this is so fucking funny. they put him in the black hole sun music video

Sending up the @shutdownfullcast.bsky.social Bat-Signal for this

Had a dream we cut off every oligarch’s head. Things got better.

Absolute Filth. Should be illegal* *Connor McDavid

An Beer

I am never going to die

not how I spell that word, but

Day trip yesterday 3hrz south to Athens OH with the girls. Bought some paw paw trees and a persimmon tree for the backyard. 12/10 would recommend. Come over for paw paws in 2-4 years and persimmons next year.

“Solo Dad Dinner” Wife is in Scotland so I made homemade beef ‘n’ cheddar sandwiches for dinner tonight

The outfit is so damn good here, too. That new JLC Reverso is so sick.

Please don't put in the newspaper that 28 children laughed at me

Dear EA, if the amount of $$ you made off the return of CFB didn't make you realize it, heres the sign that if you remade this with updated graphics and changed nothing else, you would make a fortune. Or just release this as mobile/tablet game

I guess I need to finally write “How many beers could each Batman character drink in a day”

who called it woke pope and not Opus DEI

CM Pope

Can't spell pope without ope

so the Pope is with the Dalai Lama on a nondenominational world peace tour & they stop in Chicago. The pope takes the Lama to his favorite hot dog stand, says, you gotta try it, this guy's the best. the guy says "What can I getcha, Your Holiness?" & the Dalai Lama says "Make me one with everything."

Look I get performatively not caring about the new pope, I do. But I want you to consider two things: 1) there is now a nonzero chance JD Vance gets excommunicated 2) think about what must’ve happened to his face between hearing “there’s an American pope” and “it’s the one that hates you”

[butt rock plays, cut off by sound of bear growling] YOU'RE LISTENING TO MIKEY AND THE POPE IN THE MORNING [m-m-MORNING] here to give you all the bears talk you need on your commute [whistle blows, QB says hike, gregorian chanting] now here's mikey and our heavenly father, LIVE from lakeview

The worst people in the world are mad.

Pope Leo, you say?

They'll never admit it, but I bet the Conclave's final vote wasn't even close. Probably 25 or 6 to 4

*taps microphone* *speaking way too close so it reverberates* Papal Bulls

Does the Eucharist come “dragged through the garden” now?

The adult converts are furious, never listen to adult converts

“And Jesus said to his disciples, take this and eat it. It’s Pequods, and it’s got little charred bits on the end that are so good.”

“Take and eat; this is my body.” - The Ueckarist

Hey, lookit that! Fat Heads won some more medals at World Beer Cup this year. Gold for Battle Axe Baltic Porter Gold for Apres Hefe Bernsteinfarbenweizen Silver for Alpenglow Weizenbock 🥳🎉🥳

Browns

The haters are in shambles

Exqueeze me? A-baking powder? 5000+ PEOPLE?!

Amazing things can happen when you get up in the morning and keep doing the work of punching the ocean in the motherfucking face

Saving this for the next time someone wants to talk shit on here about sports taking over their feed.

Fun data point, we didn’t use Twitter once and raised more money than ever this year

FIX YOUR HEART OR DIE @newap-georgia.bsky.social @protecttranskids.university @hollyanderson.bsky.social @edsbs.bsky.social #CharitibundiBowl

I choked on my drink. This is art.

It is 2002. I am 18 years old. We are in a once-in-a-generation economic crisis. It is 2008. I am 24 years old. We are in a once-in-a-generation economic crisis. It is 2020. I am 36 years old. We are in a once-in-a-generation economic crisis. It is 2025. I am 41 years old. We are in a—

I’m doing my part! @shutdownfullcast.bsky.social @homefield.bsky.social

My wife is going to Scotland with her mom in a few weeks. Much like my family, hers is White Trash™️. She (my Mother in Law) only drinks Budweiser or coffee or water. Here’s my issue: I’m VERY worried she will discover Buckfast….

Okay, this is my newest very very favorite meme.

And right now on trans rights, we're at the line in the sand already. We're at the start of the race, not the end. So no, we are not entertaining going backwards.

As somebody that loves nuance and context, one of the things that drives me most nuts about these debates is that there are some important policy edges that are worthy of discussion but we cannot have them until we've broadly established the hard line in the sand

Solo dadding tonight. Which means breakfast for dinner, lots of treats, and looney tunes/tom and Jerry.