I love when train companies are like "thank you for travelling with [company]" girl we both know I didn't have a choice, its this or a 10hr coach

Keeping things in your phone case is intangible cultural heritage

FOOD ALRIGHT IF YOU LIKE STODGE & CUSTARD. MY HAIRDRYER IS REFUSING TO COOPERATE. DOING LOTS OF PSYCHOLOGICAL EXPERIMENTS.

Pilot over the intercom: uhhhhhhh we are all just flesh. We exist so briefly.

This is what those fluffy moths would look like without wings

I love when my landlady hides my cheap stuff in cupboards because it interferes with her aesthetic

Rip to every fucker on spareroom but I'm built different

If I had a room to let on a website for letting rooms I would simply reply to my messages about the room so I could let the room

frankly it’s misogynistic that the lady scream that’s in a ton of horror movies doesn’t have a name like the Wilhelm Scream

I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate renting I hate ren

This heat is not helping my "What if I smell really bad all the time and everyone's just being polite about it" paranoia

listen, I like the guy but this is unacceptable

Yeah i like dune part 2. dune part 2 my hair with a comb

if you ever get by a venomous snake just bite it back and the venom will go through your body and back into the snake killing it

It's genuinely a skill issue

It hurts how bad people are at spotting AI, "oh but its so realistic now" everything is too smooth and symmetrical and brightly coloured please go outside and look at real objects and people

Be it minecraft? Or thinecraft?

Who up hotboxing they hive

Paramilitary groups are called that because they have a parasocial relationship with the military

Went back on tiktok but forgot about the absolute plague of "Wait I don't get it can someone please educate me 🥺" comments on the most obvious or googleable thing you've ever seen

Goobernatorial

Holy shit

Saw an ad for an £800pcm "flat" with "shared bathroom and no access to a kitchen" I'm so tired

raise your hand if you're not in NYC but you're following the mayoral election out of a desperate need to believe that good things are possible

Jealous of new York you'll have to let us know what it's like when someone who cares is in charge

The most big brain idea I ever had was if you're having burgers for dinner you can just make an extra one, wrap it up and bring it to work for lunch the next day because its basically just a sandwich

J.K. Rowling is a menace to society whose anti-trans rhetoric is violent and encourages offline violence. Her telling people to take pictures of suspected trans women in bathrooms and disseminate them is sexual harassment. And it puts everyone in the women’s bathroom in danger.

solidarity with palestine action

Save me smosh games playlist

Lmao got an email saying my x account was suspended and I was confused because I was pretty sure I deleted it. Forgot I changed my name to Elon Musk Parody before I left, very funny that they've only just got around to it

It's fine if your massive suitcase is heavy and you need to walk slowly, but if you're in a herd of suitcase people, simply don't walk three abreast blocking a corridor and slowing down everyone behind you? is this not common sense?

The simple task of being in charge of a suitcase removes any spatial and social awareness that a person ever had

Oh man it's idiots with suitcases season at all major transport hubs

My most unpopular fantasy opinion is that I think authors who do this sort of thing should be blackballed at minimum

I thought people were joking about the 'making new friends as an adult' thing but it do be quite hard

Someone's replaced my bones and brain with rocks and I don't want to do anything or be anywhere

Blueberries today

It's actually so hard to have a mild identity crisis and want to do the equivalent of getting a dramatic haircut about it but the dramatic haircut I want is longer than the hair I have so I have to just anticlimactically grow it out

This is my landlady doing this btw I pay for this experience

Yesterday the sink drain was full of omelette, I unblocked it (gross) and carried on with my day. This morning the sink drain was full of rice, I unblocked it (gross) and then carried on with my day. This evening the sink drain was full of orzo, I unblocked it (gross) and then carried on wi-

Went for a run and now I have strava I'm so cooked

Ew I think my brain just did the mid 20s software update that makes you want to go running

I wish UK museums would grow spines and stop AI generating shitty colouring books for their gift shops

About to start DMing for my friends and I'm thinking about introducing an unethical aaracokra merchant called T. Emu that sells everything for crazy cheap but it all breaks after one use

It was the secret third option: housemate often just accidentally leaves it open all day

Working in a uni and overhearing students saying "yeah I just chatgpt-ed it" really pisses me off as someone who actually did all my own work for my degrees. Why are you paying to be here if you don't want to do it?