*walking into liquor store* give me something that'll teleport me to a waffle house

GUYS THEY'RE ALMOST BACK FROM BEHIND THE MOON, EVERYONE HIDE

Going by the closed Reza's Restaurant in Evanston and doing 🤌 to summon da Giordano's

It really doesn't help how many liberals hold up the Constitution as some great document. No nation should be governed by a lightly amended 240 year old piece of paper that in many ways has never worked for most Americans.

It's called the Pewp Tax

Bluesky needs to implement a Data Saver Mode yesterday. I just saw a picture of Altoona style pizza and I am not okay.

donald trump has accepted the light of islam and recited the shahada from the seat of his diarrhea plane

banner day for complete insanity, folks

Imagine voting for this because you thought the libs made your toilet smaller

Every single day Trump acts out in a way that would get you banned from Dave & Busters and the media types up things like “Trump challenges limits of executive theory.”

My favorite old meme was Inglip. That shit had lore, it was like a comical fantasy setting with this bumbling cult running around.

millions of americans waiting breathlessly praying the president is dead

donald trump teleported into walter reed

*walking into liquor store* give me something that'll teleport me to a waffle house

One of those days when XBlock isn't working

Folks, is It Happening?

The moon is actually very dark grey. It only looks light grey from Earth because it's contrasting with the absolute black background of space. This is what the moon looks like compared to Earth.

just for the record "death of the author" means "the author doesnt have total control over the meaning of their own art" not "its okay to give money to hitler if you liked his paintings as a child"

Trump starting to fire people is a big deal. The whole point of his administration has been "What are you gonna do about it lib? Lmao owned." And keeping people in the face of massive scandal was perceived as showing strength. That he's SO unpopular that it's broken is a big deal.

People don’t wanna put two and two together with what he did to usaid and him putting up those maps of global birthrates and saying white people are being replaced

Geophysicists say there is an increased risks of destructive floods and wild fires due to climate change. A guy who thinks he was teleported to a Waffle House says there's nothing to worry about. For busy Americans, it can be hard to know who to trust.

these motherfuckers can't even agree that space is cool, we truly have nothing in common

#NoMansSky Skydiving on a planet with an acid-trip sky

you, a naive fool: i do believe there are some things the nytimes won’t both sides the nytimes:

god the fascist beef tallow shit is INSANE!!! no joke tho, it's become a very good litmus test for "this restaurant owner is a fascist dipshit" if there's a random new beef tallow item on the menu

Looking at the menu of Pizzeria Deville in Evanston, apparently they use beef tallow for their fries / cheese curds? That is fascist crankery, I won't eat there.

More context on this #Artemis II image: * This is the night side, lit by moonlight. You can see city lights in Spain & Portugal, & a sliver of day at lower right * The Sun is entirely behind Earth, which makes it a kind of solar eclipse, but w/ Earth doing the eclipsing instead of the Moon: ☀️🌍🚀🌕

For my part, when I write a post in all lowercase it's to make it clear that the post is a joke.

It's still sodcasting when a business does it.

It's nice to see a Senator talking about the need to Do A Nuremberg on the current folks in charge.

nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: Office365 in spaceship nasa employee: what? astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* Office365 in spaceship

Pam Bondi has been exiled into the Epstein Files. She can be seen on the DOJ website, both hands pressed on the inside of a PDF as she struggles to break free

New reporting on MS NOW: Trump has told Pam Bondi she will soon be removed from her position.

elite enablers of Trump aren’t afraid of Trump, they’re afraid of what has to be done to politically neutralize Trump. that may sound like semantics, but its not.

Somebody needs to bring a tuba to the airport and play stupid tuba music at the ICE agents.

I honestly have a hard time believing he’s going to make it to the end of his presidency at this rate

The Ruler of Dementia

Sorry to anyone who thought Wokeness was annoying but as we now know it's the price we pay for a civilized society

Everyone remember to hide when the astronauts comes back.

Please don’t prank autistic people for April Fool’s Day unless you already know they enjoy being pranked. (Many autistics HATE this day. HATE IT.) #autism #neurodiversity #AutismAcceptanceMonth

Somebody needs to bring a tuba to the airport and play stupid tuba music at the ICE agents.

The fact that Trump is going to oral arguments to pressure the justices to acquiesce to his attempted nullification of a constitutional amendment and create a stateless class for the first time since the civil war, illustrates what is really at the core of the Trump project and it isn’t tariffs.

was just reminded that tomorrow is april fool’s day and especially this year can we just… not, please

WASHINGTON (AP) — Judge orders Trump administration to halt construction of $400 million White House ballroom unless Congress OKs plan.

in order to be a real big brain supreme court justice you have to be able to rotate laws in your mind

the way to win at tug of war is to let go of the rope so your opponent falls on their ass the rest of world is letting go of the rope