good morning

honestly we should have some sort of American Shahada, just give an honest and heartfelt recitation of our values and bingo-bango, here's your passport

setting out a jar of mayonnaise for uncle sam tonight

If you have questions, I do not have any answers whatsoever

Don't want to speak ill of the dead, so getting this Mitch McConnell take out now. He saw Trump with complete clarity, as a danger to America, but protected him anyway. Perhaps more than anyone, he had the power to end Trumpism, but chose party over country. donmoynihan.substack.com/p/jan-6-and-...

57% of American men said they could win a fight against an elephant seal. "Easily, bro. Quick jab to the nose, then I'd get 'em in a sleeper hold. No problemo."

The satirez they sometimes just write themselves #GreatAmericanStateFair

Yellow substance seen oozing out of Trump’s ‘Temu’ arch at the Great American State Fair

"The Pope is the puppet of the Chinese authoritatian government" is a take you would make if you made billions by drinking paint.

pickett's charge is one of the stupidest military maneuvers ever ordered and I do not have to die on that hill because so many confederates did it for me

Ad Rock: you can disagree with the current All: POPE MCA: but if you push his buttons then you’re a All: DOPE Mike D: ordain yourself a bishop and you’re All: SCHISMATIC Ad Rock: excommunication is All: AUTOMATIC

"It was an 'if you build it, they will come' mentality that failed," said a White House source. No! It didn't fail! You're exactly right! You just didn't fucking build it If you build it half-assedly, they will come half-assedly. If you barely bother to build it, they will barely bother to come.

been watching JUDO BOY / KURENAI SANSHIRO on the ol @hidive.com. Sanshiro's a damn near unbeatable judo-ka, but even he isn't immune to this one crazy trick:

In America, less is never more. Only more can be more.

Wait a goldang minute, they're putting on a fireworks show that they want people TO STAY INDOORS FOR? Why do they hate America?

It's The Muppet Show with our very special guest star Plato!

Toad got to Frog’s house. He looked in the window. “Good,” said Toad. “Frog is not home. He will never guess who raked his leaves.”

That or we get a new oooosian church. If we jackpot we jackpot hard (theoretically possible, never gonna happen fanfic) Roberts, Thomas, Alito, Kavanaugh and Barrett join the Schism and declare it the new American Church Schism is resolved when they're all struck by lightning.

His suffragan too

The Bishop of Norwich has some nifty moves with a big stick. Just saying.

all that money. all that fucking money... but what on earth does he do with it? he has no pleasures, he loves nothing, he gives nothing away. he just wants to have it, to know that he has it, and to know that no one else has it.

I assume Don Jr and Eric have complicated feelings about Don Sr. He's horrid and has been horrid to them, specifically, so they hate him, but he's also made possible their luxury and importance, so... I suspect it's the one complex, contradictory thought they've ever had.

had to read that headline a few times to get that they really mean $2 billion in *income*, not worth i can't wrap my mind around such greed. a great nation makes you its leader and you just take and take and take.

what a time to be alive

me talking to magically resurrected founding father: and so sir you can see how the supreme court has become a deeply illegitimate institution that threatens the very republic you created founding father: there are *how many* papists on it???

We can’t possibly confirm a replacement for Sam Alito this close to a presidential election

FIVE-FOUR? FIVE TO FUCKING FOUR?!?!?

SAM ALITO IS RETIRING: www.npr.org/2026/06/30/n...

Odysseus battles the dozens of men who tried to marry his wife while he was lost at sea.

sorry I missed this at the time! I'd say 'better late than never', but a Binface is never late, he arrives precisely when he means to. hope you got that vote, @countbinface.bsky.social

holy crapola, the Ninth Circuit covers just over 20% of the population. TIL

in the 90’s, computers would scream every time you went online. that‘s called foreshadowing

Old Man Testicles Are A Succulent And Healthy Breakfast Cereal It's 9:00AM

To still be persisting with “Sleepy Joe” when a large part of your Presidency is taken up with snoring, slumping and drooling is irony so thick, it could almost be Pete Hegseth. #DonSnoreleone

Crypto Currencies explained in 24 Seconds

*sounds of sand-filled garbage disposal get louder* *RFK Jr rises from within his skinsuit made only of roadkill penis and whale eyes* “Prions are our natural source of longevity. I read a study on it, by a researcher from Facebook. It’s called ‘Misfolded Protein is The Same As Eating Cheese.”

For the last however many years, Yoo has been the guy that all the newspapers and networks have gone to for comment. What the fuck, and Why, actually?

We need a whole lot more Republican Representatives to trudge down to the Mall, stand in front of this shit, and praise "the most amazing public celebration in human history."

2/2: This is a more complete Spiers and Pond piece I found several years ago - look at all those wonderful names of hotels and taverns, many of which we still recognise or remember such as the Criterion, Windmill and Gaiety, and a few of which are still open today!

"You say you're taxed, but you aren't represented? Bah Gaw, that's downright unAmerican! Nevermind that petition, we're gonna start a revolution!"

THEY GAVE THE STATUE OF LIBERTY WINGS?!?!? WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE

THEY'RE CELEBRATING AMERICA WITHOUT PIZZA?!?!? THE PITS OF HELL!!! STRAIGHT TO THE PITS OF HELL!!!!

I'm so happy to see Ukraine blow up Russian refineries, fuel storage, and ammunitions depots (big thanks to @wartranslated.bsky.social and @maks23.bsky.social) and to see Russia do virtually nothing about it. And then I consider that we could have been seeing these scenes four years ago. Goddamnit.

Very Special Boys Club declares each and every member a Very Special Boy. Bedroom declared 'base' where "you can't get me."

Figured out what Madonna looks like.

woodchuck: (seeing some unchucked wood) what the fuck is this