Bluesky has drafts now? That’s nothing, my flat has had drafts for YEARS

Keir Starmer won a landslide election victory and for some reason decided to immediately begin sowing the seeds of his own demise before doing anything else. Forensic? Forensic!

Close enough, welcome back dril

Every TV betting advert: CAREFUL, GAMBLING CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE.................DO IT THOUGH

I was expecting this tbf

Sheer Drama with Keir Starmer

Funny that they always neglect to mention that "worst defeat in history" earned, what, half a million more votes than Starmer's landslide victory

This is AI right? I hate to be That Guy, but the DeLorean in the background makes me suspicious given how few there are in existence

I couldn’t even bring myself to watch the Superbowl last night. Because American football is boring and crap

Cody Gakpoo Cody Cackpo Cody Cackpoo

MorGONE McSweeney 😎

Clement Attlee inherited a country that had been ravaged fighting World War II yet less than 36 months into his term as Prime Minister, the NHS was founded. Starmer could do great things with the resources he has. There’s just no political will to do so in the Labour Party anymore

Potentially controversial opinion, but I absolutely believe that talent should function as a gatekeeping mechanism when it comes to creating art. What shouldn’t function as a gatekeeping mechanism is having the resources to hone that talent. That’s why I’m banging the drum for UBI rather than AI

I’ve not clicked the article yet but I’m gonna guess it’s by scoring a decent amount of goals?

Barney Ronay is terrible in a lot of ways, but I find my animosity towards him is exacerbated by the fact he’s deliberately chosen a profile picture that looks like he’s watching his own face on a Microsoft Teams call

The new Kermit voice is so jarring. Sounds nothing like him and it makes me sad

Pollster: “Do you think Keir Starmer should resign?” Me: “God yes; he’s an absolute shower of shite, a useless tosser.” Pollster: “So you think he’s to blame for the Mandelson situation?” Me: “What Mandelson situation?”

This is how it feels showing a meme you made to your partner (who isn’t terminally online)

Me, half-cut, spotting myself on camera at the self-checkout in Asda

I don’t know about you, but I think it’s nice to have a new prime minister every 2 to 3 years. Keeps things fresh 😊

How did the Gentlemen from Buffy the Vampire Slayer get hold of my email?

Labour members: it’s time

losing my mind at this photo, it's literally the 'my t-shirt' meme

Having to put my sunglasses on because of the blinder he’s played here

🎶 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song 🎶

I can’t express strongly enough how little I give a fuck about ‘passing on my genes’

anyway, listen to @bloodwork.show

Yes, because if there’s one thing we know about the Labour party, it’s that its MPs always commit to whatever its members demand

OPEN THE SCHOOLS

Do they actually believe we’re this stupid?

starmer is hilarious: Mandelson can only be removed from Lords by an Act of Parliament, so you can see why, as Prime Minister, there is nothing I can do

Labour defined its enemy a long time ago

Imagine priding yourself on being an iconoclast, a brave truth-teller and free-thinker, and then finding out you’d been manipulated into holding those beliefs by the world’s most notorious paedophile. Embarrassing

The sooner I go to bed, the sooner I have to wake up and go to work. And I’ll be godDAMNED if I let that happen

*ahem* Tronald Dump

Check out these absolute units

tfw you have two Sunday dinners in one day

“You haven’t smoked 20 cigarettes a day for 20 years? Polanski, you BORING BASTARD”

Bourbons are so overrated it’s ridiculous. Dry, dull, not nearly chocolatey enough

I thought you were great in that iconic scene from Scanners but this ain’t an argument I can get behind, Mark

Learning without a modicum of shock that the BBC gave a platform to this guy

From: Elon Musk To: Jeffrey Epstein <[email protected]> Sent: 12/18/2019 10:15:43 I’m begginning to suspect theres another group chat From: Jeffrey Epstein <[email protected]> To: Elon Musk Sent: 12/18/2019 14:32:34 U r being para noid my friemd

You: using a VPN to watch a video of two consenting adults having sex Rich people: emailing each other on an unsecured server about the sex crimes they’re planning to commit together

‘Increasingly influential online communities […] can radicalise even suburban pensioners.’ EVEN suburban pensioners. EVEN. As if that group is not the most likely to be radicalised

I’m begging someone from the DOJ to read up on the Streisand Effect

Catherine O’Hara changed the way I say ‘the baby’ forever, and for that, I’ll always be grateful to her