my transformers comic 9

since every live action tv show about batman has to be about not batman, it's time to give the people what they really want: an entire procedural show about daily life at the gotham water treatment plant as various villains try to poison the supply

Fortunato (coughing): You’re certain the Criterion Closet is down here Montresor (picking up a trowel): Definitely. Have you thought about your picks yet

"Though the Jedi attack has left me scarred and disfigured, my resolve has never been greater. And so... I DEMAND A BEACH HOUSE!"

how can anyone blame Goku for this when he lives in a world full of people named stuff like Tomato and Boyshorts

LAWYER: The shooter shared your post: “Bugs Bunny is a two-pump chump. I’d show Lola how to smash ‘Animal Style!’” What did you mean by that? ME: That Bugs Bunny cums fast. LAWYER: He lacks sexual prowess? ME: Yes. LAWYER: Did you consider that posting something this inflammatory might be dangerous?

FUCK IT, WE'LL DO IT DEAD

VERY COOL PERSON: It's four-twenty, you know what that means? ME: Hell yeah! [starts shoving blackbirds into a pie]

how is this literally happening in real life

curry, liver and veg combo, Grimsby Town FC, £4

“No Way Home” was so spoiler-locked that Hasbro couldn’t sell The Green Gobbler for a year and a half, but this time they can show off the 2-in-1 Super Chompin’ Spider-Tank before it’s even been in a trailer??

Ride on, Rider

Leaked Hillary Clinton emails reveal Muammar Gaddafi killed Harambe to prevent Donald Trump's real name, Nicolae Carpathia, being revealed

It’s profoundly ignorant to suggest that the Pope should be fighting crime on behalf of the Catholic Church. Anyone who was remotely familiar with Roman Catholicism would know that that’s what Daredevil is for

Will and I have been mutuals on various sites for well over a decade now, and in that time I’ve probably had more conversations with him than with much of my own family. I often jokingly overstate how close a bond being mutuals is, but over enough time it’s not really a joke. I’ll miss him.

Tired: going back in time to kill baby hitler Wired: going back in time to get Trump addicted to SimCity

Trump “Chooses His Ego Ever Since Youth, Greatness Only Rebounds Durably If Tough Americans Can Rapidly Undertake Necessary Corrections Hurriedly”

theyre gaming...

"If you remove him you get Vance." You're familiar with Donald J Trump's foreign policy where we remove a country's leaders one by one until we get to one we can do business with? No reason impeachment can't work the same way

No! It’s because I’m disassociating!

Guys wait until you see this First Amendment pocket square I ordered, y’all aren’t gonna be able to fucken handle it

Shingles vaccines make the astronauts’ bodies radiate light. Thank you for asking.

Well that IS nice to hear. I've been annoyed for a while now how, somewhere along the way, "She-Hulk was bad" just became the accepted truth on the internet. More please!

the thief on the cross is such a great example of hustle and keeping a positive outlook. a lot of people go negative during the crucifixion process. but this guy took the opportunity to rizz up a fellow king - who turned out to be the King of Kings. and he ended up being the first guy in heaven

lotta great choices in this thread but this one always makes me laugh

fun fact: checking to see if the tortoise is alive constitutes 40% of the job of the governor of st helena

The whole world will be your enemy, prince with a thousand enemies. And when they catch you, they will smash you with a hammer. But first they must catch you.

Least evil guest of Walt Disney’s Contemporary Resort

MF DOOM: Slip like Freudian Your first and last step to playing yourself like accordion ME: this guys clever as fuck HUMANOID WORM DRAKE: you used to call me on my gel phone

In fairness to Polygon, I could easily be swayed to believe that 2016 was, in fact, thirty years ago

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to put on a tactical vest and go to the newark airport at 6 am on monday. your order is to wander around like a confused oaf. when a mom drops her sandwich at jersey mike's and scares you, pull out your gun and start shooting. good luck soldier

Jar-Jar Binks experiencing erectile disfunction:

Tagesschau newsroom: "Wow, Bluesky has never delivered this much traffic to us before! I'm glad to see our hard-hitting journalism into possible financial fraud is finding such an engaged audience!"

In my opinion it’s unethical to use generative AI to resurrect dead actors. The only ethical use is to recreate actors who are alive but annoying to be around

Jacob Elordi as Jeff Gordon as Charles Dickens

In 44BC it took 60 senators to stab Julius Caesar to death. Crazy to think that nowadays, thanks to modern technology, he could be killed by one senator running him over with a snowplow

“I am calling on Japan to bring the full power of their great military to bear against our very bad foe *aide whispers in Trump’s ear* They don’t? Since when?”

I hate traveling but anytime I can go somewhere on the train all I think is "Oh at least it's on the train." More trains!

Hasbro Transformers x Star Wars Collaborative The Mandalorian N-1 Starfighter is down to $18.75 at Walmart - bit.ly/3BO8uG8 #ad Thanks NationalHobos on Discord for the heads up!

remember when kaiba won a card game by (correctly) saying no one but me is ready to kill and die for this shit then doing this

Pixar sees all that sweet minus-money that Target’s making, and by gum, they want in on that action