Hey I recognize that camera work! 😎 Also it’s actually a great read, especially for the tech work crowd. @matthewseiji.com is entirely too good at capturing the existential thoughts that keep some folks up at night

Author Matthew Seiji Burns (@matthewseiji.com) about his novel Process. www.tuneandfairweather.com/products/pro...

Claiming there will be six more weeks of winter, whatever that even means, at the beginning of February? Not exactly a gusty call... and yet everyone loves him. I don’t get it. - Predictive Animal chat (secret)

Chotiner: I'm going to eat you... Victim: Aaaahhh!! Chotiner: I'm putting you between two big slices of bread.... Victim: Aaagh! Aaagh! Chotiner: And now...I'm covering you with mustard... Victim: No! NO!

I’m the NPC who has “marked the spot on your map.”

Everyone loves to include me in their little schemes

“Phantom power” is an audio gear thing and one of those terms that sounds so much cooler than what it actually is

The most uplifting thing you can say to a clown is “who’s this clown?” because it shows that 1. you recognize they are a clown and 2. you want to know more about them

Robert Nozick: I’m saying people would reject this theoretical Experience Machine, because they want to know they are in the real world Me (not looking up from my phone): One moment. The horse girls need my guidance

Ramza Beoulve: So “broth of bean” is actually a pretty good egg white substitute, you can whip it up and make vegan pisco sours All the people who were mad about the aristocracy before: (cheers and celebration)

#2025Favs #SecondQuarterEdition

If I were running out of magic power to sustain my delightful illusory world, I would simply not let it fall into a corrupted state that exposes my deepest memories

My Chinese homestay father picked a dumpling out of the soup, held it up with his chopsticks and said “look, it’s one of the ones Matthew made”

This Is a Heck of a Way to Find Out I Inherited a Blood Curse! 2

*sigh* It’s not an “expedition,” mom, it’s une expédition

Bro, you doing alright, bro? I saw the autosave icon come on just as you entered the room

the point at which a tech CEO says to you "well what if a COMPUTER could make POETRY huh??? what THEN???" was when i was stopped and checked the release date just to see how ahead of the discourse this game was

Eliza is 50% off. It’s a fully-voiced visual novel about an AI therapy app. It was released in 2019, years before the idea of AI became what it is now. How much did it get right? What did it get wrong? Play it for yourself (play the whole thing) and decide. store.steampowered.com/app/716500/E...

Producer: We got a BIG ORDER on a TIGHT DEADLINE, you up for that?? You ready to DO THIS??? Contractor: HECK yeah I’m PUMPED, LET ME AT IT Producer: Cool, we’re not ready for you yet. Hold on while I try to figure out what’s going on

New episode! @matthewseiji.com talks about his debut novel Process, as well as: • The abyssal nature of ambition • The weird relationship between big tech companies and the cities they inhabit-without-inhabiting • The fractal cults that emanate from the Cult of Steve Jobs etao.blog/2025/12/16/p...

What are "dulcet tones"? Do I have "dulcet tones"? Listen to this podcast (you have to listen to the whole thing) and let me know.

Game designer: After lots of hard work we’re proud to announce we’ve created the Wheel of Saṃsāra from the ancient Buddhist classic Don’t Get Trapped in the Wheel of Saṃsāra

Name fifty indie games? I’m not sure I could even name five… *my memories continue to be deleted* or like, any…

I heard they’re making a new video game! Should be fun, if you like that sort of thing. [Persuasion: 20] Is that all? [Success] Well, no… they’re also making another new video game.

Mysterious-looking guy on the street [passing by me]: They’re French now Me: What? A different mysterious guy: Video games. They’re French now

There are plenty better from a sort of comedy craft standpoint but the two Onion headlines that actually do run through my head on a daily life scale are “Guy With Two Monitors Not Fucking Around” and “New Desktop Folder Created for Sad Little Creative Project”

In 1954 film On the Waterfront, Marlon Brando laments getting a “one-way ticket to Palookaville.” This is because one-way tickets are often more expensive due to pricing models that favor round-trip bookings, leaving Brando with less cash on hand to enjoy Palookaville’s restaurants and attractions.

My most-listened to music this year was the polyphonic drone punctured occasionally by the soft rattles of dry seed pods that is the internal sound of my brain

*checks watch* Believe it’s coming around time again for someone to come forward claiming to have deciphered the Voynich Manuscript

Yo, you feeling okay bro? I noticed your codex entry has installments yet to unlock

Gen Z adults reminiscing together over the time dad suddenly bought a bunch of podcasting equipment because he was going to start a podcast

Hi, I’m Matthew Seiji Burns. You may know me from such tweets as “They call him Big Hat Logan because he wears a big hat” or “Sam. It’s me, Die-Hardman. Wanted to let you know there's banana bread in the kitchen.” Check out my debut novel, about a guy who has a bad time.

one time my uncle visited for thanksgiving, forgot his personal stash of pot brownies in the fridge, went home, died some months later, then 1yr after all this happened my dad opened the fridge, saw the brownies, assumed they were freshly made and ate ALL OF THEM anyway he had to go to the hospital

I recently got to record the video and voice for @matthewseiji.com for a video promoting this book. The publisher put the video out on their YouTube channel this morning! The interview/Seattle clips are mine, the book are the publisher's. Matthew edited and did sound www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nzG...

Check it out, y’all: Timeline 1.mp4

While there are already dozens of videos that clearly demonstrate what happens when you chuck a completely frozen turkey into a narrow pot filled to the absolute brim with boiling oil, I’m happy to let my local fire department have this moment. Go to town, boys

You are not wrong. Or to go a bit further, I in fact agree with you. And yet. I’m still muting you

Odd to say, but I wrote a good chunk of Eliza (2019) here

[new york voice] yea, I use AI… AI’m walking here

I finally finished my copy of this last week. A great story about a guy who *definitely* has a bad time. Anyone who's worked in tech will find a lot to relate to, but honestly I think it's a good read for anyone who's trying to build something. Definitely gave me some introspection opportunities

You’d think if you stopped the coyote from looking down, he could stay in the air. But his feet would eventually register the lack of ground. The real solution is the complete elimination of all sensory input. Then he could levitate indefinitely… not that worldly desires would matter to him anymore.

I’m trapped in some kind of medieval world… I don’t mind not having a smartphone, but every time I meet up again with some lord or rogue I haven’t seen in a while he acts like he’s pissed at me for a few tense moments before breaking into a hearty laugh and slapping me on the back. It’s getting old

I’ve seen enough. I’m not calling a race or judging a competition, I just mean like in general

[Persuasion] What do you think about dialogue choices in games? I’m interested in your opinion. [Failed] Maybe some other time. For now, focus on getting the key to that warehouse.

Process takes readers on an intense psychological journey into the dark heart of Seattle’s tech startup world. The main character is a young man driven by an almost animalistic need to find outsized success creating the next unicorn tech juggernaut. www.tuneandfairweather.com/products/pro...

My name is Ozymandias. Percy Bysshe Shelley wrote a famous poem about me when my statue was looted for England by Giovanni Battista Belzoni, a 2-meter-tall Italian hydraulics engineer and former circus performer, who figured out how to load it onto a boat, after an earlier failed attempt by Napoleon

Chotiner: So you decided you were going to make a joke post— Me: —in the form of a Chotiner interview. That’s correct. Chotiner: And you thought it was funny? Me: I mean, I didn’t think it wasn’t funny. Chotiner: Sure.

Halo on PlayStation isn’t as weird to me as seeing the assets in the Unreal test levels

You’re learning Siddhaṃ calligraphy for Buddhist reasons, I’m learning Siddhaṃ calligraphy for ninja magic reasons, we are not the same (actually, it is the same)