This morning I've been reading about trees, and have learned that the ash's scientific name is Fraxinus Excelsior, which is now the name I will take if I ever go questing. I have also learned that there's a yew tree in Belgium called Caesarsboom, because Julius Caesar once took a nap under it.

I can only assume the people who made this poisonous-mushroom shaped teething toy for babies are in fact enacting a devious plot to reduce the global baby population www.thenaturalbabyco.com/products/oli...

How's this for an advent calendar? Pluto TV now has all 25 official James Bond films streaming for free. So you can watch one a day and it'll take you all the way through Christmas. Start at the beginning with Sean Connery's first mission as 007 in DR. NO: pluto.tv/us/on-demand...

This is actually quite brilliant, up to and including the final sentence 🔥

Why are they called warning labels on packs of cigarettes and not smoke alarms?

The most precious commodity you have is your attention. You don’t have to waste it on poor-faith debates or arguments with strangers if you don’t think they’ll be productive. You can prioritize the things that matter to you and make your life richer.

One advantage of going to to festival gig solo is not needing to wait for anyone else, and thus being able to outpace the crowd.

I remember when our kids were little, one of them really really wanted to see the new Jurassic Park movie. We were prepped for it to be to scary for them. At some point we heard them counting. Asked what they were counting. They were keeping track of how many people were eaten.

You keep using that word It does not mean what you think it meams

This is very nicely arranged www.youtube.com/watch?v=66M8...

So this happened in Oslo yesterday. Four articulated buses got stuck in a roundabout.

Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷

Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony. However, eating too much pie is OK because the sin of pi is always zero. #joke

You know, I'm not sure I ever really read the Pond Rules at our local nature preserve all that closely before

I’m a 10, but in binary

A joke my 15yo told me while we were hanging out today: Man: If I do my Borat impression even ONE more time, I'm going to end up divorced. Therapist: What? Who told you that? Man: ... Man: *visibly struggles*

This is literally the plot of HIGHLANDER 2: THE QUICKENING.

I was reading a book the other day and the author threw in a passing mention to a bridge in Cork, Ireland which I’m pretty sure was a gift to me personally because what do you mean the locals have called it The Shakey Bridge for so long that recent conservation works were forced to retain the wobble

There are an incredible amount of movies on Tubi. Some of them may even be worth your time to watch. As someone who can enjoy a "bad movie" though, I recommend staying away from the "Andromeda" series of films though. Ooooh boy.

Added a makeshift birdbath (a terracotta pot plant dish) to the back yard yesterday, and was happy to see it getting some use by one of the new additions to the neighbourhood.

forest foot

I was talking to a guy who does beautiful woodworking stuff and I said it seemed hard as hell. He said "Shit son, doing anything is hard. Hammering in a nail straight is hard. Anyone says something is easy they just don't remember being taught how to do it. Or practice didn't feel like work."

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

My new favorite kind of meme is "here are detailed instructions on how to turn off AI". 🔨

enterprise storage solutions

D66 Things Guards Say When You Pass A Stealth Check (Fantasy)

We've got Hans. I got McClane... "Get in the box. We'll get together. Have a few treats." This Christmas, Nimbus does a Die Hard.

The best time to plant a tree in your yard was ten years ago. The best time to build a wizard tower in your yard was five years ago. The best time to brew moonshine and invite the old gods of moss & mischief to share a drink in your yard is this very minute.

parents freed a hummingbird from a skylight with a coleus flower attached to a pole

Grammarian and Errorist are at it again! 🖊️

For those moments when a security blanket just won't help:

they should always let this happen

florence pew: thread

My partner referred to the dog's lips as "moist jowlettes," so now, you all must be cursed with this as well.

Googly eyes make everything better

demeanour (n): device to make people nicer #UxbridgeEnglishDictionary

I’m sorry I just found out that in 1379, as in, 650 years ago, a baby girl was born in Yorkshire and named Diot Coke history is a fucking joke lmao

Good morning BlueSky Snuggles

Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap? In this economy?!?

Good Morning Bluesky🌤️ These sleepy heads work so hard!😂 #Dogs 🦮

I don’t think I would buy anything from this vending machine!!! #ChuckandJim

Is it just me, or does this look like a Predator scored itself Vader's helmet?

How do you calculate the molecular weight of guacamole? By using Avocado's Number.

Me waiting for the bus omw to kick your ass

succubus - female demon that seduces men incubus - male demon that seduces women vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party

Oh god, it's just occurred to me that there's a whole generation of internet users for whom the "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111one" joke has no meaning or context.