Dwight McNeil's partner took to Instagram last night after Palace pulled the deal at the last minute. It really isn't a good look for Parish or anyone else involved.

‘Box office’

Transfer fee record broken twice in a month, yet this squad is worse than the one that ended last season. Shambolic.

Appreciate some time to go, but so far, today has been about as ‘box office’ as Melania.

If anyone is an expert on no brainers

The last day of the window in SE25. A competent and well run organisation.

Awful. Just awful.

What is a Brennan Johnson?

Boy, this is shit.

Has it all been this slow and pedestrian?

I feel as though me, the Beckhams and the my fam move in different circles, if they think Brooklyn's mum dancing weird ruined the wedding. I've been to a wedding where the bride's mother got her tits out and punched the cake.

Off you fuck.

That’s quite enough of that.

That looked like a penalty to me.

Guinness 0.0 sponsoring the football. I suspect crack cocaine would be a more suitable partner to get me through the next 90 minutes.

14 years in the Premier League and the owners have left our greatest ever manager with a shambles of a squad. Negligent.

Can a member of the Royal Family not update his CPR skills on a first aid course on an island full of trafficked teenagers visited by wealthy and influential nonces without someone suspecting something sinister going on? "These days" indeed

Conspiracy theorists thought the rich were using phrases like "cheese pizza" to disguise their deprived sex acts but all this time they were just emailing "yo Jeff, got any space on KidFuck Island this weekend?"

NEW @theathleticfc.bsky.social : Emails reveal Epstein twice arranged meetings in 2011 with Chelsea chairman Todd Boehly - three years after Epstein jailed for sex offenses - to discuss business deals. Boehly, part owner of LA Dodgers and Lakers, declines comment www.nytimes.com/athletic/701...

We won it in the nick of time. The deafening music post match already tarnishes the day slightly, but at least we didn’t have this nonsense to deal with.

My one and only football post today. Now that the club seem to consider we needed not one, but two reinforcements in attacking positions, are we allowed to ask ‘what the hell they were thinking’ in August?

Can’t wait for later.

When we look back on this season we cannot forget that due to poor process by Palace, we lost our Europa League spot, we lost our best ever manager and three times key players were sold on the eve of the match with no replacement in the building. No wonder Glasner wants to move on. #CPFC

I still believe in him

Can’t believe they released the Epstein files to cover up for the Melania movie.

A signing I quite fancied in the summer, here’s hoping he gives us the spark we’ve been missing since November.

Maybe Joel Ward leaving Palace is like the ravens leaving the Tower of London?

Hold on there’s more….ha ha ha ha. This is what happens when the only two people in a gene pool are both Rene from Allo Allo.

More images of the ‘Master race’.

@warrenajb.bsky.social ‘not in the right place’ to turn on the TV on Sunday to watch Palace v Forest.

So, we’re heading into a relegation 6 pointer having not replaced our captain and with our only striker refusing to play. This is fine. This is the sign of a well run club.

31

I wonder what it was like living in 2000? What strange beliefs did these people have?

The FA is not fit for purpose. The only solace I can take from that day is that none of my hard earned went to Palace.

Some good news at least on the Palace front.

This may be an issue it seems.

Scam alert: if you get a message saying free cinema tickets for “Melania” don’t open it. It’ll contain tickets for “Melania”.

Blood pressure of a 20 year old says the doctors. 💪 I suspect the rest of me is fucked, but it’s a start.

⚪️🟡🔵 Jorgen Strand Larsen 🔸 Crystal Palace blow Leeds away after agreeing £45m + £5m fee 🔸 Leeds bid never went higher than £33m + £6m, per sources 🔸 United fans react - and reckon club has "dodged a bullet" @teamtalk-official.bsky.social | #LUFC #CPFC #wwfc

Went to the dentist to repair a chipped tooth. He was stumped as to how I'd taken a chunk clean off a molar. Too ashamed to tell him I was trying to open a bottle of Peroni at 6am going to Chelsea away.

Only Palace could break their transfer record twice in one window and end up with two pretty underwhelming signings, leaving the fanbase frustrated. Hope I’m wrong on Johnson and JSL, but neither signing excites.

Thursday.

A defender on loan from Chelsea at the end of the window. So utterly predictable.

ALFOS in Brighton at the weekend. Can’t wait.

Play Talking Heads

Early reviews are in: ‘Even if they showed this on a plane, people would still walk out’

Yes.

This is the BEST explanation I have seen so far.