FPTP is like The One Ring of politics in the UK. They know they need to destroy it, but once it's in their hands they think "Why shouldn't we keep it? We can use it for good!" and then everything goes dead-Boromir-shaped

Watching middlemarch and unless they've made sweeping changes to this adaptation like removing all the scenes with dinosaurs is it fuck the best book ever.

Scientific tests have proven that Burnham looks 12% sadder than Starmer across a range of tests including pissing in orphans' porridge & removing screws from a safety rail. Observers describe his facial expressions during the trials as approaching 'almost not entirely inhuman' on 3 occasions.

Britain started going to shit when they removed the little chunks of soya from pot noodle.

Man, I wonder why a government actively accelerating a crash that will likely dwarf 2008 might also be introducing draconian laws on protest, ID and juryless trials?

"birth rates are declining" don't care I already got born

Black and white TV is dying. Color TV struggles to be born. This is a time of Munsters.

I'm potentially about to have access to NHS transgender healthcare after 14 years of waiting. Does anyone have a quick run through of what is available to me or is there any kind of resource?

Pick a Bond from the photos you already have in your phone.

The problem with Thatcherism is that eventually you run out of assets to strip

We know now that she fled to another country where she survived and lived to see old age. I'm grateful to know this.

Night of the living Grogu

Watching waterworld and I love how Dennis Hopper just phones it in, safe in the knowledge that he's still upstaging Kevin Costner.

hey john. its your cousin marvin. marvin cage! you know that new sound youve been looking for? well listen to this *hangs up phone*

Stately, plump Richard Herring came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of clickbait on which ignorance and self-regard lay crossed.

Me doing 'how many of these 100 novels have you read' things in the papers

I sometimes feel insane that we don't constantly talk about the time Labour gave a black guy who was poised to unseat Nigel Farage the sack because he was a better poster than Keir Starmer

the first layer of butter on toast or bagel is just the primer. you gotta let that melt into the foundation before applying the real layer of butter.

Evil Bluesky: maybe if “Billie” Eyelash had half the courage of Stephen Colbert we’d have a real democracy Good Bluesky: does Chewbacca wear that metal sash to be fashionable? If so, he knows he’s otherwise naked and doesn’t find that weird and that’s great he should be naked, it’s their problem

Genuinley have know idea why Burnham is supposed to be so good beyond the fact he looks like he might not kick a puppy to death as gleefully as most of the front bench would.

i'm so sick of unrealistic bog body beauty standards. stick-like limbs. parchment skin. perfectly preserved stomache contents. not everyone's bog is that anaerobic ok?!

The patchouli centrist element of the Greens that achieved fuck all when they had the reins should shut up about the tactical choices of the far more effective current party tbh

Youre all spending your time watching awful dickheads infighting and being generally shitty. I on the other hand am sitting down to enjoy watching Rivals, a series about... hang on..wait a minute... fuck you at least mines fictional.

Wes Streeting origin story

Probably cool it with the ‘lol can’t believe Reform let a porn star be a councillor’ takes tho, gang? Sex work should not be a disqualifying factor for taking part in politics. The problem is not his work, it’s the fact that he’s a massive racist.

No you see its not Conversion Therapy its just not allowing you to transition checkmate gender deviants

Historical purity. That’s what we’re talking about.

Burnham is destined to be the true annointed king of labour & if he doesnt win this time he has to keep trying, in as many constituencies as necessary. Even if that means heavyweights like Cooper & Mahmood stepping down. Even if it means the most drawn out and piecemeal general election ever.

Life imitating art but in the age of AI.

Lmao off, watching young offenders and Jock has the same tracksuit as me so whilst I might look like a midlife crisis im at least doing it right.

This is just the level of competent efficency that Labour are operating at and the tankie haters can't cope with it.

Take my quote out of your mouth, war criminal.

Of course the journalist has no understanding of how many people live in hmos in this country.

I for one am really impressed at how they've been increasing our presence on the international stage.

Farage now insisting he is “not and has never been a crook”. Lucky there’s no political history of “I am not a crook” as a line of defence coming back to bite anyone.

Wes Streeting has resigned to spend more time with his true passion which is killing people for their livers so he can return to his 30 year hibernation

Wes Streeting resigning put a spark of joy in my heart and a skip in my mood. Not a word off him about the many people and children he's targeted and abused for selfish career and religious reasons and possibly even money.

Sorry but who gives a fuck? Fuck reform and fuck this guy for being part of them but this shouldn't be a story, its no one else's business and its puritanical bullshit like this that's half the problem with this cursed island.

"let people enjoy things" well i enjoy rigorous cultural criticism how about that

Wes Streeting has resigned to take the job he was born to do…regional sales manager for Moss Bros

Good riddance you bigoted sack of shit, whatever happens may you never hold a position any importance ever again as the full effects of British classicism hit you in your greasy smug face.

Well, that took less than 24 hours, lads. 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

Wife: "How did you sleep?" Me: "Not great, got a lot on my mind" Me at 3.46am:

The whiplash caused by reading left to right here is profound.

They should do a British Disneyland that's based almost entirely on Watership Down.