happy 9/11 for all who celebrate

Who tf isn't getting through their ginger every 3 weeks

Lovely summer day today

Right. If we can procrastinate for the next 20 mins I won't have time to go to the gym

bluesky mods retire bitch

Lucy is at it again

side note, at football last night i cleared the ball from the back as some forwards were running on to me, one of them jumped so I kept it low to get to the winger, it hit the ref at full speed and toppled him over and coins fell out of his pockets everywhere like he was sonic and hit a spike

Why did none of you tell me that I should not play 2 games of football back to back?

The people on bluesky are so nice. Imagine if they were real.

this is how i am going to look every time someone dislikes one of my posts

Except Barry.

Stupid sexy skinless

Need a fancy dress outfit for tomorrow lunchtime. Please suggest (must be sexy, but that will happen naturally when I put it on)

Attention Norfolk folk. If the kids come round Trick or Treating tonight, and you don't want to open the door, just shout 'Prince Andrew Lives here now' through the letterbox to them and problem solved.

Die Hard

Birds but they get spookier each time. 🎃👻 Enter if you dare...🚪

Earnt my single serving of tiramisu this evening

It's time to meet the rest of the HawaiiWorms band!

not to brag but i can generate slop with natural intelligence

1. Mary trademarked her name which means there can only ever be one Mary Berry and all others are put to the sword 2. Mary calls her vagina Enid 3. She shot a man in 1993, just to watch him die 4. Mary released Casserolé (olé olé) a dance hit in the summer of 1983 5. She voiced Pingu over 3 seasons

Male patterned bald mess

just been reading up about that hurricane

Easy. Humanity

Thinking it might be time for the heating to come on

found on a typewriter a few years ago at a flea market

“uk deficit £30bn a year" factoid actually just statistical error. uk runs deficit of £0 per year. Chairs Torsten, who lives in office & buys over 140,000 desk chairs each day, is an outlier and should not have been counted

My cat is so lazy, she's been laying next to me in bed all day. Lazy ass cat.

It's real!!!!

Hot. What's your name? (me after sex with your mom)

Sexy trebuchet for sale

I'm sure Shakespeare was great in his day but now he's dead and hungers for my soul. No thank you. That's why theater kids are so weird

Normal levels of horniness on Bolton's kit

if you’re looking for a free webinar on Bipolar and seasonal self-care delivered by a leading mh charity then do i have a treat for you

Do you have single glazing in your home? You may be entitled to condensation.

Seeing a fusilli answers to this

Stop scrolling and post two characters who bring you happiness

Literally nothing. I am a perfect angel.

Final push before bed: Daphne is 50 votes behind Bert the dog, and would love to be the face of March in the excellent @lawpawcalendar.bsky.social, which raises lots of money for charity. Thank you! lawpawcalendar.com/vote-here-fo...

youtuber realises why a road was built

POV: You're Leo

IT'S BOOPING TIME

WHO WANT NINJA CLOSE UP?

I see the Maccabi Tel Aviv got in a practice riot at the weekend. It's nice to see somebody take the season seriously

Excellent news for me. Good things forever

the liquid is um suspiciously creamy

Rookie numbers compared to @traceyno.bsky.social

what’s made of brass and sounds like tom jones trombones

Could not be happier to be at an airport