Coffee and bacon smell better than they taste. Probably going to stop putting coffee on my bacon.

According to CMDb (Cockney Movie Database), Terry Gilliam made Twelve Monkeys for £6000.

They’re calling Megyn Kelly “Megyn R. Kelly" now.

“Run, Run, as fast as you can; you can’t catch me I’m the...”

Who called it a monastery and not monkey business

I’m eating for 2 now, according to the serving suggestion on the packet.

At the

In the 1970s we didn't get a prize in each layer of pass-the-parcel like kids nowadays. We had to wait right until the end and then it was just a packet of cigarettes.

How do you pronounce the word PRONUNCIATION? a) 'pro-NUN-ciation' or b) 'Pro-NOUN-ciation.’ Like a psychopath

25 of the funniest posts we’ve seen on Bluesky this week. www.thepoke.com/2025/11/12/2...

What I lack in looks and physical prowess, I make up for in lack of personality

Mamdani is going to implement Shalamar law. He’s going to make it a night to remember

I admire people bringing books out written by ghost writers. Must take fucking ages on the ouija board one letter at a time

Add the phrase 'No relation’ whenever you mention anyone’s name, just to see people's confused reactions

This afternoon I was trying to carry a mattress downstairs and I tripped and fell and was absolutely fine.

I even pretend not to be home for a knock-knock joke

Terry Griffiths vs Cliff Thorburn. The Crucible, 1983.

It's been a very quiet week. As a small business owner that’s a bit scary heading into my busy season. So, if you're looking for unique #Christmas gifts, I make prints, homewares, cards & accessories inspired by midcentury design, music & architecture. Have a nosy here gailmyerscough.co.uk

the first person who cut an umbilical cord was wild

Sorry I marked myself safe from your PowerPoint presentation

"I'm very sorry to wake you, sir, but is this your chopping board?

"Let them eat cake IN A MINUTE" - Marie Antoinnotyet

Saw someone with the same teeth as me at the coincidentist.

Mamdani is going to implement Shalamar law. He’s going to make it a night to remember

House prices have gone up in the French town of Sauté since it's become gentlyfried.

The first time I tasted red mullet was 1991; it was on a busy escalator that suddenly stopped and we all jolted forward.

Your cat when you're choking to death in your apartment

They should be the UK's Avengers

Brummie folk! Sunday 16th November, 5pm, Cambridge Rd Methodist Church, Moseley, we present our Victorian improvised Whodunnit www.skiddle.com/whats-on/Bir...

One huge fart.

Woke up with such a hangover this morning. I hadn’t been drinking, I’m just middle-aged

Remember, if you're doing fireworks at home, never return to a lit firework. Apart from the Catherine Wheel nailed your fence; that always needs another nudge.

The word ‘lest’ at this time of year in the UK

Turn that frown up your arse

Laurence Fox wrote a song about Charlie Kirk, and this is the only comment on it.

Always leave them wanting their money back.

For Hallowe'en I'm dressing as the really drunk person you've put to bed but who keeps getting up to come back to the party

They asked me if I had any specific criticisms of the Ghost Train. I said nothing leapt out at me.

Trick or Treaters don’t like it when you offer them a healthier alternative to sweets, like an old wardrobe I want rid of.

Me, reading your posts.

My neighbour is so nosey she joins local Facebook pages of areas where she doesn’t even live

"Is it fucking driving?" - me, behind cars with a Baby On Board sticker

We assume a ghost is evil when it knocks things off shelves, but maybe it’s just really clumsy

For a party that isn’t racist, Reform have an awful lot of racist people in it who say an awful lot of racist things.

If you can't remember whether the clocks go forward or back in the UK this weekend, here's a handy phrase to help you: “the clocks go back this weekend”

When I’m annoyed at my wheels

I recently went for an audition; I don’t want to blow my own trumpet, but that’s why the brass band said no

Avalanche: what Gino D’acampo does around midday

I do like a giant rooster