This kinda makes Stalin's politburo getting fucked up, watching westerns and hiding tomatoes in each other's pockets seem vaguely wholesome and hi-jinxy.

Fucking woke markets hate our troops!

I'm not much for conspirabollocks, but I do find the idea that Russian intelligence is doing targeting for Iran fucking silly. It certainly makes more sense as a bit of mutually beneficial propaganda for those dudes to throw out there than it does as an actual thing that's really happening

Watching in real time and realising a couple of hundred dudes and a couple of hundred grand worth of drones could functionally collapse the global economy almost at will, I think @bloodwork.show definitely have the sequel to the car bomb episodes

Making a big call here. They'll talk a lot about Cuba but they won't actually do shit militarily. This is just red meat for those still living the red scare. Cuba hasn't got enough to steal.

We managed no premade food for our youngest two. But that's with me having access to a commercial kitchen and the associated toys and a carefully managed system of not causing my wife to be justified in beating me into a grease stain of the floor. Wouldn't recommend otherwise.

Just checking: in the past, when leaders made lists of the countries they intended to invade and conquer, were any of them good guys?

The Ones Who Booked Flights Back To Omelas

The Gervais-Linehan memorial whacky bastard to plain bastard pipeline. "I affected to be something I'm not for fun and profit and that's now the only lens through which I can view the world"

Now that ClaudeAI has automated the bombing of schools and hospitals, US troops will have so much more time to devote to winning the hearts and minds of the Iranian people.

At root, this is "We're testing out new ways to kill people, live fire, on a populated area". Imperial Japanese Army in Manchuria shit. Fucking Unit 733t

Late to the party as ever, but Knight Of The Seven Kingdoms was extremely endearing with it's lapses into silliness, and that's always great in yer GrimDark

People seem overly surprised at this attitude from the people who brought you an army whose best known soldiers go by a single letter

Statistically, being unable to leave due to the threat of indiscriminate violence justified by your country of origin is the majority of people's Dubai Experience

Call it a hot take, but I'm starting to think that a century odd of framing and understanding everything happening in the Middle East as simply ructions between various flavours of Muslims with no further political or social analysis hasn't been particularly helpful to "The West'

I used to use one of these yokes to make potato straw that I then wrapped around rolled and braised shin beef. Might have been the best damned thing I ever came up with

The Tories have spent the last thirty years in a coalition with the DUP of various degrees of formality, and Reform are actively seeking the same, in addition to bringing in the various headbangers of the TUV. But, sure, tell me more about their opposition to "Sectarian Campaigning"

Bizarre seismic activity detected around the grave of Mohammed Mossadegh

It would be a more accurate accounting, and possibly an @theonion.com headline to rival "No way to prevent this..." to simply state "Fuckwit Programmers Write Fuckwit Program" every time this nonsense crops up

Innit really fucking great how every single time some piece of shit dude gets exposed for serial sex crimes you get a couple of their inner circle sticking their heads up with "Oh yeah, went on for years, everyone knew, amazed he got away with it" Yeah, Champ, and you're fucking *why*

In fairness, I completely failed to account for the British press with this take. Which, y'know, is kinda like forgetting about your elephant when you need to build a massive pile of shite.

EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP. SHUFFLE JUST STARTED PLAYING DETACHABLE PENIS

I know a guy, and he's a great guy, don't get me wrong. He's on that Ozemoic gear, and it's clearly working great for him. Thing is, he's a real proud type, and wouldn't want anyone thinking he's taking it. So he's working out like fuck and subsisting on blended celery and walking MILES a day...

Fuckin' Penguin-ass "They wouldn't put me in a pedestal, so I'm laying them in a slab" wankers

I wonder if there's a single British journo with the stones to report that Andy has been arrested over his association with a grooming gang.

With remembering that every British news media outlet has a department of some size of Royal Correspondence, and despite people apparently being employed full time in this endeavour, it's shocked Pikachu all round

It's possible that Jeffery Donaldson could finally achieve the dream of any DUP man and soon be living with a member of the royal family

The Matrix: Reloaded. It's the first night, the cinema is jammed for the last show, I'm sitting down, mostly enjoying things. About twenty minutes in, the guy behind me stands up, flings drink and popcorn screenward and bellows "This is some fuckin' Star Trek Skee-Fee bollocks", and storms out

Elon's entire being at this stage is just the biggest ever version of shitty spelling and grammar in a scam email. He's got his followers distilled to a concentrated mass of the most gullible motherfuckers on the planet, just soaking them for coins at every turn

There's a percentage of men, and yes, they're almost all men, who are at best two attaboys from all kinds of heinous shit, but now that the world's economy is handcuffed to the attaboy machine, Sorrento's that's just how it's gonna be

The answer to the financial pitfalls of music production for poor people is not a subscription to SUNO AI, but pirating ProTools and Ableton like a proper person.

Did you ever watch MasterChef? Every intake, you'll get a bunch of people gushing how they'd do anything to work in the industry. Said anything does not include catering colleges or starting as a dishwasher and working their way up. Straight to middle income. That's what Suno is teasing

Where in Belfast could a man get a decent/interesting breakfast these days? I've a stupidly early appointment during the week here and would like to get some bit of my morning back

I don't know why people are surprised RFK Jr advocates for white people having babies and people dying horribly before their time. That's been the entire secret of his success.

Having the same birthday as Darwin and reading this (and also some Abe Lincoln stuff) almost makes me believe in horoscopes.

So, when Elon does weaponposting, do you think it's: a: a handy-dandy guide for local toughs for what weapons can be acquired by simply punching a very soft man b: an increasingly desperate attempt to enact an escalating fetish around the last object to be stuffed up his arse Enquiring minds...

Why does the beard make him look like Bon Scott even though Bon Scott didn't have a beard?

Signs that I am both a massive teenager and old as shit at the same time: I got given a ticket to see Clutch for my birthday. A seated ticket.

I think when people noted that Ineos was maybe an ethical downgrade from Sky as a sponsor for a cycling team it might have been a sign that Ratcliffe was a known and noted piece of shit.

Bernadette Devlin McAliskey. (Ok, technically the girls and boys schools were separate at the time I was there, but have since been integrated so I'm claiming it anyway)

Who's the most famous alum of your high school? I'll go first: David Draiman of Disturbed

At the local soft play/kid's party place, and they've papered a wall with pages from a bunch of kid's books (apparently donated from the local library after they were past lending) and it's very cute. Apart from where they've filled in spaces with unedited pages from a biography of James Hunt

You're all talking like you've never made a mistake. Look, I'm only human, I once took my pen drive full of racism to work instead of my normal one and posted under the president's name, too. Fucking elitists

Just finished @brockway.bsky.social "I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend For $200" and it joins the alarmingly large pantheon of "really good Novels from former Cracked writers about heavily flawed and traumatised folks riddled with self loathing somehow managing to save the world despite themselves"

We must do everything in our power to tackle the visibility of discrimination, but without at any time doing anything about that discrimination. The values of the RUC remain preserved and exalted

The US election system is the greatest system in the world for deciding which of two old fucks whose families should be taking away their car keys gets to control the most potentially destructive forces on the planet.

It's always sad when half of a double act dies, specifically if they used to present Big Break.

"Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, it's cool and good. Just keep it off the evening news because those headlines really fuck with the poll numbers"