Update: thesis draft has been sent! I might have resorted to affogato

Fam, I have TWO DAYS to finish this draft of my PhD thesis. Send coffee

Spot the dog

I walk past this tree every morning and never noticed until today that it was giving me a Cheshire Cat grin.

Ten years since the massacre at Pulse Nightclub…so many precious souls. 😢

On the Costa Blanca, appreciating some classic art

My neighbours have invested in a cat buggy and now I want everyone to have a cat buggy

Happy Pride Month from your favourite pansexual auntie! If you’re looking for some queer books to read this month, may I humbly suggest one of these 🏳️‍🌈 uk.bookshop.org/beta-search?...

I grew this potato. We will feast tonight!

“Trans people will be left with a choice between researching toilet provision every time we go out… our worlds will get smaller, and so many trans people who enrich our communities will self-exclude, leaving everyone worse off.” Lawmakers must end the legal limbo undermining trans lives in the UK.

I’m reading the proofs for my next novel and actually it is very enjoyable. It’s called THE BEST OF ENEMIES, it’s about a woman trying to stop a killer who’s murdering her enemies in strangely apt ways, and it’s out in August. And it keeps making me laugh because my heroine is such a massive nerd

Well my dog has joined the neighbours’ party again

I just saw a squirrel messing around in my tomato plants. He dug several holes and came up with a POTATO. A whole little potato. He wasn’t digging in my potatoes Do I have a magic squirrel

Photo 1: my harvest of spring onions that I grew from the cut ends of supermarket spring onions Photo 2: spring onion fritters First meal from the garden this year!

To my shame, I called this guy Mr Fett. (Kindly, he didn’t correct me.)

Reading a book for my PhD. It’s enjoyable and interesting but I’m thinking not relevant for my thesis. I have so much other reading to do that I keep on wondering if I should quit and pick up another book instead. In the end, I decide to finish it. And…

I’m so happy that Lidl is catering for us bisexuals with low standards

I’m an immigrant to the UK and everyone who voted Reform has basically told me to go f*ck off. So thanks for that.

The AI spam book marketing emails are really ramping up. I used to get one a day, now I’m getting five or six, offering to promote every book I have ever written and several that I haven’t, including books that have been out of print for five years

Pat Butcher-inspired red carpet looks, a thread.

In a SHOCKING TWIST THAT YOU DIDN’T SEE COMING I will be teaching sessions on how to plot your novel at Theakstons Old Peculier Crime Writing Festival this July. harrogateinternationalfestivals.com/event/creati...

Entering my slutty little glasses era

EAT SLAY LOVE is 99p on Kindle… The story of three women with nothing in common, except for the man they’ve got tied up in the basement.

Spent a lovely afternoon in the Med with Katy Brent. Except it was in Basingstoke.

Apparently it is National Bubble Tea Day, and one is obliged to celebrate.

Yesterday @meandmybigmouth.bsky.social told me I must get back to Bluesky, so here I am. With my dog

This is such a fabulous class and what amazing guests! Join us!

Last chance to apply for Writing Romance – Advanced! 💖 Learn from @juliecohen.bsky.social and join a masterclass with romance author Rachel Wood and Publishing Director at @zaffrebooks.bsky.social Melissa Cox. 💌 Applications close this weekend: www.curtisbrowncreative.co.uk/course/writi...

Not long left to join award-winning author @juliecohen.bsky.social on our nine-week course: Writing Romance – Advanced! Learn to write... 💘 A heart-warming novel 💘 Characters to fall in love with 💘 A page-turning plot Applications close this weekend: www.curtisbrowncreative.co.uk/course/writi...

Join award-winning author @juliecohen.bsky.social on our nine-week Zoom course: Writing Romance – Advanced Learn to write... 💘 A heart-warming novel with emotional depth 💘 Characters to fall in love with 💘 A page-turning plot 💌 Apply now:

When life gives you wild garlic, make wild garlic salt

Meg and I took a trip to @bertsbooks.bsky.social in Swindon to sign copies of BODY COUNT. Meg was most interested in following Michael around to make sure he was shelving books correctly, but she took a moment to do a publicity shot with Bert. She is such a pro. @zaffrebooks.bsky.social

Almost 10,000 authors have come together to publish an empty book protesting the theft of books by tech companies to train AI models. Titled Don’t Steal This Book, it is empty of text except the names of the authors involved.. 🧵

UK #DEAL ALERT! Calling all one-clickers because BODY COUNT @juliecohen.bsky.social is on #sale on #Kindle UK until the end of the month! amzn.to/47rxjob #BodyCount #ad #amazonuk

I gave in the first half of my PhD thesis draft yesterday and today I am checking my email every five minutes like a hyperactive Muppet.

FUCK YEAH PUT EM IN JAIL

Home decor question: Should I paint over the caulking between my tiles and the wall?

I FINISHED MY REVISIONS which means that this weekend I can PAINT MY KITCHEN in between writing to my elected representatives for the 3000th time (PS f*ck 🧊)

Tell me again how nobody cares about theatre, how the arts are elitist, how Shakespeare belongs in the past…

I identified 20 different bird species on my walk today 🐦 🦢 🦆🐦‍⬛🪿

🖕🧊

Oh hey if you want to read a book about a woman killing terrible terrible men whilst wearing amazing shoes, my novel BAD MEN is currently 99p on Kindle for today only www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B0C1...

This is the face of a dog who knows that I made friends with a cat this weekend

Have I reached Peak Sapphic

In December, I helped my elderly parents move to a friendly 55+ community in southern Maine. Today, fucking ICE turned up and arrested the construction workers.

👇🏻

babybel implies the existence of scarybel, sportybel, gingerbel and poshbel

I’m walking to my physio appointment and I think I just saw a man in a velvet coat carrying a bag of live pigeons