“Brace yourself!” - lazy dentist

A reminder on International Dog Day. When painting a dog, always begin by applying a thin layer of underdog.

Well deserved! Congratulations @samnicoresti.bsky.social Hope we can still afford you!

“You’re early” - me meeting an earl

Matt Green is a very funny man, you should go see him!

TONIGHT! It's our only July show and it's a doozy! Still time to reserve advance discount tix at poodleclub.co.uk

Another day, another revelation…

Ghosts were people who lost the will to live and died trying to fold fitted sheets

Catholic? I like cats but wouldn’t say I have a problem

Hey @channel4.bsky.social Why have you suddenly removed 'Servant of the People' from your streaming service? #Ukraine #Zelensky We were enjoying that!

New episode of The Breakup Monologues! Recorded live @poodleclub.bsky.social with @thatkatemartin.bsky.social & Nicola Dinan Listen at all good podcast platforms or via podfollow.com/breakupmonologues 🎧 With thanks to @kirkdalebooks.bsky.social - go and buy The Breakup Monologues book there 📚 🙌

Matt Green is on our stage this Saturday! Still a few tix left at poodleclub.co.uk

Happy Galentine’s Day! The Breakup Monologues begins recording a new season tonight @poodleclub.bsky.social with @thatkatemartin.bsky.social @hattyashdown.bsky.social @juliecohen.bsky.social & Nicola Dinan. Please come. Enjoy this clip from our archives in the meantime. 89 episodes avail 🎧👂

Got to love a venue called The Poodle Club @poodleclub.bsky.social. Going this Thursday to see comedian and podcaster @rosiewilby record a live show. Tickets: wegottickets.com/event/644852 #breakup #breakupmonologues #comedy

Just 6 tickets left for tonight! @hannahwarman.bsky.social @se26.social.brainsys.com.ap.brid.gy wegottickets.com/event/642222

I always assumed Billy Idol was a TV contest to find the best goat.

LAST FEW TICKETS REMAINING: www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/ath...

Just 4 tickets left for Saturday. If you're thinking of coming, better get your skates on! wegottickets.com/event/642193

Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony. However, eating too much pie is okay because the sin of π is always zero

I've just taken a pole and apparently 74% of builders don't like their scaffolding being tampered with.

Woah oh oh Tainted Glove

Save the date - Friday 14th Feb ❤️ 💃 🎰

Hate it when you try to buy a box of Sun-Maid raisins but accidentally purchase Chairman Mao's Little Red Book.

SIMPLY HAVING A

What a glorious show we have for you tonight - just 9 tickets left so get your skates on! @aliceindiacomedy.bsky.social @drucripps.bsky.social @se26.social.brainsys.com.ap.brid.gy wegottickets.com/event/636813

If anyone wants to see me balance foot long sandwiches on top of each other - subscribe to my sub stack

The collective name for commas is a chamber

They were all out of Dreadlock Pasta

in england, they don't say i'll kick your ass, they say i'll see you on the

"My dog does magic tricks." "Really? What breed is he?" "He's a labracadabrador."

To be fair she does look like a chicken.

🎶 She wore an Itsy bitsy teeny weeny…

It was the Busta Rhymes It was the Wusta Rhymes

Doctor: You have the same disease as the girl in Airplane Me: Oh God what is it? Doctor: A movie with Leslie Nielsen but that's not important right now

Christmas #1 right here

The most fragrant of all the popes was Pope Pourri.

Hi everyone! We've just joined Bluesky and can't wait to see what you all are up to here. In the mean time, get a load of our gorgeous line-up for tonight's show! #livecomedy #SouthLondon #Sold0ut