I had a team with Charles Barkley, LaMelo Ball and Ja Morant. Chuck would’ve killed someone.

I went 81-1 on spin 2 and have been playing for the last 45 minutes not doing anything close since. It gets ya.

Got much better throughout the day. Decided to walk. Got an allergy attack at mile 6 of 6.5. Just laid down in a dark cool room. See you Wednesday.

reading body language

What’s better than the anxiety of trying to get everything done before leaving on vacation at the end of the week? Waking up sicker than shit to kick it off.

Gonna have one drink tonight

Did I drink too much last night and order a leatherman and *two* pocket knives? No. Who would do that

Followed mom’s pepperoni bread recipe step for step so I’m scratching my head where the “make a giant dong” was on the recipe because I don’t recall seeing it.

“I’m not a scene kid anymore, I swear!” I yell as I buy tickets to a Papa Roach, Silverstein and Story of the Year bill

I regret to inform you the non dong version is perfect.

Followed mom’s pepperoni bread recipe step for step so I’m scratching my head where the “make a giant dong” was on the recipe because I don’t recall seeing it.

Step one

I have been so productive today and now I’m about to put a screeching halt to that with booze and pasta.

New fear just dropped: being told to meet someone at this sculpture and not being able to find it

Fortuitous timing to learn a local butcher does 4 bones and two sides for $8 on Fridays.

What’s for lunch today fuckos

This dog is a fuckin menace

This is a dismal time to discover I don’t have Allegra or Excedrin

A cheetah ribeye

Woweee are the allergies allergy-in tonight. Sneezed myself into a migraine

My heart when it realizes I’m about to surpass the daily recommended caffeine amount before 10 am

Well guess I’m spending $130 on legos soon

She’s very proud of her toy. Please tell her how nice it is

My graduating class was one of the school’s largest in a decade at 96.

I have the ideal side gig shift today. 4-8:30. Get the whole day to do stuff beforehand then plenty of night left when I’m done.

Please look at the first name on this graduation program.

Did ciabatta. No ragrets

Folks I have a conundrum. Do I put my breakfast food in a tortilla or on a bun

What fuckin Popeyes are these guys going to

I am still getting emails about stuff needing changed asap when it has existed for years as is.

This has been an absolute nightmare of a Friday so far but I realized it’s because all the students are gone so the busybodies need somewhere to focus their attention.

Not one but two urgent Teams meetings before 10 am on a Friday. Both because someone signed off on something without checking with their superior.

I am enjoying off campus

Memorial Day plans

Ah yes I figured we’d get there eventually.

Runza Bidet is just something you need after eating a runza

Imagine explaining this headline to someone from any other country

One of those hard swallows that feels like your chest is about to cave in really ruins a few minutes of a day

“YouTube trick shot golfer”

It was…fine. I don’t understand how the acting in these movies is so consistently bad. But the story and fights/settings were very game-oriented and I enjoyed that.

Buying a last second ticket to Mortal Kombat because I’m not NOT going to see what Karl Urban does with Johnny Cage.

I have a feeling this case of the rumble stomachs is going to make my usual 5-6 miles very interesting.

has this made it to the Sports App, Bluesky, yet? I’ve been laughing for hours.

Something something straying from God’s light

The Trader Joe’s cold brew concentrate has no measuring instructions other than “2 parts coffee to one part water” and whoops I’m time traveling now

I was closing down the bar when the sirens went off. Everyone was out thankfully, so I poured a hearty glass of four roses and headed to the basement.

Oh, sirens!