Learning ASL slowly and realizing it really does have a different syntax than American English. Like, it really isnt 1-1 here. ASL really is its own language.

My throat is killing me but I don't have strep and I am covid negative. This is crazy.

GOTTA LOVE THAT DANHAUSEN

Obama could have radically improved this country with single-payer healthcare and he instead chose to compromise with pedophiles

This isnt much more than about $25 an hour btw

MY OWN PERSONAL FAILINGS SOMEONE TO IGNORE MY PRAYERS (POSSIBLY A BEAR)

If you're a DC area bartender or related service industry worker and you hear govt./military people talking about the strikes on Iran, let me know what they're saying. I'm on signal at nslayton.12

So I'm not censoring myself I just cant type fuxk, fukc, FUCK

Same

I recently went axe throwing for the first time, and I learned three things: 1. I have terrible aim. 2. Waffle House is not an axe throwing venue. 3. Waffle House and its customers are very litigious.

Evil overlords trying to find ways to make things even worse: "...I know what we could do."

Everything you're thinking about saying is in a language that you've studied and never spoken so just remember you are phonetics wrapped in a why do they not actually spell it that way to me

Goodnight, if you see me in public, look away 😘

I harbour an unreasonable amount of resentment towards things that can crawl under rocks.

I have a rare reverse Benjamin Button disease that causes me to age normally

So many things can be turned into musical instruments, my kids threatened.

AEW is doing good things right now.

I can replace an AI so fast. Like I'm faster at pattern recognition and I'll definitely say horrible things if you prompt me.

I dont care if aliens are real, where are they? Huh? What are they doing for us right now? Nothing. We got enough shit to deal with as it is.

Many of y’all asked how you can support and donate to our female athletes and the celebrations,,, so I created a Go Fund Me. I’m hopeful this can have an impact beyond the weekend and help those that represent the best of the US gofund.me/140322128

I'm going to start referring to my friends as, "a jury of my peers."

time flies when you're dissociating

No mini corn hole is not the same game, why would you substitute a completely different game? Now what the fuck am I supposed to do with Mini fucking cornhole?

People know those tax cuts last summer weren't for them. They know tariffs are killing their pocketbooks. They can see their healthcare bills skyrocketing. You really can't hide a rigged economy behind a "booming stock market" anymore. We're onto the game.

Ellison Buys NYT heating up. Stolen nuke heating up.

That's a good rule.

A personality. He's missing a personality.

this is murder

as president i will have the sk8 of the union 🛹

An industrial grade HEPA costs 2k. For a small business, this could be difficult, but feasible. Either way, as a maior update its tax deductible.

Goodnight you ugly cunts. 😘

if a shark bites you, you should turn into a shark why do only vampires wield such power

Over an hour of dementia riddled babbling.

I don’t know what a substack is but if it doesn’t have something to do with hoagies I don’t want any part of it.

My throat hurts 😔🫩

We had $18k in rent requests come in just today (so far). We’re anticipating needs at our neighborhood school to be over $100k again this month, but this time donations are WAY down. We don’t have enough money to cover everyone. Please help us keep our neighbors w/ young kids from being evicted!

The Epstein files document what many women researchers have long experienced but rarely seen laid bare so starkly: exclusion operating behind closed doors, shaping who gets funded, invited, mentored, and taken seriously. How many of these networks, norms, and gatekeepers remain in place?

Citizen Jorts

And of COURSE nothing is going right today either. Jaysus and Mary, gimme strengt'

ALL OF THEM?

Scenes from the Blizzard of '26. First, a Northern Cardinal braving the elements in Central Park's Loch. 15" of snow at 7 AM and counting! ❄️❤️❄️ #Cardinals #CentralPark #birding

Obviously.

No, you're sick and on your period, not me. Couldn't be me. 🫩

If a bear attacks you, stay calm. Try to see the situation from their point of view

New rule should be that if you compare the energy needs of a human being to those of an algorithm to justify the latter, you get tossed in The Pit

I dont care if aliens are real, where are they? Huh? What are they doing for us right now? Nothing. We got enough shit to deal with as it is.

"This is all about our country right now,” said Jack Hughes, who lost at least one and maybe two of his front teeth taking a high stick during the game. "I love the U.S.A. I love my teammates. It’s unbelievable. The USA Hockey brotherhood is so strong.” https://to.pbs.org/3MJVuqH

Id love to do one of those dont react videos with a buncha folks that don't know me.