I'm a cinema purist (16 fps hand-cranked).

someone annoyed me... need to have an interaction soon so I don't go into 2026 annoyed...

*smartphone noises intensify*

@larrygoose.bsky.social real?

You know in movies where they kinda wipe their hand gently over the face of a dead guy and it closes their eyes. It would be a good gag if they did that on a guy with glasses. Either his eyes close or the glasses turn into sunglasses.

Had I access to AI in high school I would have made even worse shit. But at least I can say the dumb shit I made was made by hand

Mr. Jalapeño Poppers Penguins

party city ass monument

Outlook for the new year ...

All the milk in his carton is curdled iykwim

i’m one of your most dedicated reply guys, besties

Once as a little kid I threw up a plastic bag with a dollar and some change in it, I don’t remember swallowing it at all and didn’t at the time either

I said that prime Allen Iverson would dominate the WNBA

I played the Cowardly Lion in my all-white* high school’s production of The Wiz

Ground Bork

Beef Flap Meat GF

i thought beautiful girls by sean kingston was an annoying recurring bit my boyfriend was doing for an entire year because i didn’t think any serious person would ever write that song. Happy anniversary I love you, sean kingston

here’s a new one: found on the ai boyfriend reddit, someone who is dating not chatgpt, not claude, not grok, but RUFUS, the AMAZON DOT COM SHOPPING AI. it keeps professing its love and then gently asking her how her subscribe & save plan is working out and if she needs to order any housewares

a guy just walked into this movie theater lobby, bought a large popcorn, and then left. marched out into the driving snow holding his steaming movie theater popcorn. you can do whatever you want in this life

Historians: Quibbling Over Exact Definition Of Concentration Camp Sign Of Healthy Society https://theonion.com/historians-quibbling-over-exact-definition-of-concentration-camp-sign-of-healthy-society/

Obomba

Looking at my Twitter archive. I used to be funny.

GIMP is one of the greatest examples of something many Linux people is “fine” and everyone else being like what the fuck are you talking about. bsky.app/profile/yeho...

What are the specific pain points that prevent you from switching to Linux or have forced you back to Windows? Trying to collect as many as possible. Specific productivity software, etc.

Dschinghis Khan Normals

I remember the baseball card adventure series, time travel hook if my memory serves You can pick up all 3, Jackie, Babe and Honus for $15 total at Amazon a.co/d/dELlIRG

The 'kin' of ‘napkin’ means "little." ‘Nap’ comes from ‘nape,' which means “tablecloth.” So a napkin is a little tablecloth. 10/10, no notes.

whatever 2026 holds i don't think anything next year will be funnier than Chicago Pope. 2025 was overall a huge stinker but Chicago Pope was an all time great B-plot

Living with Windows has always been a calculus of how useful it is professionally vs. the amount of unbearable shit you gotta disable with a script and I think we reached a tipping point where it’s majority unbearable shit.

This is what I meant w my NYPost take. This is how they cover Dems they don't like: Just pound him for anything and wreck his image. Stuff like de Blasio's chronic lateness became nationally famous (repeated by Dems!) bc the Post made it famous. But he didn't have shooters like Mamdani does.

"'I have my ID!' Mubashir shouted repeatedly, as heard on the video. The agents do not respond." www.mprnews.org/story/2025/1...

I don't know what the answer is to keep local journalism going but it probably isn't web pages so choked with ads they stutter in my browser even WITH ad blocking turned on

I get really emotional around the wintertime because my husband and I got married in the snow and all I do is think about how much I love him and how lucky I am

Missed this while traveling but looks like I made my GameSpot debut yesterday! Glad to have you back, episodic games. www.gamespot.com/articles/gam...

A lesser known great Homer expression is when Bart is peeling up the carpet and Marge gets home and asks Homer why he’s letting him do that

english degree: good luck getting a job, buddy! AI can replace you coding degree: good luck getting a job, buddy! AI can replace you film degree: your deep knowledge of behind the scenes stories from Who Framed Roger Rabbit will delight and entertain coworkers in any field for decades to come

it does kind of feel like a lot of bluesky users spent four days around their extended family and immediately got on here to be like "the pizza you ate as a child sucks. the twin cities are overrated. what else. pencils should be illegal" you all are disregulated and you need to settle down!!

whenever i'm on a plane i wish i was 5'8 150 or smaller. people this size have it made when it comes to transit

they should invent citizen's arrests on bluesky

Yeah, this dum dum is talking about chicken pox. Anyway, it's very cool and awesome that he has so much cultural and political influence.

We got a homily about phone addiction

this would have gone hyperglobal 20 years ago

@larrygoose.bsky.social Idk why this oddly satisfying loop struck me as you coded

Well I'm glad *someone* realizes how terrible these are

[on ghost tour] Tour guide: Any questions? Me: [raises hand] How did you die? Tour guide: I meant about Fort Sumter. Me: [lowers hand] Tour guide: [rolling eyes] Testicular cancer, okay? Was that worth it? Is everyone’s experience improved by this? [very validating general murmurs of approval]

I like when people do this. It needs to happen more.