The oldest profession in the world?

Schumer is actually letting people know in advance how he's going to let everyone down.

Well? Do you? #FacebookNews

20 YEARS AGO TODAY: Final Score had been using The Fall's Theme From Sparta FC as its theme for this season, so someone had the brainwave of getting Mark E Smith to read the classified results on the red button service part of the programme.

Pine marten

Asylum seekers aren't crying and terrified all the time and that makes the Daily Express mad

Steven Berkoff - Steven Bakeoff

Hey authors! Check to see if Anthropic stole your book to train their slop generator on. You’re entitled to $1500 per stolen Work. Look up your work, and if you’re in the database, file a claim secure.anthropiccopyrightsettlement.com/lookup/

Comedy triumph ending by Scotland! #ScoDen

By Grabthar's Hammer yada yada yada #ScoDen

And now the authentic Caledonian torture really begins. #ScoDen

Fans of possibly-not-cursed garbage can clown heads, your ship has come in!

@372pages.bsky.social Oakland Zoo with a life size replica of King Crab as part of their holiday lanterns this year.

From @privateeyenews.bsky.social:

Hooray! Just learned @talkingpicturestv.bsky.social is to air The Man From U.N.C.L.E. series!

Folks, I really need some help. For the last 10-15 days, I've been pretty much out of action, which has put me two weeks behind on promoting my Film Stories 500 show in London next week. I'd be grateful for any help/support in getting the word out. Thank you. www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/wor...

As Richard Tice says, Reform have identified £300m of savings from councils they run. This remarkable feat has been achieved by plucking that figure out of thin air while increasing council tax by 5%.

Soon, you'll finally know if there's beer on the sun. Tjardus Greidanus the director of The Final Sacrifice tells all in this new documentary coming to Kickstarter next week www.kickstarter.com/projects/rea... vimeo.com/1131135216/1...

It'll be odd and different not constantly thinking "shut up Gregg you one-dimensional gurning TWAT!". Will I miss it? No. I am sane. #MasterChef2025 #CelebritymasterChef

Happy Life Day to all who observe the joyous occasion!

“Short bursts indicate an ICE sighting. Long whistles indicate agents making arrests. If you hear the whistle and you’re undocumented, said [Whitney Hu, a community activist and organizer with South Brooklyn Mutual Aid], ‘you hide. And if you’re somebody who’s not, you go to the street.’”

Important facts: 1. Mel Brooks was born on June 28, 1926. He is currently 99. 2. Mel Brooks does not look like a gormless wax AI muppet with crab claws.

I'm slightly surprised that a vessel called the USS Gerald Ford doesn't just capsize evey now and then at random.

“Let’s try and make it so that everyone has everything they need.” “But isn’t that unfair to the people who ALREADY have everything they need?”

Why do all of Pete Hegseth’s military operation names sound like dildo nicknames?

There is no reason why this should have made me laugh so hard a bit of gas escaped.

Truss is only saying this because even she can scrawl a rudimentary "X", but writing out all three letters of "BBC" is far beyond her skillset.

“When a robin appears, loved ones are near, When a seagull licks its lips, hang on to your chips” #TheArchers

#NowWatching Penguin Highway (2018) A boy genius meets an enigmatic young woman. Penguins start appearing from nowhere in his town, so he decides to investigate. It gets pretty strange, but the movie is held together by the well-written leads and their relationship. youtu.be/Vs3w1X3GSAg?...

"The cat scratched my groin when he saw that woman from Strictly" "Claudia Winkleman?" "No, man, but it was close"

If the UK is on the brink of civil war, as Musk claims, it follows that in 300 years time there will be be a new generation of civil war re-enactment societies. "Geoff,you defend Laurence Fox. Can you guys shout outside a hostel. Brian, i need you to relentlessly slag off Nish Kumar on Facebook."

Are you located in the DC-Baltimore-Philadelphia-New York corridor? Have you always wanted to have your very own 11 foot long papier-mâché hammerhead shark? Now available for free! Perfect for museums, community centers, or your living room! Save this lovely creature from imminent destruction!

Amber: Where IS mum? Bill: Oh, busy... *looks shifty while trying not to think of Jimmy Hoffa*. #TheArchers

'Champagne and Bullets' is up there with 'The Room' and 'Miami Connection' when it comes to black tanktop vanity projects.

Time to GetEven with Champagne and Bullets! One of our most requested riffs is finally here: www.rifftrax.com/champagne-an...

Ghislaine Maxwell Conceals Escape Tunnel Behind Pinup Poster Of Shirley Temple

I listened to the Megyn Kelly clip and my takeaway is that she should change her name to Megyn R Kelly

David Attenborough’s Cryptozoology show “Fabulous Animals” started on this day in 1975, so that’s one good thing that definitely happened back then. Delighted to note the whole series seems to be up on YouTube. www.youtube.com/playlist?lis...

Get ready for a heaping helping of cinematic turkeys this Thanksgiving! 🦃 The #MST3K Turkey Day Marathon is back and for the first time features episodes from Seasons 11 & 12 via our Double Troubled Features Marathon starting 11/27 at 3 am ET / 12 am PT on the MST3K channel.

That’s some nominative determinism right there

This, a request for comment from a marketing student, is almost endearing. I’m going to help her but do I point this out? 😂

Holy shit, just learned about the typewriter art of Montserrat Alberich Escardívol, a Catalan typist. Using an extra wide typewriter and 180 color ribbons, she built up elaborate images from simple characters like 'm' and '.' and ';'. Here is her typewritten painting of the Cathedral of Barcelona.

Many thanks to JCB’s Lord Bamford for donating £200,000 to Reform. HMRC seem to think he owes them up to £500m from money hidden in offshore accounts, but why pay tax when you can give it to a bunch of racists instead?

The best video in the history of the internet* *cetacean needed

Farage says he's "boycotting the BBC" all the time. Here he is last year. Normally lasts until the next invitation comes.

BBC Under Attack: Pot and Kettle Special The new Private Eye is out now.

Go on, go out and look

D.A.C.O.