Every lifelong football fan I've ever met is like "I think players are supposed to serve their suspension" and every adult convert is like "the Archon of Constantinople's epistle on the Pentacostine rites of the eucharist clearly states handballs are mandatory."

saw a truck for a company called Absolute Chimneys and I can’t stop saying that to myself as if I’m an English soccer announcer calling a free kick that sailed over the crossbar

lmao

YOU’RE LISTENING TO SISYPHUS FM, THE HOME OF NON-STOP ROCK

Guard of Honour for the Champions of England! 🏆🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

this is the most millennial dad joke ever conceived

new favorite edit

🙏❤️🤍

The silver lining here is that they're likely to just as terrible next season and they'll all still be miserable

Take a bow, @tomoc.bsky.social. This is sensational.

LEOOOOOOOOOOO

Chris Kavanagh giving an all time homer performance here

Ref has lost control because he's allowed them to go flying in to challenges without any punishment. They're turning up the temperature as a tactic and he's letting them

Looking forward to seeing which 115 player inherits Bernardo's invisibility cloak next seasom

Distract yourself by just reflecting on the fact that City aren’t very good and they have better opponents to come.

SoFi Stadium workers threaten to strike if ICE isn't banned from World Cup games

Henry VIII turning in his grave right now

This (derogatory) is going to be my abiding memory of what I hope we will get to call "That one Gyokeres Season"

One of my petty bugbears about modern life. Seeing Big Thief tonight at Brixton Academy. Will have my backpack with me after work. The nearest "partner" storage that will be open post 9pm is a mile and a half away in the wrong direction for the train station I need. I can't leave my backpack at work

today once again makes it clear. to win big trophies, you need proven winners who've done it over and over again, like harry kane.

A proper game of football, this one, berween a team that should have wrapped up the title already and another which should have been demoted to League One a long time ago.

I think that as economists we should be a lot more concerned that everyone feels like they've got poorer when the data show they haven't. We certainly shouldn't just be assuming that the customers are wrong, rather than that we're no longer measuring things that are most relevant to wellbeing

Araujo booked for his 3,131st foul over the two legs

The most important player in this squad is Mikel Merino, his versatility and contribution to our ability to regain and retain possession is majorly underrated. Without him, we are lumping the ball up the pitch to a guy who can't control it

“we’re nowhere near the team we were in 23-24” Dawg. Nobody is. Why do you think we’ve seen so many think pieces about dead balls and premier league money and blah blah blah

None of you are going to give a shit about this at the parade.

The worst part about tonight’s result by far? Matt Le Tissier is happy.

[reading a book in first person] i dont remember doing any of this

moby-dick, his eyes enormous: from hell's heart you STAB at moby? for hate's sake you spit your last BREATH at moby? oh! oh! the great shroud of the sea for ahab! the great shroud of the sea rolling on as it rolled five thousand years ago!!!!

Given the time of year I think it will be 5 on the left (plus one sub) 5 on the right (plus one sub) with Jesus in the middle saying that one of them will betray him.

Stoic Kristi Noem Bears Firing With Stiff Upper Lip, Chin, Cheeks, Forehead

Many thanks to Fulham and Man City for their generous donations to the Relegate Tottenham Project.

cramming for this eye exam looking at every fucking thing I can

Unai and absolutely crumbling down the stretch - name a more iconic duo

Every single person in the UK will think this is something else for a split second

That's weird, she just told me that she didn't even race today.

Theo James and the cyclist David Millar

Fuck your ChatGPT, if I want to see a caricature of myself I will make the effort to go to the seaside and pay £15 for a cruel man to give me body dysmorphia like we’ve always done.

Whether it's a Hillary Clinton staffer asking John Podesta how to make risotto or Elon Musk asking Jeffrey Epstein where he could find a party featuring child sex slaves, there's plenty of embarrassing emails on both sides.

The sheer scale of a billion dollars can be hard to understand. Let me put it in perspective for you. You would have to earn a dollar a day for a billion days straight to have that much money.

In times like these, community is all we have. If you’re able, please consider donating to our fundraising efforts to help support our neighbors and friends. Sharing the info to your own communities helps hugely, too! Donate at the link in our bio 🔗!

That paradox of football club ownership is that the first sign of someone being unsuitable to own a football club is them wanting to own a football club.

This is how they played The First of Us

That was a pull back by Semenyo who is on a yellow for the exact same thing

another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls

jeremy strong in the springsteen movie looks like they made an oscar bait minions adaptation

The four wise men gave Jesus gold, frankincense, myrrh and nickel but Jesus gave the nickelback and that guy never made it as a wise man

I’M LOSING MY SHIT THIS IS SO FUNNY