If you get turned on by the new Wuthering Heights film then Cliff Richard turns up at your house dressed as Heathcliff and throws you in horny jail

I have to Google most of the famous people you lot say went to your schools

"Use your Diffuser" came from a conversation between the band after Slash came in soaked after getting caught in November Rain.

The 1991 Guns N' Roses album "use your illusion" was originally titled "use your diffuser" in reference to the hairdryer that guitarist Slash used to maintain his lustrous curls

“Just make the words different colours, it’ll be fine”

It's bin night and that's what spikes *my* cortisol levels (in a good way)

Bridgerton is on in another room while I am in the kitchen and all I can hear is non-stop boning

Hey Jim Radcliffe! You're a cunt!

Met the legend that is @emuhp.bsky.social tonight (once I was brave enough to say hello)

withering tights

Juat realised that I am now the same age my dad was when I left university, so if you need me please let me know quickly as I'll soon be melting myself down for glue

Post a banger not in English youtu.be/1NbitthKML4?...

Myself and @ricardoautobahn.co.uk have made a pop single to raise awareness and hopefully a few quid for @noiseboxradio.com - its a familiar sort of tune but with all new lyrics. There nay even be - gulp - rapping. houseofsplain.bandcamp.com/album/noiseb...

Morning folks I've released a new e,p today on Bandcamp Four tracks of bass, beats and fx jeremystokes.bandcamp.com/album/radio-...

I'm not on that silly green map

Someone called Joe Montana has just been introduced on the pitch

Ugh, why does the Super Bowl have to be so American

New England Patriots lineup at the Super Bowl tonight

Grey Cup > Super Bowl

Yeah I love the Luge Little Undies Generating Excitement

I wont read substack, I won't repost substack, and if you share a substack with me you are getting unfriended. The greatest enemy of the human race it seems is laziness, if its easier we will do it, even if it fuels hate. Well fuck that.

I'm drinking unicorn beer, but I don't want to think about how the unicorns were milked for it

Saying "I could do that" about every single Winter Olympics event until someone punches me

Curling is weird, it's like crown green bowling combined with cleaning. I don't get it.

How have companies handed over their customer interactions to this?

Can't sleep won't sleep.

Feel like I'm tripping balls

Am I really going to sit through the winter Olympics opening ceremony? Why yes I am.

Guess what?

I've got ONE left. Just one. It's lonely. It needs a loving home, and maybe you could be the one to provide that?

This man has excellent taste in stolen goods and you should be just like him (except buy it)

It's today! Make my dreams come true!

Hello sexy people. Tomorrow you'll see A LOT of messages about Bandcamp Friday. I would just like you to know I only have 3 copies of my recent EP on cassette left, and I'm telling you today because by the end of tomorrow I would love to say I had sold out hawaiiworms.bandcamp.com/album/kiosk-67

Nice

There's a mirror in my bedroom that, when I look in it I think "I look great". And then I try and take a photo and I look like a potato.

I see your Asse and raise you a Poo

Here's an (awful) old picture of me from 2011 which I am sharing only to tell you that I got the train to this town specifically and only to get this photo and then immediately got back on another train and left. That's the level of commitment I bring.

I've decided on what theme of recommendations I'll make for next weeks #BandcampFriday, but I need your help, folks! If you have songs, albums, compilations etc. out where you donate the proceeds to a good cause, post them here. Doesn't matter if it's big or small; I'll boost everything on the 6th!

Someone just sink Britain to the bottom of the ocean, no one will miss it

If you weren't on CoHost with us you can't be on Upscrolled, thems the rules

Me having drawn loads of Valentines Cards for you all and having sold about four… WHERE IS DA LUV? They’re all here. I need knickers and frazzles money Pls buy dem - I hate marketing. I just wanna make ART linktr.ee/Dippyfishcards #bsnm

I highly recommend this for your Saturday night!

Roll up roll up. It's Friday Be Posting Equines time or #FBPE for short (I suspect I have everyone who might use that hashtag for anything else blocked now, but this might flush some stragglers out)

Tuesday night pub? Tuesday night pub.

Here I am then, as old as the hills. Guess how old I am today and win a prize. (There's no prize and anyone who says I'm older than I am gets blocked)

Happy birthday Frank Skinner, Tricky, Gillian Gilbert, Derek Acorah.... ...and me.

You know those disgusting "smoked cheese" things shaped like a sausage? I love them.