Funniest part of The Naked Gun reboot imo:

The thing about poll-testing is that what people hate most is politicians giving poll-tested answers. Maybe what they like about moderates isn’t the moderation, but a willingness to buck party orthodoxy signals sincerity. Republicans don’t poll-test a thing, and look at their electoral success.

No one who treated "wear a mask when you enter this store" as horrific tyranny actually believe in deference to state authority. It's Schmittian friend-enemy politics all the way down. "We" should be able to do whatever we feel like without consequence. "They" should be harassed, repressed, killed.

i know we're all busy but i just overheard a plumber say "parlez-vous français ? non ? you motherfuckers don't even speak french, do you" to a pair of french bulldogs

Very helpful video. He draws his gun when the car isn’t even moving forward.

I have drafted a motivation for my university to leave X/Twitter, arguing that posting to it risks feeding our PR images into the porn and harassment machine (so leading to staff, students or others being harassed) and that being there violates our official stance against gender-based violence. /1

aw, that’s all right, he was not super influential on Western philosophy.

It’s funny that the Trump administration can’t boast about this, because then they wouldn’t be able to occupy blue cities.

The way they unblinkingly lie about her and smear her name.

We have a constitutional right to scream, yell and disrupt all day. It's not a capital offense.

I was in the middle of earnest-posting via speech-to-text when my 18-year-old gave me a pickle that he failed to inform me had been soaked in hot sauce-boosted brine.

I keep seeing right wingers demanding people tell them what’s wrong with what the government is doing and add that you can’t use morality—a word they put in scare quotes. They’ve memed and mocked their way out of any sense of right and wrong.

jfc

their tech billionaires had genius ideas about how to save civilization

government by the posters, for the posters had better perish soon, i am so tired

Great work from the saviors of Western civilization here.

"I’m going to pause here just to review: an institution that purports to be a university has told a philosophy professor he is forbidden from teaching Plato." surreal times dailynous.com/2026/01/06/t...

Texas A&M decides that Plato is too woke (and too gay) to be read in College Station, because of risk that the Texas GOP would be offended.

It’s high time we talked about the other major problem facing our country, and that’s today’s wretched NYT Connections puzzle.

If someone in 2013 read the sentence, “Today NATO warned President Donald Trump that the US should not invade Greenland,” they’d think it was a mad-libs.

Perfect example of a political movement of people who can’t recognize when they’ve won because they define themselves by their losses.

Today is the 81st anniversary of the death of Anne Frank's mother, Edith Holländer Frank, at Auschwitz-Birkenau.

It is sadly the case that the only nations Americans can tease without sounding like complete assholes are the UK, Germany, France, and maybe Russia. Canada used to be on the list until our complete asshole president threatened an invasion.

1926 The General 1936 My Man Godfrey 1946 Notorious 1956 The Invasion of the Body Snatchers 1966 Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf 1976 Cría Cuervos 1986 Stand by Me 1996 Fargo 2006 The Lives of Others 2016 Moonlight

So I finally started Heated Rivalry, and now I understand 27% more of the posts you guys made in the last week.

ME: (doing standup) what's the deal with airplane food AUDIENCE: *crickets* [later] GRASSHOPPER: how was the show CRICKET: oh man that guy was hilarious

It is not enough that X bad. We also need Bluesky good

“No, new wars!”

Maybe think twice about laughing at this, guys. Beings only create complete systems of German Idealism under conditions of extreme stress and alienation from external reality.

scalded stomach

Generally not a fan of chasing people off social media sites, whether I think they’re good or evil. it encourages aggression and corrodes the experience as a whole. Blocking and ignoring seemed to have worked pretty well when JD Vance sauntered over here to troll.

Ngl it’s really disheartening to see liberal currents struggle to raise 500K and these jokers just keep raising cash no questions asked

It appears that GLP-1 concern trolls are a thing. Not a fan.

I genuinely, literally, don’t know what anyone rational might mean by saying this is a win for our country.

You can pick the pleasantest and whitest competent man around to try to win working class white people, the RW spin machine will chew him up and spit him out anyway.

Funny that misogynists have their trends. I’m old enough to remember a time when misogynists thought wanting babies was only for women. Women would deceive men into getting pregnant to trap them into marriages. Maybe we’re in 5,346th Wave misogyny?

Nothing will make him happier than getting to milk this for more than it’s worth.

The weirdest thing about GLP-1s is sometimes feeling absolutely famished, but thoroughly unappetized by any specific food you might eat.

The more I’m on here, the more discouraged I get, but when I take a break I miss you guys.

Paper products need to stop saying how many imaginary rolls there are in a package until we figure out what’s going on.

It turns out that when your kid has a real talent for very funny and very accurate impressions, you discover when they turn 14 that there are some real disadvantages.

This is like when someone hears you’re from Long Island and asks if you know Bill from Ronkonkoma.

omg you absolute losers

I feel like I haven’t even been properly lied to about the purposes of this war

"But Wiles conceded that attacking targets on Venezuela’s mainland would force Trump to get congressional approval. 'If he were to authorize some activity on land, then it’s war, then [we’d need] Congress.'" - WH Chief of Staff Susie Wiles, Nov 2, 2025 interview www.vanityfair.com/news/story/t...

I’m no diplomat, but I’m pretty sure kidnapping a foreign leader is not super encouraged.

Racists getting far too comfortable with authentic self-expression.

I don’t see what’s wrong with this or what makes the couple pathetic or unthinking? It’s not that different from consulting books or websites or subreddits or what have you.

From an interview with Chevy Chase basically about what a jerk he is, this is killing me