I’ve never seen an episode of 60 Minutes. I’m not even fully sure what 60 Minutes is. But I’m going to watch the accidental leak of the episode that Bari Weiss spiked just to find out why she did it

I’m a relatively minor celebrity who you will no doubt recognise from off the telly, but Omaze has taken my family hostage until I tell you about this incredible house that YOU could win

I call this Yule Brinner

Honestly, I kind of love that Paddington has become the British version of the Grim Reaper

What do you expect when this is Labour’s whole strategy

This is what they call Father Christmas in Germany

You can take the girl out of the KKK but you can't take the KKK out of the girl. If you did you'd get Eria Ir

Great T-shirt you’ve got there, buddy

I saw the first Avatar in the cinemas like everyone else, with the 3D glasses on. I thought the whole thing was an animated film until someone later told me it was a mix of live action and animation. That was how I found out I needed glasses

Nominative determinism strikes again

Mildly delightful that two of the episodes of Ghost Stories for Christmas read by Christopher Lee were directed by someone called Eleanor Yule

An absolutely magnificent Freudian slip! 🤌🏼

Hey Paul! Just an email to ask you if you could review this item that you quite obviously bought for someone else as a Christmas gift!

Nigel Farage and Dr. Jeevun Sandher MP have something in common: they both have circulatory systems. This discredits Labour.

Imagine how damaging this would be if anyone still used Facebook

Imagine living in Britain,where pretty much every major institution has been culpable in a historic sexual abuse scandal, and believing its the foreign cultures that are a danger to women and girls

I’m sorry, but this is utter bollocks from Katie Lam. If Britain culture is truly built on the belief ‘that women are equal to men with personal, bodily and sexual autonomy’ there wouldn’t need to be specific measures taken to tackle misogyny in schools, would there?

Labour have lost 8%. The Greens have gained 9% while Reform has only gained 3%. The only reason you could have for looking at these numbers and choosing to fight Reform from the right is because you are wedded to right-wing ideology.

Starmer’s had more reset moments than my Sega Mega Drive did through the whole of the 90s

Donald Trump could have gone down in history as the Greatest Poster of all time, but he didn’t have the ambition for it. He set his sights too low and now all anyone will remember him for is being another shitty president in a long line of shitty presidents

I do not want them on my feed I do not want them, no indeed I do not want them here, Bluesky I do not want them; please don't try. I do not want them - are you pissed? Do not import my contacts list.

🎶 ARE YA HANGING UP YER COCK UPON YER BALLS 🎶

Who’s been arguing that life in Britain has been anything other than crap since at least 1979?

This is the same newspaper that is trying to convince you its transphobic content is really rooted in a profound concern for the interests of women btw

It saddens me to say that I’m sure we’ll see an incident like this again, as more people with unnecessarily enormous vehicles succumb to car-brain

It’s also hard to combat the right when you’re more interested in punching left at every opportunity you get, so there’s things we could all do better

It’s classic American media to give the president an undeserved opportunity to row back on a statement they made, and it’s classic Trump to instead use that opportunity to double down on the statement

It’s a testament to how good Rob Reiner was that the MAGA crowd are siding with him over Trump

Just spotted your boyfriend’s Christmas Day outfit

I’m no political strategist, but if Labour are serious about not losing the next election to Reform, its senior ministers could probably do with offering some opposition when given the opportunity

The final boss of horseshoe theory dipshits

“Liberal” media organisation. This is what eating too much wild boar cooked in foetid kitchens does to your brain

Nothing says ‘psyop’ like someone proclaiming their leftist politics is what precludes them from celebrating a racist losing their job for being racist, and claiming those that are celebrating are on the side of the big multinational corporation

I’ll wait for Hadley Freeman’s column about this before I reach a conclusion

Have we tried telling the regular plebs they need to tighten their belts because there’s no way you’re going to tax vast sums of idle wealth? I hear that could work wonders

I know somewhere that might need them

“Mum, dad, I got the job as the Guardian’s Scotland correspondent!” “That’s wonderful! And what kinds of things will you be reporting on?” “Almost exclusively about trans people!”

I’m unreasonably angry that Blue Prince appears nowhere on this list