It's wild watching Americans discover for the first time in their life that most people outside their country don't want to be American.

It’s called shepherd’s pie because shepherds herd sheep and it’s called cottage pie because cows live in a cottage

I just remembered Steve Albini’s Steely Dan tweets and I am now utterly delighted.

Well at least we'll have some variety.

Terrible news for the people of 1998.

I Love Graffiti.

When it happens, his post mortem gasses will invert his rectum and turn it into a vuvuzela. Okay, so THIS is the worst thing I've ever written.

alcohol isn't doing it -- give me whatever unholy concoction of drugs that's firing off the random unconnected brain synapses in our bloated corpse of a president

Trump is now confusing Greenland and Iceland: "They're not there for us on Iceland, that I can tell you. Our stock market took the first dip yesterday because of Iceland. So Iceland has already cost us a lot of money."

HE IS SO BORING

Maybe he'll fall down some stairs at Davos

Remember how happy we were when we thought he was dead

I found a picture of every argument on bluesky

Oh my god, just nuke us all and get it over with - this is so boring

For the love of god man just die on the toilet and be done with it.

It becomes harder and harder to not be fucking furious that America for voting for that malignant cancer TWICE

I still have hope that the man will just shit himself to death on a stage and, you know, this one is really lit well

You'll never guess who I'm talking about

🚛 On Sale Now 🚛 William Friedkin's SORCERER has been restored in 4K and screens at Light House on January 31. 🎟️ https://www.lighthousecinema.ie/film/sorcerer-4k-restoration

Your reminder on a cold, wet January morning, as fascism spreads like a watery shitstain across the bedsheet of democracy, that vodka is a perfect breakfast beverage and can’t be detected on your breath by those you meet, whether they’re your colleagues, passengers, or patients.

It’s funny how so many companies are proudly advertising that their products and services are just going to suck more.

👍🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

81 years ago: To Have and Have Not (US) A Martinique charter boat skipper gets mixed up with the underground French resistance operatives during WWII. 1945-01-20 https://www.themoviedb.org/movie/22584

Jesus. Tamagotchis were a better tech product than this. State of these cunts.

Someone I used to work with (and thought was a massive tit) has announced the (sad, obviously) death of her mother on LinkedIn (I know) with this sentence: "As a leader, an entrepreneur and human, I am having to grapple with a devastating rite of passage".

when you realize that the American unipolar global order was suppressing long-forgotten levels of public Frenchness

trump 2019: i barely knew him. a lot of people knew him much better than i did. but he was a creep. trump 2026: we can clone jeffery and i think we will. i do. you take some of the DNA and a tube and bing there's a new jeffery. i don't see why we wouldn't.

My brother was the best at hide-and-seek. I miss you, Mikey. Wherever you are

The urge to post about the world going to shit is overwhelming, but a little predictable, so instead I will regale you with the tale of a man who just approached me outside a building in town where Argos used to be, and whilst gesturing up at the building wailed “WHERE’S ARGOS GONE”

Well worth listening to this.

Fairly sure it’s unintentional, but the end date on this mug being sold by the Smithsonian does make it sound a little like they’re saying America dies in 2026…

Eating the AI art in protest is ironically more Art than whatever the fuck the ai guy was doing

Hey Minnesota photographers, I would buy a large canvas print of an ICE agent slipping and eating pavement under the aurora borealis. Conditions are perfect.

French vehicle manufacturer Renault will start building long-range attack drones at its Le Mans and Cléon plants. Renault will produce up to 600 of the drones per month, with some employees voluntarily transferred from the automotive chassis and motor lines.

This is not in fact the definition of the “working class.”

lederhosen implies the existence of soonerhosen

Look, this is batshit and awful on every level. But as a historian, I do feel compelled to note this is the first occasion a US president has publicly declared "it's only that a boat landed there hundreds of years ago" is not a legitimate basis for territorial claims.

We got trailers to all the animated movies ahead of Bone Temple this morning. The kids going to see Charlie the Wonderdog must’ve gotten the trailers to all the upcoming R-rated horror films.

"I no longer feel an obligation to think purely of Peace"

That explains the smell.

"Give me the peace prize or I'll kill you" seems like a pretty funny joke until it literally unfolds on the world stage

“We worked so hard to arm these people. Why are they armed?”

oh it's going to be a Recession recession

I spoke to the Secretary-General of NATO, Emmanuel Macron, Keir Starmer, Friedrich Merz and Giorgia Meloni. Together we stand firm in our commitment to uphold the sovereignty of Greenland and the Kingdom of Denmark.

125 years ago: The Brahmin and the Butterfly (FR) Original title: La chrysalide et le papillon d'or A man attempts to engender a transformation of a giant worm into a butterfly. 1901-01-18 https://www.themoviedb.org/movie/107256

massive beef in the google doc just now after anonymous capybara undid anonymous rhinoceros’s deletion and snark-commented “Not sure this is in line with signed-off corporate messaging, consider rephrasing”.

100% tariff on the MM/DD/YY format.