For fuck's sake, sign up for The Onion, and get a free limited edition IW tote. A share of merch sales will go to the Sandy Hook families, which will be the first time they get any money since they filed this lawsuit eight years ago. Legal fees have been insane. Please sign up and help us out!

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars. We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director. Please stand by for more.

Browsing this company's website and the only way I can describe what I'm seeing is imagine a school shooter was a management consultant

Extremely normal and fine for a company to put this in a public statement

You cannot make appeasing these people your entire political project.

I think it is preferable to have politicians who have, at some point in their lives, lived like a normal person

Last month in The Onion:

Zohran Mamdani said he's going to start taxing rich people who buy luxury housing in NYC but don't actually live in there, and the former CEO of Twitter/X called it "actually one of the scariest things I have ever seen."

Notifications for deleted shouldn't remain in any OS notification database, and we've asked Apple to address this. In the meantime, you can prevent any preview text from your Signal messages from appearing in your notifications. Signal Settings > Notifications > Show “No Name or Content”

Everyone here is overly familiar with the Nazi bar analogy. If 8 people at the bar are "doing fine" and 2 people are destitute and suffering then you live in a society of destitution and suffering.

You know I knew that Door Dash woman looked familiar

lol

More than 1,000 writers, actors and directors, including Bryan Cranston, released a letter on Monday opposing Paramount’s acquisition of Warner Bros. Discovery, saying the deal would harm Hollywood’s already distressed entertainment industry.

I am pretty sure that if a Democratic US President was in office, lashing out at the supreme pontiff, and blasphemously depicting himself as the savior, the headlines would describe this papal response as defending the church and not “hitting back.”

the Soros conspiracy coming from Elon in particular is just embarrassing. you’re worth like 80x what Soros is buddy, if you thought he was buying elections you could snap your fingers and fix it.

Orban may be the last of the 2022-23 inflation victims, but it certainly is part of the reason he lost!

Orban is not conceding because he's honourable. He's conceding because his defeat is so comprehensive even he can't pretend he won.

Orban's regime isn't just a Trump ally--he's the model for Trump's regime. Orban created a hybrid regime with the appearance of democracy, rampant corruption, stealing of elections, and the absence of the rule of law. His loss would be a setback for the project of authoritarianism worldwide.

We have entered the “you can’t kill me if I commit suicide” phase of American Decline

they like Trump and they want to help him. This is why 3% unemployment under Biden was presented in headlines as a failure and rising unemployment under Trump gets "the plan is working" headlines.

The four humans who have traveled the furthest from Earth. (Via NASA.)

In an active lawsuit against the FDA, the state of Missouri is arguing that access to the abortion drug mifepristone has reduced teen birth rates, thereby harming its political representation in Congress. It’s an argument being made in federal court not just on Fox

The idea that it would “distract” from a “focus” that has reached very few people to begin with is absurd. People need to reckon with the Dem party leadership’s overarching desire to protect the status quo at all costs, even when it ultimately costs us everything

When we take back power, I do not want unity or healing, I want revenge. I also don't want a lecture on "but that's just like Trump, he wanted revenge." He was wrong, we are right. It's different. Get a moral compass. Revenge or sit down. Call it "justice" if you must, it's that too.

This is such a good idea. We should do this in NYC. "All Chicago Public Schools students now have access to nearly everything the city’s libraries have to offer — including physical items like books as well as extensive digital resources." blockclubchicago.org/2026/04/08/c...

Yesterday we signed on to @amnesty.org's statement in response to President Trump's ongoing threats against Iran. "The law is clear that civilians must not be targeted, and they must also be protected from indiscriminate or disproportionate attacks." Read more of the statement here:

We’re on strike today! Support our fight for a fair contract by NOT visiting the @propublica.org website or engaging with ProPublica stories today. Tell ProPublica’s management you won’t cross the picket line: actionnetwork.org/petitions/te...

“The government of Spain will not applaud those who set the world on fire just because they show up with a bucket. What’s needed now: diplomacy, international legality, and PEACE.”

WHAT WE KNOW, 11pm: —Liberals flip seat on Wisconsin supreme court. —Also flip important school board seats in WI, OK, MO. —Dems win Waukesha mayor race. —GOP defends MTG's seat, but Dems way overperform. —Big MO county rejects property tax freeze.

A frightening reality check: "When Donald Trump says he'll end a civilization to get what he wants, he's not just talking. As president he would have the sole authority to launch a nuclear weapon and make that happen." Just one person, can make a decision to kill millions instantly.

Anti-War protest tonight at 6 pm at the White House. Spread the word!

"It's giving war crime" has entered the lexicon

you have to get him out of office and you have to do it today even if it gets blocked you force an impeachment vote right now how else can you live with yourself if he follows through with this and you didn’t do everything you could to stop it

I think people are allowed to draw conclusions about the American people based on their decision to put this man in office bsky.app/profile/pear...

As a person who has worked as a union rep, non-profits are overwhelmingly stacked with the worst boss behavior I’ve ever seen (that includes unions themselves). But this is fucking atrocious.

Strongly worded statement here from DC journos here don't mean much unless they cancel their vapid WHCA dinner (aka "nerd prom") or disinvite Trump from it.

multiple times every day Trump says worse than the "deplorables" comment but "both sides" news coverage never seems to think insulting the side he attacks is ever a problem

Like Covid!

I’m sorry, if you’re a journalist and you’re still going to the White House Correspondents Dinner this year, genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, fuck off.

An opposition party would not be on vacation right now. They would have coordinated message to the public about the fact that a President in cognitive decline is threatening more war crimes. They would be BLASTING the message on all available platforms.

they fired the real one because they said social media should be the ombudsman!

One of these political leaders has been repeatedly portrayed as an untrustworthy radical hostile to others because of his religious beliefs. You’’ll never guess which one!

This isn’t journalism. This is creative writing by fascist sycophants.

This is the good stuff right here.

I think the opposition party widely expected to make historic gains in the next election(s) has an obligation to explain how they'll stop this and prevent it from happening again or it's reasonable to conclude they don't plan on doing those things, which raises more uncomfortable questions

Trump advisers think the age of imperialism ended because of wokeness, not because 1) colonized peoples made colonialism untenable 2) technology made territorial empire unnecessary. They thought mere brutality and perceived genetic superiority would make wars against countries like Iran easy.

It's fun that the only reason Trump's gonna get away with saying "praise be to Allah" on Easter Sunday is that the press corps knows he's just being a gutter racist which to them is old news unworthy of mention.

I understand the impulse not to let this guy's statements dictate the news cycle but the fact that he can say shit like this and it barely causes a ripple in the media is a key to his ability to maintain power. Constantly pushing the bar of normality downwards, no pressure to take responsibility.