This makes me miss my Great Dane. I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes. 🤣😂😂😭😭 #GreatDane

I'm so sick of being right too early

Not only is this guy eating tacos on the subway platform, but he has his plate of food on the SUBWAY PLATFORM BENCH This man does not like life

He's doing his famous "Sleepy Joe" impression

Remember when every time you heard a new fact about Hunter Biden you were like "how is this guy so cool?" Graham Platner is the Wario version of that

I did the 2 joints for lunch thing again. Also rode my bike to the burger spot. On some Ice Cube shit today.

"slow fermented plant milk" is also known as "compost"

Guess where I'm eating lunch

If you bought these glasses, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY DIDN'T YOU KNOW THIS IS WHAT THEY'RE REALLY FOR YOU FUCKING MORON

Watch out it's Office Crush Thursday and I look cute today

Guy must be a real asshole

Merge two movies: Even Dwarfs Started Ted and Alice

Sorry I haven't been posting too busy doing sex

He died doing what he loved: having violent diarrhea.

CYCLE OF HATE and then the pic is this

Benita Applebum voice: Fiona Apple Bot

I'm always saying this

If you're a monotheist you don't believe in almost as many gods as I don't believe in

Dude used to rock

Mcnulty and Bunk figuring out that crime scene while only saying "fuck fuck fuck" is pure cinema

I don't think that most drivers know that they have to yield to a bike in the bike lane when they want to drive through the bike lane to park. They just assume I will stop AND I NEVER FUCKING WILL

So am I allowed to make a joke on the internet or not? Follow up, don't you think it's embarrassing to police the relpies in someone else's post of your article?

Nothing like something unexpected and confusing happening as soon as you come back to the office after smoking your lunch joint

Just stop making movies if you're tired. You are very old. Don't make the world wiser for those of us who will outlive you.

I play to get hard

ok but odd choice of example considering we didnt get a primary that time

You watched I Love Boosters, dummy

If your commute sucks, you're doing it wrong

These pants don't have enough dick space

At the weed store demanding to speak with the ombudsman

Rolling up a few Business Joints before I go to the office

What could go wrong

RIP

I can’t explain it but this is exactly what the Athletic Director of Robert Morris University looks like

This girl gave me a set of pint glasses because she was sick of drinking out of jars at my apartment

Adults having a birthday party is childish and embarrassing but it's not gay (necessarily)

Smoothgroin? You fucking dork

Look at this fucking grape

And then she turned to me and smiled the fakest smile I have ever seen

American car culture always inventing new horrors that I hadn't even thought were possible

I have a feeling that's not their first question

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha (Analysts at JP Morgan get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to write this bullshit.)

WOOP! WOOP! That’s the sound of Für Elise

Type of shit Upton Sinclair would call "a little much"

No need to read beyond this

This song is the end credits of Backrooms for some reason

🎶 My head My neck Might even shave my nutsack and my crack🎶