen again. I'm worried it'll never happen again.

Free speech is more than me being allowed to say what I want. Everyone also has to like it and tell me I'm a smart and handsome boy

Lots of folks captioning aurora photos like "for a few minutes we didn't think about politics" guess I'm built different, every time I'm out trying to see night sky stuff I frequently think about how much light pollution is entirely preventable with just a tiny bit of regulation

jeffrey epstein won't see your jokes about how poorly written his emails were, but your barely literate friends also won't see them, because they can't read. fire away

Me waiting for the bus omw to kick your ass

"Well, it's no Honky Cat." -- Me reacting to every song that isn't Honky Cat

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look on my works and let me know if you have any questions! 🤗

www.patreon.com/posts/142110... The story behind that comic and wednesday's adorable face

i dunno Pixel lady, if you need an AI agent to tell you to put flowers in water, you may already be beyond help

what if we kissed on the pretty freight machine

so many dead canaries and we just keep on mining

Me: Can I have one of those blue milkshakes that symbolizes Grimace’s blood? McDonalds Cashier: (offended) We believe every beverage symbolizes Grimace’s blood

*gently to my cat*: you cant be a little fucker. You have to be good. No more being a little fucker. *My cat, purring*: the Being a Fucker hour draws near

bring back the Wicker Man Corn Flakes

me & the boys from the Prodigy getting our camping supplies for the weekend

July - 2025 Napoleon is master of Europe Only the British fleet stands before him Earthquakes are now weather

All I think about when I hear people say that it’s bad taste to dance on Hulk Hogan’s grave is that Emmett Till’s monument had to be replaced with a 500lb steel bulletproof monument because white people simply won’t stop riddling it with bullets. So now it just has tons of dents. From bullets.

beating on, boats against the current is GOATed when being borne ceaselessly into the past is the vibe

Hey is it bad if google AI search results stop people from leaving google dot com 99% of the time? All our news and information creators can survive just fine with one percent of their previous search traffic right? I’m sure it’s fine. www.404media.co/googles-ai-i...

thoughts and prayers finally deployed to their rightful target

18-month old at this playground has THE cuntiest little side part bob, the Alphas are going to bring back millennial style in a big way

1) decide to do a task 2) think “I’ll listen to a podcast while I do it” 3) look around for headphones 4) accept side quest from villager 5) get killed on a mountain pass while stealing a wyvern’s egg

[Arby’s CEO pointing to the bottom layer on a chart of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs] Our beef sandwiches go here

Okay maybe this is too hot a take for 5:30pm on a Saturday but I think meme accounts that don’t give any attribution paved the way for people to accept AI words and imagery because it separated culture and entertainment from the idea that someone had to have those thoughts and compose them.

Machines of capitalism

Main character energy is OUT, this summer we’re bringing NPC energy. We’re posted up at the bar dropping lore and suggesting side quests. We’re leaning casually near a locked door and saying “I don’t think you have the key for that” when someone tries the handle. We’re staring at a tree.

just found out one of the dudes on The Watch is working to further enrich JKRowling via writing on the new HP show, so….I’m in the market for a new podcast about current TV, if anyone has any suggestions?

that was pretty funny how you wrote “total eclipse of the fart”. how would you like to put those skills to use for your country in the united states navy

my niche Bsky wish would be to be able to block peoples QTs on their own posts. maybe you could just look at them and smile in internal satisfaction instead of RTing a bunch of insipid praise into my feed?? but i guess that ain’t what social media is About

when i check discogs for the price of many of my favourite hip and current records, & they somehow have 20th or even 25th anniversary editions available?! frankly, Rude to me, personally

A lot of people seem to be under the belief that the post-war factory jobs their parents and grandparents had were good jobs because they were masculine and tough instead of, say, protected by a union under a progressive tax rate and a massive surplus

(slurping cybergruel from a garbage can lid) you kids won't believe this, but back in the Before Times people would eat vegetables, every day, that flew here on a plane. a plane was a kind of bird bus

Here are the US reciprocal tariffs against all the territories mentioned in Enya’s Orinoco Flow

when you are halfway through making the post and forget the word ‘couch’

i feel like the implication here is not just “buy canadian” but “we refuse to even sell to americans”

i feel compelled to remind everyone that chatgpt/LLMs are functionally the *opposite* of an actual expert. the more your problems are unusual or novel, the more likely LLMS are to be wrong. they are least helpful when it's most important

I won't be the first woman who hears in Doug's "take it as a compliment" a familiar line from apologists for sexual harrassment. "That groper? He thinks you're sexy. Take it as a compliment!"

our man @kcg.bsky.social makes it to the hand painted “meme wall” at the local french school

you’re fired. wait you’re rehired. email us a list of things you’ve done today wait forget it you’re fired again. come back your job was important. you’re fired. or hired. come in to the office. wait the office has no computers go home. we are the department of government efficiency.