Reform win a seat: The true Volk have spoken and we all must listen. Greens win a seat: Early reports that Muslims may have ‘voted’ (an ancient Islamic practice designed to steal elections). How severely should the franchise be limited in response?

Scrolling instagram and stumbling on a photo that makes you want to commit violent crime

This bird knows it’s serving LOOKS

Clown show.

They can use the money they saved on tax to buy flights home

Complicity in the slaughter of thousands upon thousands of Palestinians hasn’t sated the bloodlust and has spied an opportunity to be involved in killing even more. Reprehensible, evil little man

Very very strong “it is 2002 and Labour briefcase people are talking absolute shite to justify invading Iraq” vibes here

“The children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe; and I am beginning to suspect that whoever is incapable of recognizing this may be incapable of morality.” — James Baldwin.

Could not give ONE TINY LITTLE SHIT about Brit ‘influencers’ in Dubai, fuck off

This is a very bizarre statement from Unite’s General Secretary for two reasons. 1) I simply do not believe that the Labour government failing to support the manufacturing of military helicopters in Yeovil was a deciding factor for people voting Green in Gorton & Denton.

Found one of the of the letters my pal used to send us when she worked at (redacted) council. She had fuck all work to do so she used to write to us all on headed paper either making vague threats about the non-payment of made up fines or telling us the council was naming new streets after us

"The Islamists oppose women getting an education," I mutter, as I aim my missile at the girls school

This is genuinely very funny. Scrabbling around looking for someone, anyone, to blame for his own mistakes Starmer alights on the guy whose last appearance in the national consciousness was when he was dressed as a cat on a reality tv show

Man’s a born Poster you have to admit

Actually I would vote for a drug-pushing tit hypnotist why wouldn’t you?

RIP to a real one

hello, where do i pick up my big tits and heroin?

‘hi, grandma? can u come pick me up from my rap battle? it's over. no, i lost. he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it’

Gonna sign up to do some leafleting for the Green Party you know. I might not vote myself but other people do, and they should vote Green (especially where I live - in Starmer’s constituency - where our Labour councillors are as atrocious as our MP)

Reckon we could get Starmer to enact this classic from fellow massive racist loser Matt Goodwin

Needs to be really clear that Labour did this to themselves. If they’d stood Burnham, they could have won - albeit on a much reduced majority - and would have been able to say LOOK PEOPLE STILL WANT US. But everything Starmer touches turns to shit so of course they didn’t do that, & here we are now

Relaunch 306, bay-bee!

Need to see lots of photos of briefcase people looking sad

Today I learned that sectarianism is when Muslims vote for a party led by a gay Jew.

Stunning, 10/10

Found myself looking up the Your Party CEC results and then I thought hang on why are you doing that, you do not care

I believe that the death of Tony Blair will be a huge positive for the safety and happiness of the global population, and nothing anybody says will convince me otherwise

Can’t tell you how delighted I am about this. Obviously it’s good news in and of itself but it’s also just the perfect example of how fucked Labour are, and their absolute ignorance of why people hate them and are looking at the Green Party

He says this as though he doesn’t live in Camden where any drug you want is readily available for you. Only thing is that because it’s illegal it’s cut with all sorts of stuff - if drugs were decriminalised and regulated, it would he safer

Hello Katie Curtis MP I am reminding you that lots of people don’t even have a fucking front room because landlords turn them into an additional bedroom from which to extract rental ‘income’. Labour had had two years to even make a start fixing how fucked housing is in the UK & has done NOTHING

I like this but I’d have preferred Dear Lucy Powell, Fuck Off.

Arrested on his birthday lol

If you wouldn't lift the bar then you are not fit to be Prime Minister of Great Britain.

Done sick

Few things baffle me as much as the continued popularity of Madame Tussaud’s. Going past it on the bus now and people are queuing round the block, to be allowed the opportunity to spend just shy of £30 a head to look at wax models of celebrities. Why?

I cannot think of anything more likely to make me lose my grip on reality than to have an AI talking to me in the persona of my dead loved one when I am already deep in grief

Almost embarrassing how much of a difference a bit of sun today has made to my mental health

Happy Valentine’s Day I’m in the garden cleaning up fox shit

notice how when the rest of us talk about eg crumbling schools, failing infrastructure, poverty etc on these islands we get accused of TALKING DOWN THE UK but when these ridiculous pricks come out with absolute nonsense like this about London that’s apparently Accurate and Good

“I’m a motorist”

Dummies think that the industrial revolution was a series of engineering advances that should be celebrated. Smart kids know that the industrial revolution was a set of shifts in the relationships between human beings, which intensified exploitation & poverty to increase private wealth.

Normally when we say that someone looks like a boiled egg we mean it negatively but I’ve just looked someone up and he looks like a boiled egg (complimentary)

What must it be like, I wonder, to have a head so empty that the thoughts simply rattle around, wholly unencumbered by any connection with each other. I bet it’s nice

fun fact: the big air snowboarding ramp at the winter olympics is only 5° steeper than the cheese rolling hill.

I know we’re not supposed to judge people by their appearance but instead on their actions & their politics etc but I really fucking hate the McShitter’s face

I feel like this about discus. I’ve never trained & my upper body strength is dogshit but I just *know* I’d be superb at it

I think at this point it’s worth remembering that we are not even 2 years in to the first Labour government in 14 years, with nearly 2/3rds of all MPs being from the party of that government. It could have been so easy, but the extent to which they have comprehensively fucked it is just staggering

boo hoo some of us might have to resign from our big boy briefcase jobs that we ruined other people's lives to get because the evil wishes genie we wished on that we knew was evil got found out cry me a river and then go drown yourself in it

OK which of you set this up

it really boils down to who do you hate more, rich sex abusers or the left, and I’m afraid that from Thatcher to Starmer we’ve been run by people for whom the answer to that question is “the left”