They’re telling me a great empire will be destroyed if I attack Persia. Even the oracles who don’t like me very much, very nasty, they all said to me, “Sir, it’s one of the great empires, and it’ll be destroyed. And all because you attacked Persia.” That’s what they’re telling me.

Given the time of year I think it will be 5 on the left (plus one sub) 5 on the right (plus one sub) with Jesus in the middle saying that one of them will betray him.

Stoic Kristi Noem Bears Firing With Stiff Upper Lip, Chin, Cheeks, Forehead

Many thanks to Fulham and Man City for their generous donations to the Relegate Tottenham Project.

cramming for this eye exam looking at every fucking thing I can

Unai and absolutely crumbling down the stretch - name a more iconic duo

the Labour party trying to paint a picture of why you shouldn't vote Green and it's "everyone will take drugs all the time and also engage in fundamentalist Islam" of course people voted for that, it's Dune. you've invented Dune!

Every single person in the UK will think this is something else for a split second

"is there a technology the left are actually excited about?"

That's weird, she just told me that she didn't even race today.

Theo James and the cyclist David Millar

Fuck your ChatGPT, if I want to see a caricature of myself I will make the effort to go to the seaside and pay £15 for a cruel man to give me body dysmorphia like we’ve always done.

Whether it's a Hillary Clinton staffer asking John Podesta how to make risotto or Elon Musk asking Jeffrey Epstein where he could find a party featuring child sex slaves, there's plenty of embarrassing emails on both sides.

The sheer scale of a billion dollars can be hard to understand. Let me put it in perspective for you. You would have to earn a dollar a day for a billion days straight to have that much money.

The funny thing about a certain type of angry conspiracy guy is that they’re literally being confronted with an elite paedophile ring and a tyrannical government at the same time right now, and because it isn't being done by the people they wanted it to be done by they’re all being pussies about it

In times like these, community is all we have. If you’re able, please consider donating to our fundraising efforts to help support our neighbors and friends. Sharing the info to your own communities helps hugely, too! Donate at the link in our bio 🔗!

That paradox of football club ownership is that the first sign of someone being unsuitable to own a football club is them wanting to own a football club.

This is how they played The First of Us

That was a pull back by Semenyo who is on a yellow for the exact same thing

another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls

jeremy strong in the springsteen movie looks like they made an oscar bait minions adaptation

The four wise men gave Jesus gold, frankincense, myrrh and nickel but Jesus gave the nickelback and that guy never made it as a wise man

I’M LOSING MY SHIT THIS IS SO FUNNY

Snooker is a scam invented by corporations to make you buy more delightful little waistcoats

“Pele…who I assume is one of the greats” says Donald Trump

I realised that, in keeping with his icy persona, a better name for Stone Cold Steve Austin’s finishing move would’ve been “The Frosty Reception”. Probably too late to fix this but I’ve emailed WWE about it anyway

The only thing Neuer should be complaining about is his moustache

Mario Kart: Double Dash contains a bizarre "eternal European pain" glitch whereby being burned when entering a pipe will cause the character to remain in pain indefinitely, but only in the European version.

🏈 TB 32 - 44 BUF FINAL ✅ That's Scorigami!! It's the 1095th unique final score in NFL history.

My last word on the matter

Not sure on these new rule ideas

Is cultural bankruptcy a term yet? www.thedailybeast.com/the-no-1-cou...

This article is a really good explanation of how, on paper, VAR is supposed to work. It is also completely detached from the reality of how VAR works *in practice* www.theguardian.com/football/202...

"The demands of the game stay the same. There's only three things that happen in a game. You've got it. They've got it. And no one's got it." - Dyche 07/01/25

i know it sucks but it must feel a little fun to be that guy with the backhoe destroying the white house. that’s like the final boss of operating heavy machinery

My mistake, you are correct! I generated the file, but I did not give you a download link — let me go get it for you [pretends to walk down stairs behind couch]

A jury of my peers? TWELVE murderers?!

This remains the funniest way to hear about an internet outage, though.

We are thrilled to announce that our NEW Large Language Model will be released on 11.18.25.

Today is a day when arts degrees are worthless, but the product of those degrees is so valuable it would kill an entire industry if they were made to pay for it.

Taylor Swift should write and record more songs about The Simpsons seasons 2-9

GUY WHO JUST CAME BACK FROM DOING THE JABBA'S PALACE COMEDY FESTIVAL: You know, I gotta say they're really great in there, they're just like us. I thought it was only gonna be women in chains and a trapdoor monster they feed slaves to but like, they also have a band that plays cool music.

Immense

Ref is an absolute coward, completely terrified of the crowd. They're being allowed to twat us up in the air and getting calls when we breathe on them

I'm at the end we were defending for that half. Thought Katie Reid was borderline faultless. She has the potential to be the best in the world #awfc

This policy is the ultimate expression of what is wrong with the last three decades of technocratic liberalism. It hands public money to bad private sector actors. It will win over zero of the reactionary voters it is supposed to mollify. It will massively annoy every other voter in the process.