Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees https://theonion.com/swollen-rfk-jr-warns-americans-not-eating-enough-bees/

There aren't many jobs in the archive sector, but there are a lot of people studying to become archivists. This has led to the development of the combination Archivist/Ronin, a wandering historian bound to no daimyo or record office

It’s ominous, thinks I.

turbulence is name of ambulance but for turtles

Windows needed urgently! "Four of this type exactly. Exactly! But hurry, hurry, by tomorrow!" The writer provided a helpful diagram - notice the little man with his arms up denoting height! Egyptian hieratic script on a pot shard, c.1200 BC 📸 Me #FindsFriday #archaeology🏺

The kardashians too but they all figured out the divorced bit

The women from secret lives of mormon wives are so fascinating to me because every episode they're all like "I need to do what's best for me" and none of them ever realise what would be best for them is to stop being on a reality show and divorce their shitty husbands

“did you know they sent folks to the moon today?” me:

Got a job I'll be back again when I'm unemployed

speak loudly and ask if you can borrow somebody else’s stick

I could write an essay about how insane all these tiktok mums get about the aesthetics of 'sensory bins' why have I just seen a woman selling a few handfuls of dry rice she's dyed and scented for £14 a bag?? And people are genuinely buying it??

I've been noticing a lot of comments pointing out/complaining about AI or using the word slop are being hidden and I guess this is why :/

Maxi egg, one billion pounds

I wish boomers cared about real animals that live outdoors as much as they do about commenting on ai slop animal videos

She was right to say it

Nobody has been in the mood for April fools news stories for a few years now because everything just feels like some kind of sick joke

They should make blankets for tall people

The grinch is green because he eats spinch

Death, taxes and tiger woods drink-driving

it's very important to me that i never say "Clavicular" out loud. i can read it and write it but it is not a word i want to emit from my human body.

I'm tired of this grandpa

there needs to be freelance work for people who are decent at various weird things

It takes 69 minutes to fly to the south of France. Nice

Me concluding every gcse history essay I ever wrote

You could make a tiktok putting slice of cheese on a plate and people would still be like "recipe??"

Google has a lot to answer for generally but, mainly making it fashionable for job interviewers to ask some insane stupid question just to see how you react to a surprise. How am I supposed to feel prepared when there's a non zero chance of "how many salmon could you fit in a campervan" tomorrow?

Ta3al x temperature remix would go crazy

Job seeking in Heritage atm is like: amazing new museum job opportunity as part of heritage lottery funded project 🥰 Museum assistant Middle of nowhere at least masters degree or equivalent, PhD preferred Fixed term 1 week Salary 20p and a pat on the back Early starts late evenings and weekends

yeah im bummed about sora. bummed i sora bunch of stupid fake videos

It's the law that local authority websites have to be borderline unusable

Have we had an influencer ordering a Cuba libre and calling it activism yet?

THE PIGEONS ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO CATCH HERE SO GOING ON TO TRAFALGAR SQUARE TOMORROW.

Many thanks for the new gecko.

i like how people talk about "the markets" like it's an omniscient mystical entity when the current situation proves it's a bunch of rubes with short-term memory issues taking a liar at face value every day

we occasionally hear of English and American vessels, which, in those waters, have been remorselessly boarded and pillaged

I really need to do my Bay of Pigs homework before the sequel comes out

Regret to inform I have become stardew valleypilled again, just unlocked the greenhouse babeyy

Updated my job application spreadsheet and it's a solid 50-50 split between being ghosted and getting a proper rejection email atm

Same with Piers Morgan

you can only play leap frog every four years

DVD stands for Da Video Disc

How I remember the word fish (سمك samak) in arabic:

CD stands for Cee Dee

googoo dolls iris voice

If I was a microwave popcorn manufacturer I would shape the bag in such a way as to not get stuck in the microwave and burn the popcorn

Any time someone talks about having heavy periods/intense cramps online I see at least one "hey girlie this isn't normal talk to a doctor 🥺🥰" comment which is broadly fine but kind of assumes the doctor gives a fuck and wants to do anything about it

See also: British rivers

Semicolonoscopy