I’ve never talked to a swing voter for the same reason I’ve never talked to a unicorn

Friend (Normie comedy fan): There's nothing funnier than slipping on a banana peel. LOL! Me: (into intellectual dark comedy) And Dying

An account with this avatar was just blocked.

John Landis on the set of three amigos told Chevy Chase he was going to kill him and Chase responded “with what, there’s no helicopter here,” and that may be the only funny and good thing Chevy has ever said

Fun fact: While Jews made up less than 1% of the population of Argentina, they comprised up to 12% of those disappeared during the Dirty War, due to the antisemitism of the right-wing junta and the association of Jews with leftism. More Jews were killed in the Argentine Dirty War than on 10/7/2023.

if the Mets could somehow play a part in the Marlins missing the playoffs by one game I would enjoy that more than if the Mets won it all (an outcome I am sure I will never see in 8 lifetimes)

having the time of my life at the World Cup. they’re all just to my right, laughing too

I hope there’s a One Shining Moment comp for the World Cup and that 75% of it is Cabo Verde

Ian Wright saying we shouldn’t forget the way the Iranian team and the Somali referee were treated. Correct.

not like us

oh THERE’S the Trump curse. still undefeated

it’s called sports bro

from like April in we had the amazing stretch of the Knicks’ playoff run and then the World Cup and now I gotta go back to only watching the Mets

saw so many people here be like “wow Argentina sucks so bad” and as a casual soccer fan I didn’t know why but I think I get it now!

Wow, what a run we all had on here, huh? NBA Finals, Great American State Fair, Season 4 of the MGM+ Hit Series FROM, the All-Star Game and Home Run Derby, the World Cup... Like, damn, what's next?

Beautiful tribute to Borges by Argentina (trapped in horrifying labyrinth, no goal, over in about fifteen minutes)

The Cryptkeeper on commentary: PAIN have SCARED a GHOUL against SCARGENTINA

🎶 It’s been a long day, without you, my friend. And I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again. 🎶

If you're Messi, you have to be thinking about one thing now: picking up the ball with your hands and throwing it into the goal. You'd never be able to play in the World Cup again, but the goal would still count, you're not supposed to do it and you'd get banned, but the goal itself still counts.

wife: you don’t understand what it’s like with my family being from a colonized country and rooting for Spain me: my family is also from a colonized country! why do you think I was rooting against England?!

cruise (maintaining intense eye contact and leaning forward to perform active listening): cookies? that’s fantastic, wow

The quality of this game is the Trump Curse

when this happened I said “did a chicken explode?” and the whole bar laughed, gonna coast on this for a while

aging Will Ferrell has a sorta Don Imus quality to him. I’m not happy about that, I’m just pointing it out

amen🙏

Huh, usually they don't show the box Tom Cruise is standing on

Neil Young’s “On the Beach” was released on this date in 1974.

Jason read their entire country into the shadow realm.

people who hate seeing children in public should be caged and studied

would hogwarts hire a velociraptor? do you have to let a vampire inside your home - if he's your landlord? is a cop who fights crime as a werewolf by night technically a K9 unit who - deserves overtime? if they become partners, can they literally go anywhere and pull over whomever they want?

The best Encyclopedia Brown story was the one where a girl disguises herself as a boy so she could play baseball but then her identity is discovered and the coach won't tell her who the spy was because of patriarchal solidarity so she hires Brown to figure it out so she can beat the shit out of him.

it’s coming home

England's entire run in the World Cup was just a sting to get the Brits to Miami today to bring these two down. Good job, lads. We know you would have brought the trophy home if you'd tried but you've brought something more important home: two horrific rapists.

Tate Bros after their check bounced

classe de maître absolue! 🥖🥐

still time for Mbappé to score 7 more goals

They just cut to this devastated French child in the stands after that last goal from England.

England and France are only playing for third place, but the winner does get to reclaim the North American fur trade

England playing a blinder... 3 days after it mattered

is this England-France match taking place in Miami or Agincourt? folks I haven’t seen a French defense this useless since the Maginot Line

ABSOLUTE THIRD PLACE MASTER CLASS