@specter177.bsky.social new gig?

Nothing could possibly go wrong here, right?

Leave work at four. Pickup 5yo at 4:30. Reading tutor 5:15 - 5:30. End of season hockey party 6-8. The next 14 years of my life I’m guessing.

Welp, guess it’s time to brush up on my “dry heat” talking points.

Three. Day. Week.

Love being able to hear the disappointment in your moms voice on Mother’s Day when you tell her y’all won’t be able to take a day trip when she’s visiting because your workplace might be the center of an international, geopolitical conflict at any moment so you have to stay in town that week.

Take it from someone who is ALL ELBOWS, you can’t hide an elbow when you’re built like that.

Notice: if Tennessee makes the tournament while Vandy & LSU both miss it I will be insufferable for a couple hours. @sizemo.bsky.social you’re invited to the party.

Having now witnessed one (1) Roch Cholowsky, OVER. RATED.

That’s a nice top-5 baseball team you have there fake ut. Be a shame if they lost a series at Real UT.

Mrs. NPF made a “congrats on being a mom” cake for Mothers Day.

I gave you cookie, you gave me cookie! Gave me cookie, got you cookie!

I’ve watched Justin Pearson call that state trooper “BOY”, with the hardest B you’ve ever heard, countless times and it makes me giggle like Nick Offerman every time. Pure joy.

Playing race the gummie and first thing I saw after eating said gummie was the bed with folded like of clean sheets waiting to be put on. Could’ve been real bad.

Time to get started on Mother’s Day dinner.

Do you hate your job? It could always be worse. You could be a Meta Comms employee having to defend your employer on Bluesky.

Big sandwich* for lunch *burrito edition.

If you need a morale boost I suggest looking into the current Hawaiin monk seal story.

His dinosaur/prehistoric animals show on Apple TV is A+.

Sitting in the kids reading tutor and overhearing someone else getting math tutoring is giving me ptsd flashbacks to algebra.

Your morning moment of zen

Good news guys, we’re running back 2020.

I should call her

Heloplanes? Plancopter?

Oldest nephew got inducted in national honor society. Forgot to tell his parents, almost overslept the ceremony, only made it because his friends woke him up. Dudes rock.

@colewagoner.bsky.social shotgun time

There’s the whole *waves hands at everything* of this but there’s also the fact that FIFA still hasn’t released all the tickets yet and hotels are usually the last thing people book in the tickets > visas > flights > hotels order of operations.

Too many of you to even try and tag but whichever of the commentariat are living in Tucson, say hi.

Anybody know if these bonuses are structured like the ICE ones, where they only pay out after like 5 years?

sound on for a possible all-time “keep a terminally online person on staff” www.instagram.com/reel/DXzkwYO...

Random Monday off means weird movie time.

At the mega-Walmart for tires this morning. Wonder what magic I can find bumming around killing time.

Someone who works with Gen Z & younger, please ask them what “be kind, please rewind” means.

You could argue Rick Barnes has adapted to the changes in college sports better than any long time coach, across all sports.

Hell yeah 5yo wanted me to do bedtime tonight.

When a small child hands you a pretend phone do you only have one side of the conversation or do you play both roles, one just in your head, in order to carry a conversation?

Folks, we officially opened a “start looking at big sectionals” tab on the phone. Gonna need to save up for about 6 months based on early results.

The rule of big cheeseburger also applies to pancakes. Wider not taller.

With great power* comes great responsibility** *free access to candy **gotta clean up the wrappers.

Kentucky

Pool toad is back. I know this because Mrs. NPF just ran into the room smiling like a psycho with a headlamp on and proclaimed “TOADS BACK!”

Knowing your “the mark” in any sport has to be awful but I feel like the NBA might be the worst for that.

Stumbled across a new “what would throw money away on if you were a billionaire” in the group chat. We’re reviving VH1 folks.

This dude trying to steal @mondilator.bsky.social’s Apple Watch bit.

When Rhythm Nation defunds its DEI office.

I have been made aware of Tiny Vinyl from Target so now you all must suffer with me as well.

Oh shit, Crockett dropped a surprise album.

DED

Was there a gas station in this zone that would let us fill up empty 20oz bottles with gas? What are you, a cop?!