I aspire to @kevinmkruse.bsky.social’s level of creativity in insulting Rob Schneider.

They say imitation crab is the sincerest form of crab

Atlantic Avenue, Brooklyn

Scrooge: You there boy, what day is it? Boy: It's December 26, sir! Scrooge: Oh god. Oh no. I'm too late. I fucked up so baaaad.

If I was the smartest man in the world and I had an epic plan to save the world from ruin i probably wouldn‘t have called myself “Ozymandias“.

It was great.

I like the questions Pluribus is asking.

From a focus group of Gen Z Republicans. (www.city-journal.org/article/manh...) Tell me again about how Zohran Mamdani is the big threat to Jewish thriving in the US today.

Excuse my language but this looks like absolute dog shit.

I heard there was a secret meat With paprika, and spicy heat But you don't really care for sausage Nduja ...sorry, I can delete this. I've just seen a few posts in this format and I wanted in.

“That is what it looks like when you zoom in on a mugshot of someone who killed her whole family in a meth-fueled rage after their MLM fell apart. That is a woman who bought too many leggings.” —my wife

If you see this, we IMPLORE YOU to post a picture from whatever device you're using, without explanation.

A million Muslims live in New York City. We belong here, as does every other New Yorker. This is vile Islamophobia from the Councilwoman and it has no place in our city.

No one’s rich like Gaston That’s the pitch for “Gaston” No one’s complex and tragic yet kitsch like Gaston He’s a circle that begs to be squared It’s a tentpole, a four-quadrant hit Yes his backstory’s moving and layered And it’s starring a CGI de-aged Brad Pitt

not the kind of behavior I expect from the winner of the fifa peace prize

As he celebrates his 100th Birthday this very day, can we all take a moment to acknowledge that time when Dick Van Dyke won the internet internet. Forever.

via Bill Seinkiewicz on Facebook

This is very sad news. She was a lovely writer, and an absolute pro.

They're using the confinement box, one of the most horrific methods of CIA torture in the post-9/11 black sites, against migrants now. This is the direct result of the lack of consequences for the architects of the torture program. Either there will be criminal penalties for this or it will expand.

logging on

this is my sickness

without birthright citizenship in the united states, you don't have a democracy and you don't have rule of law. revoking birthright citizenship gives fascists free rein to purge the country of literally anyone they don't like. it opens the door to atrocities and mass murder. i am not exaggerating.

The Never Ending Pasta Bowl is right there.

Imagining Trump like in Martin Dressler, building an increasingly fantastical and labyrinthine ballroom to wander in forever.

🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨 I’m partnering with Rep. Massie & @joaquincastrotx.bsky.social to introduce a War Powers Resolution that will force a vote in Congress to block Trump’s insane escalations against Venezuela. No one except Trump wants this war—so I’m going to use every tool I have to stop him.

Is there a doula in the platz?

How did I not know about this until now?

thinking about this Brautigan short again

I'm watching some Pluribus theory videos and man, there's just not a lot to theorize about.

I banned my fists Rice and Weber because they're red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ochre and peach and ruby and olive and violet and fawn and lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve and cream and crimson and silver and rose and azure and lemon and russet and grey and

Plato was right

His breadth and depth were astonishing, his curiosity insatiable. He wrote puzzle boxes and circuses, historical epics and maps of the heart, and he never stopped changing.

A true master. RIP

“I was just following otters.”

@elliottkalan.bsky.social re Lizard Music-- gotta be better than House with the Clock in its Walls, right? RIGHT??

Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you’ve seen: TMBG Paul Simon The Magnetic Fields Regina Spektor The Pogues

They Say Fear's A Man's Best Friend, Charlie Brown

Was not expecting this blatant xenophobia on my tv first thing in the morning...

“It’s all a microcosm of a media industry that allowed Olivia Nuzzi and Ryan Lizza to flourish in the first place,” I say. Without a word, my dad stands up from the table, picks up the turkey, and casually dumps it in the trash. Mom pours the gravy into the punch bowl

One of the most important American artists who ever lived, his influence up there with the great jazz & bluesmen - I mean what he did was totally new & unique to where he came from

I love Shakespeare as much as the next nerd, but do I really want to see him grieving for 125 excruciating minutes?

The Lives of the Wicked Should Be Made Brief, For the Rest of Us Death would Be a Relief Charlie Brown

Last Christmas I gave you my heart Not really my heart Just somebody's heart This year If the cops should appear Please tell them that you don't know me

They’ll be picked up next week for possessing child porn.

Seeing how much of the right-wing on Twitter is just bot farms, kinda lays bare how much hate and hatred is a project that needs to be constantly maintained, a fire that needs to be fed all the time lest it go out for a moment, so much time, effort, and resources to keep people angry and hateful.

I Know What You're Dune Next Summer