Pick a fucking lane, either Andy Burnham is an Amazon leader in waiting who will fix all of our problems, or he's so mediocre we can't be sure he can even win a by-election, so everybody from every other party needs to give him a helping hand (in exchange for [vague hand waving])

When they say celebrity do they mean……

That would be the same Simon Heffer that said, live on LBC, that Jeremy Corbyn wanted to reopen Auschwitz, yes?

*Honking my clown nose* Hey, what’s all the sad faces about, I thought this was a Labour PARTY *slide whistle; old-timey car horn*

You can pinpoint the exact moment the media banded together with rival politicians to turn the hose on him

It’s gonna be so good seeing Matt Goodwin try to eat smack barm pea wet to try and win this seat

Bookmarking this

This genuinely made my heart sink

Banter timeline: Rayner stands, can't get enough nominations because Ed Miliband won't endorse her. He also doesn't have enough nominations so it's Starmer vs Streeting. Polling is accurate and Starmer wins relatively easily. Starmer announces a reset which consists of the same policies again.

Happy one-year anniversary to the craziest sign I've ever seen in the window of a pizza shop

I’m usually very opposed to AI but if this AI Carns that everyone is talking about runs for Labour leader, I can’t see it doing much worse than any of the humans in contention

It’s really unfortunate that every British government’s strategy to improve the economy is just on the verge of working before a war in the Middle East scuppers it, isn’t it

My mate’s on holiday atm and just messaged me to say that his 8 year old son told the lifeguard at the pool this morning that his dad’s a ‘chopped unc’ lmao

Great interview! Nice to hear a Labour MP that actually understands things! 👏

Thanks for your input, Darren

I can cozy up under a blanket to watch Eraserhead or The Shining any time

🤞🏻🤞🏻

“Big” Barry Gardiner is sat behind Starmer in the commons holding a copy of The Fraud lol

This Islamophobic attack happened on Monday night & today is the first I'm coming across it. Correct me if I've missed something, but I can't find any coverage in the national media

‘If you tolerate this your children will be next,’ originally from the Spanish Republicans’ anti-fascist poster created during their campaign against Franco’s Nationalists, of course

Parasite in chief in his idiot hat.

We’re a serious, modern, egalitarian country. Our hereditary king’s crown has its own little cushion

Just about to stick this in the oven for my dinner if any Yanks want to gripe about it

Amazing that this stuff isn't connecting

The Sex With Me Guarantee

Starmer after putting the phone down

“Data supplied by Virgin Game Centre.” They’re called arcades, mate

AND IT HURTS TOO MUCH TO BE WHERE YOU ARE HURTS TOO MUCH TO BE WHERE YOU ARE I’VE GOT THE PERFECT NEIDLE I’VE GOT THE PERFECT NEIDLE FOR YOU

The cast iron rule of British politics is that you can’t call any part of the electorate racist, even if they’re racist. The only exceptions to this rule are anyone that voted for Labour in 2019 and anyone that has voted for the Green Party since September 2025, or will vote for them in future.

If you think about it, when you’re chewing gum, you’re edging your digestive system

Sci-fi writers will be like “What if a winter lasted for decades? What if it was cold for years on end?” and I don’t even have to imagine it because I live in Great Fucking Britain

“I think Keir Starmer is doing a great job and should stay the course”

Not so nice when the shoe’s on the other foot, is it, Keir?

BUILD BAB BETTER!

of course all the chaos is funny and I'm glad that Keir Starmer, a bad person, is having a bad time. but jfc what a waste of two years, what a waste of a majority, what a waste of a once in a generation window to improve things. and now it's just 24/7 infighting, briefing, backstabbing. pathetic

SAY YES TO THE JESS

POV: you’re Vicky Starmer’s bull and the wardrobe has just creaked open

The Rake of Starmocles edges ever closer

Two Labour MPs should’ve withdrawn their calls for him to resign so every kid in the country would go feral at the news

I’m done with Jacob Rees-Mogging. Now’s the time for Jacob Rees-Maxxing

in a furious monologue delivered over bitcrushed hyperpop, Keir Starmer has laid out his intention to regain his lost "aura". he has pledged "a decade of national policymaxxing". the former DPP was heard to say that he will "serve mogg" and that Reform and the Greens are "two sides of the same cuck"

It Wasn’t Me by Shaggy

Could they tax the large online retailers more and invest it in town centres though? Is that not an option?

Sorry, why do I have to wear a tie to work when I’m an office peon but the literal prime minister of the country can address the nation looking like he’s just got in late from after-work drinks?