Class act.

I wonder at what age I’ll no longer get excited about my kid shitting in a toilet.

My word.

Just because.

Donald Trump's rant about Rob Reiner raises new questions about Joe Biden's mental state.

"It's beneath you" lololololol

#GVerse Once you see how fast food is made, you may change your mind about eating it: 😱🤣 Sorry Not Sorry! 😅

I am confused. How will the Cowboys lose in the first round of the playoffs if they do not make the playoffs?

30 to 40 mandarin oranges: an easy weekend dinner. I will certainly not regret eating 30 to 40 mandarin oranges.

JB Pritzker: “We’re a nation mostly of immigrants — that is who we are fundamentally at our core. We ought to always be that, it’s what’s made our country great — Immigrants are the most entrepreneurial. Immigrants are the most grateful & patriotic”

God's creation is so perfect that literally the only patch note since Genesis 1:1 was "There's too much skin on your dingers, get trimming"

Did a teammate cut mahomes hair, hole mole!

I wasn't born in New York but I lived there long enough to feel like I was becoming a New Yorker. One of the ways this manifested was if I saw someone wearing a straw boater instead of a felt hat on or after September 15 each year I would knock off their cap and beat them with a large stick

"Last year was one of the most disappointing seasons in Mets history and now David Stearns is going to do it his way" David Stearns' Brewers won 1 playoff series. His way ain't that great.

Absolutely hit the nail on the head. As a 41 year old Mets fan, from LA, who has been watching them religiously since ‘97, for the first time I’m canceling my MLB.tv subscription. Thank you @mollyknight.bsky.social

this fact is the definitive judgment on kirk's life

Though there is no robust scientific literature on the effect of stuffed animals on adult sleep, several studies have shown that plush companions can help adults self-soothe. nyti.ms/4owotLv

A straightforward moral question.

I asked ESPN Research and they asked Elias Sports Bureau and they looked back as far as they could (to 1978) and it would appear Jalen Hurts is the first player to ever commit two turnovers in one play. Isn't history beautiful?

Movie you’ve watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel, Disney Animated or Pixar.

"Who wants the twilight when he can have the fucking sun?" - The Naïve and Sentimental Lover (John le Carré) bookshop.org/ebooks/quote... #booksky

I love an own-goal. It’s one of my absolute favorite things in sports. But it makes me sad when it’s the team I’m rooting for. #mlscup

Poetry: “Our mission has always been to entertain the world,” said Ted Sarandos, co-CEO of Netflix. “By combining… timeless classics like Casablanca and Citizen Kane to modern favorites like… KPop Demon Hunters and Squid Game, we’ll be able to do that even better.”

WOW! AN HONOR! — GCN

"So you see, Mummy and Daddy were child martyrs to a grown-up world and that is what I will never let you be if I can ever prevent it, I promise. They wanted to be better and in a way they still do. The trouble is, they never discovered how" - The Naïve and Sentimental Lover (John le Carré) #booksky

Sabrina Carpenter made the White House delete their fuck ass tweet.

"Shamus’ attention has been drawn to the next table, where a blond lady from Gerrard’s Cross is listening to a disguised bishop talking about The Dustbin of Ideas, which is Shamus’ metaphor for politics." - The Naïve and Sentimental Lover (John le Carré) #booksky bookshop.org/ebooks/quote...

this really isn’t an exaggeration

I have some bad news about your most recent Black Friday purchase, the AI Pervert Toilet.

cake had all these songs about cars but the cars didn't have any songs about cake

Same, at almost any bar in the world.

I'm at the combination

It blows my mind that there are 96,988 people in this country who are still cruel and stupid enough to vote Republican, let alone in a single district. But then again, Tennessee is most positively described as an inflamed rectum.

"I would submit that if you think the only people you should have in your country are the people you produce yourselves, you are an idiot. In this respect (and one or two others, frankly) the Conservatives are idiots." - The Road to Little Dribbling (Bill Bryson) #booksky

Bo Nix? More like Bro Missed. #snf

I’ll never understand why Taylor didn’t give Kittle a longer look. #49ers

I’ll tell you what, I hated that play call to take the penalty and I sure was wrong. #49ers

Nobody could have seen any of this coming.

i hope you will still consider writing your stories for IHTOV, to help spread the joys of music and vinyl. this site is such a joy for me to publish, i love reading your stories and i love sharing them. i just can't pay anymore and i am sorry

I accidentally drank a whole bunch before any family arrived. Shit.

Usually the Tuesday before Thanksgiving I lick the defrosting turkey inside and out so I literally can’t leave the bathroom when family is here.

Good. Honestly, fuck this creep.

“Your egg nog is in the bathroom”

PUNCHBOWL: “.. GOP members messaged us over the weekend saying that they, too, are considering retiring in the middle of the term. Here’s one particularly exercised senior House Republican: @punchbowlnews.bsky.social

can't believe rfk jr wants to stop me from eating red M&Ms but he'll eat *** out of an ****

After watching countless baking and cooking competitions I’ve come to the conclusion that there are only about 100 professional chefs in the world, but there are infinite bakers.

I think it’s strange that so many voters didn’t realize that the guy who talked about wanting to fuck his daughter was into some really amoral sex stuff. But then I remember this isn’t really about pedophillia for republicans, it’s about a loose cannon that’s used up his worth.

What if they release the Epstein files and it’s a link to Goatse?

OSCAR ISAAC, on whether he'd return to "Star Wars": ".. Yeah. I mean, I’d be open to it, although right now I’m not so open to working with Disney. But if they can kinda figure it out and, you know, not succumb to fascism, that would be great." @variety.com $DIS variety.com/2025/film/ne...

Fact-Checking Claims About Zohran Mamdani https://theonion.com/fact-checking-claims-about-zohran-mamdani/