He did just help try to fake an assassination attempt in Hungary, alls I’m sayin.

thank you to slartibartfast for all his work on these lovely crinkly edges

Tomodachi Wife, Tomodachi Life

Dennis Quaid was the superior Doc Holiday

Fucking “authors” using ai videos to advertise their books can just fuck all the way off. How can I possibly trust your books were actually written by you? MS Paint stick figures would be better than your shitty ai slop

nearest book, page 42, second sentence “Idha kho pana vo Cunda sallekho karanīyo: Pare vihimsakā bhavissanti, Mayam - ettha avihimsakā bhavissāmâti sallekho karaņīyo.” suttacentral.net/mn8/en/bodhi... Beginning of the section on Effacement

Me: I saw some moldy spots on one of the white onions & decided to roast the other tonight before it spoiled too. GF: the garlic is bad? Me: No, the garlic is fine GF: but you said… NOTE: The Norwegian word for garlic is hvitløk, which literally means “white onion/leek”.

I haven’t seen anything on my tl about the female gays in a long time 😔

Snorted a bunch of coke* and 15 minutes later I’m still sleepy, wtf *cola out my nose from laughing

Tfw when you get one of those super deep pimple on the edge on ur nostril that you can’t feel but you know is there because it hurts like hell when you touch it

The thing about bluesky is most of the videos here should just be images, most of the images here should be videos, and all of the posts should just be text.

Pretty soon instead of U.S. soldiers getting extra vaccines before deploying overseas all the other countries will be getting extra vaccines when exposed to U.S. soldiers

I wish I had a Mayor Mamdani

🎶 Orange Shark! Doot-doot-doot-da-doot 🎶

Reading some historical fiction and it refers to lesbians as "𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘴"and I just think that's really special.

the penne opticon

Don’t flush goldfish, they just keep growing!

Whatever you do,

Put it right in my veins!!! :P

Jfc 11 years of virtually no alcohol has made me one very cheap drunk

I always press pause before switching the tv from Netflix to the ps5 input so I won’t miss any of my show

I wonder how much a Delorean with ev conversion would cost 🤔

Beds are decidedly not the things DMB tends to shit on 🤭

A baby waved at me today. I didn't wave back. I wanted to establish dominance early. The baby then shit itself while maintaining eye contact. Respect. We're even.

RIP to all the people that died trying to figure out what plants were edible.

When you get sick on too much Mexican beer that’s a Corona mass ejection

I made lots of Z’s at the z factory last night

Oh look another ddos

LeBron Clarifies Which Teammates Are, Are Not His Children https://theonion.com/lebron-clarifies-which-teammates-are-are-not-his-children/

If they could get mail in the Pacific theater during ww2 they should get mail now

Someone has been teaching attie the forbidden words

That ai code is really shining, ain’t it?

One cooking problem is I don’t do it as much as I’d like so ingredients don’t get needed/used very often. This means when I use something and there’s only a little bit left instead of putting it back in the fridge I think “it’ll only spoil, I should just use it all” Not conducive to good eats

I'm so sorry I keep asking for help. I have moving expenses coming up really soon with bills and food that keep emptying out my account and I've been sick and stressed because of it all. I'm literally over $2000 short. even if you can just lighten the load with $5, please help me or commission me

due to a rift in the space-time continuum, you can send exactly five words to 2016 CHICAGO POPE NETFLIX HAS ADS

I’m here to get out of bed & go pee and I’m all out of bed

Oscar Mayer 🤔

AC Origins is the best AC title, fight me

Broke: Digital nomade Woke: Digital pomade

Gf is out of town so I had to throw away the old coffee filter on my own this morning, it’s so unfair! 😭

Congratulations on a job well done, bike guy

We need more April 11ths in the world

Cats be like "I love you soooooo much ^o^ here's my butthole"

“Real books” this, “e-ink” that. Grow up and read your books the proper way.

Stuff really cooks a lot faster when you turn on the right burner 🤯