by Alan Saunders in the Cow Tools Sophisticationposting group on facebook

Another fantastic piece on this topic.

A List of Things Said to Have Been Ruined by Women 🧵

The White House posted an insane video of the police arresting the sandwich guy in a safe and wealthy neighborhood.

the sandwich guy walking away from the court house and suddenly, his limp disappears

One time at work we were receiving a $50,000 piece of machinery and the rigging crew knocked it over. I bounced outta that room so fast.

Wondering why no one likes your posts anymore, even among your friends? It's because @jay.bsky.team and team have decided to hide a huge amount of content from all of our feeds by default. Here's how to turn it off. First go to the hamburger menu in the upper left corner

🚨🚨🚨 The jury has reached a verdict. Sean Dunn, aka the DC Sandwich Guy, has been found NOT GUILTY of assault.

This map is highly misleading. In the American electoral system, votes don't influence policy.

Everyone else is doing a crash out thread so I’m joining the fold with this beautifully dramatic nonsense

we can chalk it up to youth and inexperience but the biggest mistake the mamdani campaign made was winning by 8.8% and not 1.5%, which is the margin needed for the media to say it’s a total mandate

Mamdani: "My message to ICE agents & to everyone across this city is that everyone will be held to the same standard of the law. If you violate it, you must be held accountable. There is sadly a sense growing that certain people are allowed to violate that law, whether they be POTUS or ICE agents."

Once more, for old times’ sake

Good things are possible and we don’t have to settle.

NY Post?

Who has the best Zohran crashout screenshots?

UPDATE: No.

2026 Primary Woke Wave

Everybody put cnn on RIGHT NOW

Border Patrol agent Lairmore testifies that he was not injured by the sandwich, but he felt the impact through his ballistic vest. The sandwich came apart and "kind of exploded" on his chest upon impact, he says. "I could smell the onions and mustard."

curious!

i hope this is how you find out about dick cheney

i think they should do it. the government should shut down all air travel. my reasoning is that it would be very funny.

POSIWID

The purpose of a system is what it does. Once you realize that, everything becomes clear.

There is a huge difference between working at your own family business until you cant anymore because its your passion and being forced to be a wage slave for some rich asshole until your body stops moving.

After the AI bubble I hope the next bubble is Laser Tag. Laser tag arenas on every street corner. Blacklight lit battlefields propping up every sector of the economy. A one story building by the side of the highway called “Blast Zone: Pizza & Arcade” valued at $2.7 trillion

please, we are all 30 or 40 years old and we need to go to bed

I told him [...] that I disagreed with most of his beliefs and didn’t align with the future he wanted. Confused, he replied that from his point of view, we actually agreed on most things. No, I said, we didn’t, which he would know if he’d asked me any questions about myself.

Back in my day, AI used to stand for Adobe Illustrator! And we hated that, too!

Waymo: we'll create traffic and kill your cat sfstandard.com/2025/10/28/w...

SCOOP: several days ago Zohran Mamdani was overheard saying he "needs" to eat dinner. An inside source confirmed he had eaten breakfast and lunch that day, giving him an estimated 2+ weeks without additional calories before he might have died from starvation

My favourite of the Cow Tools edits

The real Inglorious Bastards. This story is incredible.

Gary Larson dropping Cow Tools in 1982

A dispatch from SCI Huntingdon in Pennsylvania about the time Luigi Mangione arrived at the prison.

recently discovered that wikipedia volunteers have a hilariously high bar for what constitutes "unusual death"

“Don’t you wish you had a computer you could talk to?” No I absolutely the fuck do not, what is wrong with you.

This video from Portland is a metaphor for what is going on in America. ICE trying so hard to get Americans to cross a line and if they don't, dragging them across the line and violently attacking.

might be one of the funniest videos i’ve ever seen

A very offline cousin sent this to fam group chat. This story is breaking containment.

this is what will happen if mamdani makes bus rides free

Why did Indiana University attack and cut its own student newspaper? Well, in a twist of irony any English professor would call clichéd, it turns out IU did it because they were angry about the students' reporting on a FIRE report naming IU as the worst public university for free speech in the US.

Here's a photo of my friend and colleague, Jorge Bautista, getting shot in the face with a flashbang grenade. The ICE Agent is so afraid of Jorge (who was posing no threat) that he has wet himself. Please share this photo. Everyone needs to know what cowards ICE agents are.

Trump unveils new "mexican coke" that doesn't have a label in spanish.

NBC News finds that: -- ICE has shortened its training from 13 weeks to six. -- Nearly half of recruits couldn’t pass an open-book written exam. -- Recruits "are supposed to attest" they can pass the physical-fitness test, which requires them to run ... 6 mph. www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcn...