Our booze cruise has been hijacked by an ethnically and culturally mixed group of heavies and hunks. Alex keeps saying "how could this happen on a lads' weekend!?" He needs to toughen up, this is a time for men not lads.

God telling Abraham to kill his son but then telling him not to do it at the last second but Abraham has built up too much momentum on the downswing and the kid dies anyway and God has to pretend that was the idea all along

Looking at my list of new years resolutions and adding taking up crystal meth so I have the energy to do any of the other stuff

It must be hard to make those Red Hot Copper Ball videos for content mining on various apps knowing the most successful video of all would be Human Hand Catching The Ball but you cannot bring yourself to make it

game ads were so weird 🐀

Walked past my Partner watching The Morning Show on apple TV, one character said to another "sounds like the drama AT the network is juicier than the drama ON the network"

YouTube has been giving me lots of Jim Carrey sketches from In Living Color and say what you want about the guy, he sure is loud

Dad Carrying 2-Person Inner Tube Up Waterslide Steps Like Christ Bearing Cross

the main thing I remember I from reading Murder on the Orient Express is when Poirot mistakes 8 people stabbing the victim all at once as the work of an emotional Greek or Italian man

The teens are calling it hot-bagging, you sneak a supermarket roast chook on a plane and eat it in the bathroom, if you get caught you have to sit greasy all the way home and a six month ban, enthusiasts say the thrill is worth the risk

"How often would someone like Austen Tayshus be in New England?" for sentence of the year

a bold sally there from zachary

in 2026 we are NOT hustling, we are NOT grinding, we are doing just enough Job to have money for Video Game

"Avatar has no cultural impact" I dunno man I pay to see the films, I think a better marker would be if I stopped doing that

[doing backing vocals for Sam Cooke] Science Book

Last night’s rewatch of DIE HARD confirmed one thing for me: the shot where Al Powell walks out of the minimart and looks up at the skyline, only to see (and not hear) muzzle flashes above Nakatomi Plaza, is about as cool a piece of cinema as you could hope for.

Jodie Foster: They should have sent a poet Poet: Aliens ahoy! A galactic sight. When you’re in space all day is night

Best Horror Films Of 2025

Writing more of my It fanfiction where I kill Pennywise with a freaking nail gun haha take that you big clown bitch like pshaw

when the unsuspecting passengers of a sinking yacht decide to abandon it and take their chances on a derelict ghost ship, that's gotta be like the olympics for those ghosts. you know they're pulling out their best stuff for these poor saps. whereas with a haunted house there's so much foot traffic,

"I do not care if my loved ones are sentient or have lives and thoughts of their own, only that I am never denied their presence and service" get therapy, man. probably more, better quality therapy

Been playing fps games from the 2010s and dialogue in games was a mistake

This was an intrusive thought that kept me from sleeping last night until I typed it out

I mean a possible outcome of the current circumstances is that somebody who was awaiting the release of the Epstein files becomes very frustrated at the massive redactions and Does Something, just observing a possible future event

My cat has some opinions on the hot weather

MY 4-YEAR OLD: *calmly, while coloring a picture of the Grinch* If baby grinches die, we can eat them. If they’re clean. That’s ok

Ahh, “hot”. The “loud” of temperature

sending another complaint email to hr about how the version of my team I created in chatgpt is much nicer to me than the real team is

(imagining a man in a hat) ah, a honest sensible fellow, doubtless on his way to complete a job of work (imagining the hat is on a rakish tilt) Scoundrel! Cutthroat! His bastard offspring swell our schoolyards!

More wings.

All done! Quicker than expected! I would've thought I'd accidentally skipped a bit, but it's hard to take a shortcut around a reservoir without swimming, and I don't remember doing that.

Golllllldeneyyyyyye

Like Burke and Wills I have got quite lost. Have ditched the bathtub and piano. Back on track again.

Guys I'm doing another big walk (sugarloaf reservoir, 16km, 4.5 hrs)

Finished Wolfenstein II The New Colossus. It's ok. Hate the submarine hub level, the proper levels funnel you down too many tubes, but the guns are fun and there's a lot of cute details.

so wait, do you get worse at football as you get older? it seems to me like you would get better at it since you'd have more time to learn football facts

Here’s an article from this year with the Australian gun lobby boasting that, with surging gun numbers, it was winning the fight against firearms control advocates. Blame guns. Blame anti-Semitism. Blame terrorists. Do not blame everyday Australians who marched for peace.

Pajama-Clad Child Makes Turbulent Rampage Through Dinner Party https://theonion.com/pajama-clad-child-makes-turbulent-rampage-through-dinne-1819578491/

Muppet Christmas Carol

obviously not the major driver of his health concerns but it is very funny to read A Christmas Carol as an adult and realize that when tiny tim first says "God bless us, every one!" he's a severely malnourished child and they've given him a cup of hot gin

Feels like this is 50 percent of my algorithm nowadays, not mad about it

Me: no amontillado brandy for me, I'm full to the brim with creams and cheeses My rival: (seething) I thought you couldn't digest dairy Me: haha oh yes I'll pay for it in the morning

Ten years ago.

i stand by this statement every year

"so microsoft own all the videogame companies now?" "yeah, pretty much" "so microsoft make all the videogames?" "uh... occasionally they make one, but they're not happy about it."

Pornhub has released the top most searched terms in the United States and every state searched “industrial crane lifting a dark and dripping shape from an unquiet sea” bc America is going through it,

This is pretty stupid and funny but it's also genuinely horrifying how these people don't understand that other humans are more than the service they provide to us.

aw yeah