My lunch is so British it just asked me where I am really from and asked for a pint of stella.

I still puzzle over what they thought my name was.

Can't wait to see the mixture of Four Yorkshiremen and the 20th Anniversary of Skins in 2028…

Millenials are now going all Gen-X on facebook. She totally deserves being labelled cringe by her step daughter.

What level of defective moral character is phone on dark mode, perma silent, and also not answering calls?

Looks like Autumn is back on the menu boys!

First day back at work after 17 days off. Woke up to Clarence knocking over a glass of water and smashing it all over the bedroom. Over 100 emails waiting for me and I have a meeting at 6.30pm this evening.

America - make sure you breed! Pregnant folk - no you can't have paracetamol for that fever, your unborn baby is more important than you, you should have a natural birth at all costs! If you do get seriously unwell you will only be kept alive as an incubator. Your pain isn't that bad.

Tylenol was put into circulation in the US in the 1950s. Famously absolutely no autistic person existed before this date. Case closed 😎🇺🇲 *starts singing the stars and stripes*

Jesus finally returning to earth, catching up with the pope "...

The best response to an alligator being found in Edinburgh. (From FB)

Quote post an unfiltered pic and say your age. The meaning of life! (42)

Back home after a great time - if anyone wants any tips on any of the journeys or has questions, I'm happy to help!

Nothing beats the first cup of tea at home after two weeks abroad

Back home to a very happy Clarence

Scotland's penis welcomes me home 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 ✌️

The final train, number 14 and on the home stretch

The food on eurostar never disappoints.

Train 13!

Train number 12!

Train number 11!

Bonne nuit, Arcachon!

Arcachon est très mignon

That tiara could fully fund the charity I'm on the board of for 4 years. Fuck the royals.

This'll do nicely

Train number 10!

Train number 9!

Train number 8

I'm going to miss this view

Halfway through my rail tour and it's been incredible. I'd highly recommend travelling by train between the UK and mainland Europe. Spain is such a beautiful country.

San Sebastian is AMAZING

This journey is absolutely stunning. Rail travel for the win!

Train number 7!

Train number 6!

Wake up kids, father snackmas has come!

I've heard the word 'tummy' uttered by a grown woman of 43, speaking about herself, approximately 5678 times in the last week and I want to smash my face through a wall.

I think I picked the right time to fuck off on holiday and ignore the news. Went on a bus/train to a thermal springs!

My friend just sent me this collage 🙈

Apropos of nothing, being miserable and whingy on holiday should be a crime✌️

Coffee, Galician style

Train number 5!

Goodnight Madrid, you've been brilliant.

Frog and me, me and frog.

Look at him!!!!

Madrid is very nice

My friend didn't want her photo taken and she didn't realise that holiding your palm up takes selfies. So it resulted in these beauties and also her getting annoyed at me for laughing at her & trying to tell her it's just going to continue until she puts her hand down.

Train number 4!

Hijacked my mate into a late night paddle on Barca beach and the harvest moon is rising.

Affa bonny city

Made it to Barcelona.