England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 fans arriving at work from the pub on Monday morning.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but Britain isn’t a suburb of Manchester.

Can’t think of a message less likely to excite glorious, diverse, dynamic and cynical Londoners. ‘Hope in Every Heart’ sounds like some bin fire Cilla Black would sing on a chat show.

Nigel Goldfinger here, enjoying his poverty-stricken life of public service again.

RIP Penelope Keith - god she was good.

Are people still active on here? I haven’t been. Is it a better source of news and comment than it was a few months back?

Deeply jealous of the Artemis crew, who are currently further away from Nigel Farage, Andrew Tate, Lucy Connolly, Lee Anderson and Ann Widdecombe than any human has ever been.

Over on the other side, Twitter is 20 years old and they’re asking for favourite tweets of all time. This is mine.

Quite the move isn’t it, migrating to a war zone to avoid paying VAT on school fees and then letting a severely disabled teacher in a wheelchair cross a city under fire over the weekend to pay him what to her will be loose change. Who makes these people?

“I’m not leaving this house without Peter, Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail.”

I would happily pay more council tax if my council replied to imbeciles in this way.

Snapped this statue of President FDR in The Bahamas 🇧🇸 yesterday. He visited regularly. You won’t find a single monument to Edward VIII, who was dispatched there as Governor to keep him miles away from Europe during WWII. His tenure is, unsurprisingly, not remembered fondly.

I can’t think of a better symbol of Reform’s ambitions for Britain than a sideways flag hanging forlornly over a blocked drain. From the people who brought you ‘sunlit uplands’. No thanks.

And apostrophes.

Sunday #Beethoven I am just rediscovering him after a 35 year absence. Apologies for musical typos, I haven’t learnt a score from music for decades. I absolutely love his nobility. #musicislife #piano #sundayvibes

This is superb from Keir Starmer. As a Dad of boys, it spoke to me. As a Prime Minister, he towers above all other options.

Good luck with that. God the hard left is tiring. 😂😂😂😂😂

The sick irony of pasting their logo over a symbol of remembrance for people who fought and died to prevent the very kind of divisive, hate-driven intolerance they promote.

The teddy bears thing has actually killed me I am beside myself.

Why can’t Sarah Ferguson live in Farage’s house in Clacton as he’s never there.

The Reeves story, whether you like her policies or not, is a nothing burger. A zip, nada, nope, move on. Like not knowing you had to fill in a garden waste bin collection form or something. Those who see this as Watergate showing themselves up to be the toddlers they are.

Every time Reform claims to be neither racist or fascist one of its ambassadors says something racist or fascist. It's a matter of time before this risible Alf Garnett tribute act is rumbled and consigned to the dustbin of political history like its hard right forebears.

Sarah Ferguson deserves a royal house in the way that Liz Truss deserves a lifelong financial allowance.

Next general election is relatively simple: If you oppose racism and the deepening of divisions in our society because they make Britain weaker not stronger, vote tactically for whichever candidate can block Reform. All other considerations come behind this need. 🗳️

That Welsh by-election is the first election Putin has lost in over 20 years.

All the people who voted in Reform because they wanted big government efficiencies, and more money to be spent on pot holes and improving local services will no doubt be thrilled that their new council is spending £75,000 on, er, flags instead. Absolute clown show. 🤡

Thoughts with the people at the BBC who regard this worthy of an ‘in depth’ piece of analysis on their ‘news’ homepage. The BBC has been completely ruined.

The BBC thinks this worthy of its news homepage, but I’m still not seeing much about Reform’s financial relationship with Russia. If we had a serious media we might not collectively drunkenly stagger from one idiocy to the next.

There should be a law that all far right racists must learn how to spell English words before they can buy an England flag or make a placard, that’ll soon clean the streets up. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

If you are watching the Reform Party controlled Councils with their endless mishaps, resignations, fallouts, scandals, mismanagement and sheer comedic idiocy, but still thinking of making these clowns a national government, representing the UK on the global stage, you are literally insane.

Auto captions on a LinkedIn post I just saw called the President of Egypt ‘Frozen sushi’ and I can’t stop thinking about it.

Always makes me giggle that naive flag shaggers up and down the land fund all this and his many holidays. Utterly gullible fools.

Does this mean the dog shit bin is only for English breeds?

The worst use of quotation marks in the history of human civilisation is in.

Absolutely superb effort by all those who voted for this, many of whom are now dead.

Turns out it was a middle aged white man. Awks.

I’m sure this will be an absolute triumph.

You never did, so someone has to.

Yes, everyone lived in houses like this, although mainly because they had an iron camp bed in the basement for their hour off when not cleaning aristocratic shit out of the bed pans.

Huge respect to Lord Heseltine, stoically turning up, at 92, in that racist sandpit of halfwitted baby freaks, to teach them some history, remind them what an electable Tory party looked like and tolerate inanities that must be insufferable for a political titan of his standing.

Badenoch’s Leader’s speech will actually be a Leaver’s speech. Bye 👋

This is like one of those pics you used to see in the Guinness Book of Records.

Yeah, the approach of saying really stupid things every day will *definitely* eventually pay off, about the same time that hell freezes over.

The Tory strategy seems to be “let’s pretend we are even more unpleasant than Reform”. Apart from that fact it won’t work, it’s pathetic to watch this insincere, hollow posturing. Imagine living in that sort of head. Reform will be beaten from the centre, or not at all.

Israel upping its stellar PR game still further by inviting, er, Tommy Robinson to visit. I can’t think of any entity with poorer communications skills, with the possible exception of the time Eric Pickles objected to being kept from his lunch by the Grenfell Tower inquiry.

It’ll be all white on the night.

There’s more coverage of Lucy Connolly’s inane, incoherent musings on the definition of racism than on Jane Goodall’s lifelong travails for humanity and the planet that sustains it. No wonder we’re fucked.

What a peculiar response to a tragedy from Suella Braverman’s husband. Why are these people so weird.

Well, they’ve stopped one boat. Good job. #ppescandal

You’ll find me over there, on the other side of the street, picking up various internal body parts after I explode with hollow laughter.